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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hate my house so much it's making me depressed

29 replies

WhatsMyAgeAgainn · 14/10/2025 20:01

I find this a difficult topic to bring up with family and friends. To everyone else I would look selfish and ridiculous as objectively its a "good" house. But I really just hate our new house so much. I wish I could go back in time and never agree to move here. I don't even think I can call it new as we've been here nearly 3 years. I've tried to make it home but there are things about the physical house that I just cannot feel contented with. I feel trapped, sad and regretful. Every day I have to come home to this place I feel my heart sink. The hardest thing is that it is ruining the memories i'm making with our DC. I feel like I can't enjoy these early years because I'm so fixated on our house not being the home I imagined, and that we actually already had before we stupidly moved here. I just hate it so much and can't see a way out. Even more ridiculous is that I feel guilty for my DC for thinking this way. It is their home and no doubt they will have loads of lovely happy memories from here but I just feel so negatively about it all the time. The obvious solution is to move but the actual hassle of this and hoping not to get it "wrong" again has me stuck in this state. I know I'm lucky to have a house but I can't shake this awful feeling, it's making me so angry and negative, I actually hate waking up here.

OP posts:
MeganM3 · 14/10/2025 22:49

I can see why you feel that way. Clearly it isn’t the right house for you. I miss my old home which was a beautiful Victorian small terrace with lots of other families around. It had lovely fire places and high ceiling and a creaky stair.
My ‘new’ place is quite modern and no character.
It doesn’t make me unhappy in the way that you’re feeling, but if it did I would certainly do whatever I could to move.

BlueJuniper94 · 15/10/2025 04:37

WhatsMyAgeAgainn · 14/10/2025 20:25

I miss our old street and neighbours. It felt safe there with a big green out the front that all the children used to play in (ex council estate). This house is near a busy road and I hardly know anyone here despite trying. It sits at the bottom of a hill with houses looking down which makes me feel really enclosed. The garden also slopes down even further. Our bedrooms are right by the front door so I don't feel any privacy. We don't really have a "normal" living area. Writing these out is difficult because I know it sounds so petty, but actually living with something you aren't content with is so mentally draining.

I was hoping it would be something fixable but I totally hear you. Channel your feelings into motivation for house hunting and in the meantime try and focus on the reasons you made this move, there must be something good about it, why is your DH so keen? It needn't be forever

Chiaseedling · 15/10/2025 17:18

I felt like this for ages after we moved to our current house - it was DH’s idea and we couldn’t afford to live in a ‘nicer’ house and stay in the area, but I wish we’d pushed ourselves financially now. We’ve been here 12 years.

. We probably did make a mistake financially, but now I’ve come to quite like it - it’s quirky and now DCs have gone to uni and one at least won’t live here full time again, it feels more spacious.

That said, if I win the lottery tmw I’d not look back. We won’t really afford to move unless we downsize or move further out.

Peanutssuck · 15/10/2025 17:51

I hear this. My house has no good memories. I should never have moved here

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