Inheritance

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Inspired by a currently active thread, surely there must be some MNetters out there who haven't inherited anything from grandparents or parents? DF is still alive - I'm pretty sure DM, who passed away a couple of years ago, left everything to him, and I'm not holding out for any inheritance from DF as I feel it is safer to assume any assets could well be eaten up by care home fees or any unexpected events. I inherited nothing from any grandparents. Yes, you bet I am jealous of those who have been more fortunate than I in this area! Is it just a Mumsnet thing where people expect to, or have received, an inheritance?

People who say “i inherited loads but I’d rather have that person” don’t seem to get that the vast majority of people will watch their parents die.

No – the vast majority of people don't have to watch their parents die young, which is when that sentiment is said 99% of the time.

My DM spent the last three years of her life in a care home where she died aged 93 - she had dementia and my sibling and I had had a long period of caring for her since her at home. We inherited a substantial amount. I can’t in all honesty say I’d rather still have DM, her death was a release and it felt as though she herself had decided it was time to go. I’m glad she is at peace.

Probably better to plan for your own extended care provision.

unfortunately, even if you do get one in the pipeline, Labour have their eyes on it!!

Exactly what happened to me.

Exdh really believed he would inherit from his parents.
I tried to warn him that he wouldn’t because in his family the tradition was that only the eldest son inherited.

Both his mother and father assured him that what I was saying was simply not true and fil stated that both mil and him had not left him out of any wills. Apparently I was talking nonsense

Apparently I was not talking nonsense and me being right all along and him realising that both his parents and brother had lied to him. And other things I had pointed out over the time we were together that didn’t add up or were put right lies. It might have not been the only thing to tip him over the edge but it certainly didn’t help. I would go as far as to say it ended our marriage.

I think exh hated me for being right again and seeing through his parents carefully crafted facade of happy families.

I am very cynical of people who say they are leaving things to adult children and that grandchildren will get given money from their parents and then when the parents die they will get everything

Just be truthful. You aren’t leaving anything to your grandchildren. The parents aren’t guaranteed to leave anything to their own children. You have to be happy that your gc will end up with nothing.

I don't know anyone who hasn't inherited something, no.

People talk a lot about care home fees. In practice quite a low proportion of people end up paying them. Most people will receive some inheritance. Both my parents dropped dead while relatively young and never needed care. I did receive an inheritance.

My parents have some savings from downsizing last year, but I am encouraging them to spend that while they are still here. If they don't then it will go on care home fees, I can't imagine me or DB will see any of it- nor are we expecting to.

I think people used to receive inheritance more often, partly as people had more money to leave and party because we didn't have the medical inteferences we do now that keep people alive for much longer but needing care. That unfortunately costs money.

Nice? I suspect they don't have a choice

Absolutely! See Middlemarch et al too.

People used to spend years toadying to aged aunts or drifting around not knuckling down to a job because they had great expectations .

Frankly we had reasonable expectations of the pil, especially as they were very very stingy. However, dementia intervened. I always snort at the posters who trumpet “I would never put my parents in a home.” Dementia is not being a big dotty. It can mean double incontinence, anger, violence, not following 24-hour-clock and is not necessarily life limiting. A friend’s df lived for 17 years in a care home.

How mean of him. If he does leave everything to your brother, would you contest the will?

I didn't inherit anything from my grandparents. One set didn't have anything to leave to us. The others left it, quite rightly in my book, to one of my aunties who had given up her job to look after both her parents as they gradually became more in need of care.
I don't expect to inherit anything from my own parents as I disagreed with them about granny's will!

Most parents would want their children to receive an inheritance imo

No, none of us inherited anything. My sister got half of the house after our grandma died. I'm not likely to inherit anything for a long, long time, if at all. If it happens, I'll probably be too old to enjoy it really.

then they need to save a lot more money when they are younger then

you can’t always get what you want

Nope - I'm comfortable and it's his money, he can do whatever he wants with it

The prospect of inheriting does strange things to some people.

I had a distant relative who I have ended up looking after for the last few years of her life. Fortunately she had a decent pension and until the last few months was able to pay for much of her care out of income, while I did a lot unpaid too in the years leading up to that. She lived very frugally in a small rented bed-sit, and gave the distinct impression she wasn't particularly well off.

This relative also had a niece (much closer in terms of blood line and intestacy rules) who had initially been quite involved. But one day, the niece found a bank statement showing that I was a joint signatory on the account. It didn't have much in - couple of thousand quid at most - but the niece went berserk, pointing out it would automatically become mine on death. We had done it simply because I was doing a lot of the shopping etc and it was a quick and dirty workaround until we got all the POA stuff sorted.

The niece went NC. What she didn't know was that I was also managing the elderly relative's investment portfolio, and there were several other savings accounts too. The relative was worth just over £0.5m when she died in the summer. The niece is named in the will, but was so effective at cutting off ties that I can't actually find her to distribute what will be a decent six figure sum once I get probate!

Why would she have any reason to contest the will?

Theoretically I will inherit a lot from my parents when they die but if they need care I will inherit nothing. My children however will inherit a considerable amount from other family which is lovely but no one seems to be taking anything for granted there either. So lovely if it happens but just get on with moving on in careers is our attitude, don't rely on something nebulous.

Because she had cared for her father?

I’m from a poor background and was orphaned at 18-I left my council house with a suitcase of clothes and that was it. I’ve never had any inheritance-but am glad I can leave my kids something when I die. I have no intention of going into a care home. My dh is from a large family and his parents have a modest house so his inheritance won’t be big. I do get pangs of jealousy sometimes when I see friends and their second homes and cruises-and their kids who don’t really have to work very hard but who will be far richer than mine will ever be. But then I give my head a wobble and thank the Lord we’re healthy, we can afford nice food and that my kids have grown up to be good people who seem to be dealing well with life.

I’m approaching 40, I’ve never received an inheritance. I never knew my paternal grandparents or my maternal grandmother. My maternal grandfather remarried in later life to a bit of a horrorbag woman with a scumbag son who basically manipulated wills and trusts to ensure he completely ripped off my family so my mother and her siblings received nothing from their father.

I may well inherit from my parents one day but who knows.

Then I see people around me inheriting large amounts from grandparents, even family friends! It’s an odd one really and it can leave you feeling a little bitter, how that sum of money could really help.

Well that doesn't entitled you to an inheritance. It's not pay per care

I’m surrounded by people who will very likely get varying sums of money. I will inherit nothing. It does make me a little envious when the same people haven’t had to pay their own university fees etc. Money helps with many many situations. Never mind… on we struggle!

I don’t understand why dgc should inherit.
Any money I leave will go to my dc.
I love my dgc very much and I feel confident that their parents will help them if and when necessary.
My responsibility is to leave money to my dc to make up for any part of their childhood when we had to scrimp and they didn’t get my time as I was busy working.
My dc will, imo, have a similar responsibility to their own dc.