Page 16 | Things you wouldn't admit to in real life

TwinklyFawn · 2025-10-14T12:13:51+00:00

Light hearted. I dislike my mum's boyfriend. I am sick of his constant grunting when i ask him a question. It is like he is incapable of saying yes or no to a simple question. He is a terrible bus driver. He drives like he is on a race track.

DrowningInSyrup · 15/10/2025 09:43

Mademetoxic · 15/10/2025 09:34

Someone further down this thread says their brother has a 'bad back' yet is continuously out and about doing things. I know people who do not work due to 'anxiety' yet can go out and about their normal day like anyone else. Doing things and just generally living life. There are genuine people out there but many, many others are taking the piss. Yet whenever anyone questions it, we get attacked.

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How have you been attacked? How do you know these people don't work because of anxiety and do you see what their lives are like day in day out. I assume they are people you see every day and have daily access into their homes. No one get pip for just saying they are anxious, it will be more than that and backed up by sheafs of medical evidence, and lists of medications and hospital appointments and admissions.

Go on FB and see that the attacks on disabled people every single day, it is relentless, absolutely relentless and some of it is cruel, even about those who are severely impaired. Nobody attacks you because you mention a friend of a friend who claims benefits fraudulently, but the constant spite towards the disabled is bound to make people defensive.

Stargazingstargazer · 15/10/2025 09:45

Joliefolie · 15/10/2025 00:50

@LonelyPotato You cannot honestly say that every choice you had has been taken away from you. It's not true. You have clearly endured some serious trauma but you have made choices for which you are responsible and you should embrace that responsibility, not deny it. Most importantly, you chose to have your daughter. It's clearly very hard for you both. But YOU chose to have your daughter and you can and will meet the challenge of that choice you made not just for yourself but for her. We can endure the suffering of trauma for which we were not responsible and we can still acknowledge that we go on to make choices and must be responsible for them. We only have one life, there's no 'what ifs', no should/could/would that actually mean anything. This is it. You have the choice to recognise and embrace your position of responsibility. The only person who could take that choice away from you is you.

With respect, this response will likely be highly detrimental to the poster. CPTSD is incredibly complex and insidious, and the poster is doing her best to rise above the damage it has caused and the ongoing repercussions. CPTSD is very hard to overcome. I speak from experience. My life would have been very different without it and the dysfunctional upbringing that created it.

JHound · 15/10/2025 09:45

ChessBess · 15/10/2025 09:34

Of course they’re jealous because it’s unfair that they have to really try and suppress their desire for more sweets treats/high fat foods etc… because they aren’t big enough!

Fine to have something to make people slim but they should be available to anyone to make it an even playing field. Again Many slim people have to consider what they eat and make the right choices….!

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You don't really know a lot about this topic.

And that's fine.

BunnyLake · 15/10/2025 09:45

Mademetoxic · 15/10/2025 09:34

Someone further down this thread says their brother has a 'bad back' yet is continuously out and about doing things. I know people who do not work due to 'anxiety' yet can go out and about their normal day like anyone else. Doing things and just generally living life. There are genuine people out there but many, many others are taking the piss. Yet whenever anyone questions it, we get attacked.

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I have a very painful chronic back pain issue but I still go out and about, carry shopping etc. People can’t see the amount of pain I’m in when I’m doing these things but if they could feel what I feel it would silence them immediately.

Katiesaidthat · 15/10/2025 09:46

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 14/10/2025 23:25

I know that married couple A&B met much earlier than they claim, at a different place than they claim and at a time when they were both married to other people.

They don't know that I know this (and I can't get into how I do) but when they mention how lucky it is that they met at X place, something that they do a lot then I smile and agree whilst inwardly thinking "bollocks".

Hehe I have this with a friend. I know for a fact she met her now dh and his whole family and was enmeshed with them while she was still engaged to someone else with whom she had just bought a house together. We get the B version of their meeting when she had already broken up...bollocks.

pictoosh · 15/10/2025 09:46

I'm not interested in transgender issues. At all. Be who you like, it has no impact on me. I'm cool with whatever suits you. I'm not arsed to hear about it though. Get on with your day.

I'm with the posters who cba with birthday and christmas presents for the sake of it. If there's something someone really wants then great...but that can apply to any day of the year. Trailing around shops and online shopping, hemorrhaging cash at Christmas just trying to find something to gift to someone you are obliged to buy a gift for is stressful and stupid. By the same token, I think it's a shame when someone gives me something I'm not fussed for. So wasteful for all concerned.
I would absolutely admit this in rl. And do.

ChessBess · 15/10/2025 09:47

ThatCyanCat · 15/10/2025 09:24

It doesn't come easy to me. If I ate what I really wanted I'd be the size of a house. As it is, I am a healthy weight (just) but definitely not skinny. I am careful with food and exercise and sometimes it's hard and I go over a bit and have to work to get back down.

But I couldn't care less about other people with weight problems or psychological issues using the jabs. It's not a competition, it's really not about me or anyone else. It's helping them with a health issue. It's not about you or anyone else.

If you think it's such an easy fix, then why not eat exactly as you want, go mad, gain a load of weight and go for the jabs yourself?

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Well that’s a bit silly isn’t it? How’s making myself obese going to enhance my life? It don’t happen overnight…

m00rfarm · 15/10/2025 09:48

Dontlletmedownbruce · 14/10/2025 23:06

I find getting new gifts and presents quite stressful. I only want what I need. Both my family and dhs are generous and at Christmas the house will be filled with things, especially for the children. I have so many vouchers that I don't use, it becomes another pressure. The same is expected in return so i end up with loads to buy and hate adding to the waste and extravagance. I am aware I would sound like a spolt brat if i said this but I really do prefer a more frugal simpler life.

Use the vouchers to buy gifts. Just ask for vouchers ALL the time.

BunnyLake · 15/10/2025 09:49

ChessBess · 15/10/2025 09:47

Well that’s a bit silly isn’t it? How’s making myself obese going to enhance my life? It don’t happen overnight…

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Why are the jabs such an issue for you? Genuinly curious.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 15/10/2025 09:49

I have an eating disorder. I am slim and fit because I run, cycle exercise like a mad thing. I tell people it's because I want to be fit but it's because I like food so much! I think about food all the time (I also have ADHD, which isn't helping because exercise has become a focus). I restrict what I eat until I often feel dizzy and lightheaded, I run and cycle when I would FAR rather be doing something around the house, which I don't have time to do because the exercise takes up so much time. I will often eat an entire cake on a Sunday (the day I allow myself to eat what I want).

I'm due to retire soon and I need to sort this out because otherwise I'm either going to spend all my time eating, or all my time exercising. I just cannot hit the happy medium and feel dreadfully guilty if I don't run four miles or cycle for an hour, then I restrict my food to punish myself.

Everyone looks at me and compliments me on my shape, but I wish they knew how much of an effort it is to stay slim.

Mademetoxic · 15/10/2025 09:49

DrowningInSyrup · 15/10/2025 09:43

How have you been attacked? How do you know these people don't work because of anxiety and do you see what their lives are like day in day out. I assume they are people you see every day and have daily access into their homes. No one get pip for just saying they are anxious, it will be more than that and backed up by sheafs of medical evidence, and lists of medications and hospital appointments and admissions.

Go on FB and see that the attacks on disabled people every single day, it is relentless, absolutely relentless and some of it is cruel, even about those who are severely impaired. Nobody attacks you because you mention a friend of a friend who claims benefits fraudulently, but the constant spite towards the disabled is bound to make people defensive.

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Yes I do know people who are taking the piss. For sure. I see them regularly enough to know that they can work.

pictoosh · 15/10/2025 09:49

People who use balloon arches are balloons themselves. They look crap.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 15/10/2025 09:51

I wish my elderly pain-in-the-arse miserable mother would die so I could inherit her (huge amount of) money and not have to work again.
And also not have to listen to how poor/hard up/being robbed by Kier Starmer she is again, while wiping her tears with her hundreds of 1000s in savings.

Mademetoxic · 15/10/2025 09:53

BunnyLake · 15/10/2025 09:45

I have a very painful chronic back pain issue but I still go out and about, carry shopping etc. People can’t see the amount of pain I’m in when I’m doing these things but if they could feel what I feel it would silence them immediately.

Edited

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There are definitely genuine people out there, but mumsnet doesn't like to hear that people take the piss with these things.

ChessBess · 15/10/2025 09:53

BunnyLake · 15/10/2025 09:41

I stand by the fact I wouldn’t judge someone for losing weight through the jabs. I still don’t understand why you would though or why you likened it to people taking performance enhancing steriods.

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It’s relative to the thread. It’s something I wouldn’t say in real life in the same way people have talked about benefits being to available, too many ND people getting diagnosed, too many immigrants etc etc… (Not my opinions!)

We all have options that will upset others if they knew. I don’t believe those arguing with me on here are all as pure as they are making out. I bet you all have opinions that I think could be considered harsh…

KimTheresPeopleThatAreDying · 15/10/2025 09:54

BeanQuisine · 15/10/2025 00:27

ChessBess says:

Using fat jabs is cheating

I've never really understood this claim. Given that losing weight is not normally some kind of game or sport, or a contract between multiple parties, how can the concept of "cheating" be relevant?

Being fat is seen as a moral failing. Probably goes back to the days when food was scarce: if you were perceived to be overeating when others in your community were literally starving, you were a bad person.

We haven’t shed that idea. There’s a perception that you need to suffer and do penance for your indulgence.

Nowadays there’s an “obesity crisis” and fat people are seen as creating unnecessary strain on the NHS.

So if there’s a way that someone can lose excess weight easily, without suffering, then it’s seen as “cheating”, because they aren’t paying the appropriate price.

MermaidMummy06 · 15/10/2025 09:54

Fionasapples · 15/10/2025 00:18

My best friend is a really lovely person but she makes the most awful cakes. I don't like sweet/sickly cake and as well as being extra sweet and as heavy as bricks, she covers her cakes in thick, sickly buttercream. It makes me feel ill

I've had similar with two friends, but coffee. They thought they were brilliant. They'd watch me drink and wait for me to praise them. The coffee was awful. One made it barely lukewarm and the other so weak I couldn't taste the coffee!

I started saying I'd cut down on coffee to avoid it!

Fantomflangeflinger · 15/10/2025 09:55

Jtfrtj · 15/10/2025 01:18

I am naturally skinny and would struggle to put weight on if I tried, I would have to eat an overwhelming amount of food and barely move day to day. I think most fat people make excuses for their weight, when most of the time it boils down to laziness and lack of self discipline with food. The ones who admit this and don’t care, you have to respect. But the ones who don’t take accountability are tiring to listen to. Just own it. The average UK dress size for a woman is now a size 14, this highlights how deluded we have become to what is considered a healthy weight. And people will defend to the death and scream that a size 14 is not big. It might not be obese but it’s not healthy and slim either.

I am from a country where fast food didn’t exist growing up, we did not have takeaways. Just simplistic veg and meat. The majority of the population is slim, even through our middle and old age.

It really isn’t rocket science.

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Yes diet plays a part for sure.

Some nationalities do not put on as much fat as others, eating the same foods. I saw a program on it.

However I have an unlucky bone structure where my shoulders and hips are wide but I have virtually no fat on them. I just look bigger than I weigh. Wider rib cage. I can only stay at size 12 by eating 1000-1200 calories a day. If I ate more normally then I would be a size 14. I could not physically be less than a 12 as my bones are that big in measurement. I was a size 10 in primary school.

It feels unfair as I am low carb and try hard.

blankcanvas3 · 15/10/2025 09:56

I reported my SIL to social services.

ThatCyanCat · 15/10/2025 09:56

ChessBess · 15/10/2025 09:47

Well that’s a bit silly isn’t it? How’s making myself obese going to enhance my life? It don’t happen overnight…

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So which is it? Either people on weight loss jabs get to cheat and eat as they like and stay slim and it's really enviable, or it's actually so shit you don't want to do it yourself!

ThatCyanCat · 15/10/2025 09:57

ChessBess · 15/10/2025 09:42

What?

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What is it you don't understand?

ChessBess · 15/10/2025 09:57

JHound · 15/10/2025 09:45

You don't really know a lot about this topic.

And that's fine.

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What? Because I’m not delusional by believing obesity has nothing to do with eating too many calories….

DorsetCafes · 15/10/2025 09:58

@Opal888 Why?

LivingwithHopenowandforever · 15/10/2025 10:00

Reallyneedsaholiday · 14/10/2025 21:51

I wasn't in love with my husband when we got married.

And now?

IsSpringSprangedYet · 15/10/2025 10:01

LillyPJ · 14/10/2025 23:08

I think I wasn't a very good mother. I'm sure I could have done better.

Same here, except mine are teens/pre-teen/primary age. I don't think I'm a good mum. I love them and show them but circumstances make practical life very hard (money etc). I'm worried they'll prefer their in laws.

Also, I'm sorry to the posters whose mothers are shits. I can't ever imagine thinking, let alone telling my kids some of the things I've read on here. I hope you all manage to heal in some way