Inheritance

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Inspired by a currently active thread, surely there must be some MNetters out there who haven't inherited anything from grandparents or parents? DF is still alive - I'm pretty sure DM, who passed away a couple of years ago, left everything to him, and I'm not holding out for any inheritance from DF as I feel it is safer to assume any assets could well be eaten up by care home fees or any unexpected events. I inherited nothing from any grandparents. Yes, you bet I am jealous of those who have been more fortunate than I in this area! Is it just a Mumsnet thing where people expect to, or have received, an inheritance?

I know! I was adopted, my grandad died when he was 68, I was 19 and at uni. My grandmother then died when I was 26 and studying professional exams. My beautiful aunt then died the following year, she was only 33.

None left inheritances. My aunts DC were very young at the time. I can absolutely guarantee if they had the option of inheritance or their mum back they would choose their mum. But those are not the choices. I also know it would have made their lives and her DHs life a lot easier if there was some big inheritance

Believe me, take nothing for granted. Expect nothing. I have seen so many fights and bitterness about wills among my friends, it’s really not worth it.

I have inherited nothing despite having grandparents and great grandparents who were multi millionaires (family estrangement).

DH’s parents were asset rich but transferred inherited property (legally tax free) to older son and took out an equity loan on their other house which will wipe everything else out.

I have one living parent, but I imagine her assets probs about £100k, will be eaten up by end of life care. She has made a will to leave to me and my sibling equally - but my sibling lives overseas and has no pension, due to poor planning, so feel pressured to let her have the lot (if anything!). If I do inherit, I will pass it straight on to my DC.

@Allseeingallknowing I'll be amazed if he doesn't spend every penny, whether on care fees or general crap.

I think it’s a natural to expect an inheritance, if there’s one in the horizon. Illogical in a way because the only things guaranteed in life are that one day it will be over and we have to pay tax, but I can relate to the expectation. I won’t be devastated if the small inheritance doesn’t happen - I’m half expecting my DM to leave everything to either a dog’s home or her precious favourite child who’s never got his life together. It’s best not to focus about it but it’s always at the back of my mind.

Hi there! Billionaires :) Hope that helps!

Yip, a relative moved in with their DM 15 yrs before the DM died. Took on all the upkeep costs of the house. Then cared for the DM in her final years when she lost her mobility. The estate was to be spilt evenly between 2 siblings. Unfortunately the other sibling has now made accusations of all sorts of theft & financial abuse. Just because they are greedy & want more than their share. Really does bring out the worst in some people.

Is this true? I know care fees are a potential worry but haven't seen data on what proportion of people use up all their assets on them.

My mother died last year. I inherited £10k and a box of old family bits and pieces - documents, photographs, a few letters etc. Including this one, written by my great great great great grandmother in 1862, addressed ‘To my children when I am no more’, and which implores her children not to squabble about their inheritance!

”My Dear Children,

The subject I am now writing has often engaged my thoughts - and that is if I should be so fortunate as to be very happy when I leave this world - it would increase that happiness to know that you were all living at peace and in harmony with one another. I hope no one will be dissatisfied about the fifty pounds that was given to the three that were first married - more than twenty years ago. Your father saw that he had made a mistake and acknowledged it by making a codicil to his will, which did not get signatures put to it - unfortunately - as that would have settled all disputes and I hope you will see that as clearly as if it had been done.

Mary I will say nothing about more than that she lived at home for years deriving all the advantage by paying a trifling acknowledgment. Phebe had two years in France at school which cost more than one hundred pounds therefore she cannot with any degree of propriety say anything about the £50 as she had more than £100 and for Elizabeth I hope that she would think that she had had the value of £50 many times over during the last fifteen years as she lived free of expense for board, washing and lodgings.

There is always a great deal of anxiety and labour for executors. I should wish for Marmaduke to have as little trouble as you can possibly give him and let all things be done quietly and I should wish you to decide the things amongst you, let everyone take a share, not to forget James’s children - if there was any thing to sell when you had all taken what you wish you could let them have an equivalent of the money which this remainder was sold for.

I have set you an example of striving to be at peace and I hope you will all do the same for your children, and as God has blessed me with long life and enough for the necessary comforts of life in my old age I hope he will also bless you and that you will have the kind attention and love from them your children that you and they have given to me. Impress on their minds their Duty to God and to avoid Evil.

I hope God will bless and prosper you is the sincere wish of your affectionate Mother.

Part of the issue is that people are expecting ever greater levels of benefits and services, but no one wants to pay for them, and thinks that nebulous groups such as "billionaires" and "the rich" should be paying up.

This is basically what is happening in France at the moment (we are some way behind and somewhat more manageable). The country is running out of money but no one wants to surrender their benefits and thinks someone else should pay.

Needless to say the end point of all this isn't good. Either the government manages the economy prudently to the benefit of all, or the economy eventually collapses. I guess we'll see which one France gets - it might well influence our outcome as well.

I agree that “not wanting to pay for care” isn’t so much not wanting to pay anything - but feeling it is unfair that the person in the next room isn’t paying anything at all. Especially since self-funders pay over the odds to subsidise the people paid for by the council.

And self-funding doesn’t necessarily bring you choice. Mil for example had advanced dementia (she was termed a “screamer”) and consequently the homes that would take her were… well, there was only one in the whole area. You are not going to get in a fancy Thursday Murder Club place if your needs are… challenging.

Funded residents pay their pension minus a pocket money allowance towards their fees.

Generally, if you want an inheritance, then look after your own parents so they don’t have to pay care fees. You cannot expect the taxpayer to fund their care so you can get an inheritance.

It isn’t true, only a small percentage of people go into care.

How could you have contested your dad’s will if you never had contact with him for years? Surely you therefore wouldn’t even want to?

Absolutely.

Unfortunately it isn’t your dad’s money, if they had mirror wills it’s her money.

I didn’t inherit from Grandparents, one side didn’t have anything and the other left her house (rightly) to her 3 children (one of which was my parent). My parent paid off the mortgage on the family home and put in double glazing. I didn’t expect anything.

However my mum has said that although her will splits everything 50/50 with my brother, she expects us to help with a house deposit for our kids (her Grandkids). Obviously that relies on her not needing care and if she does then so be it - that’s what her money is for. We’re comfortable so will be able to help DS with a deposit in any event.

I do feel for posters who lost parents young - that’s must be really hard to deal with.

U less youare in Scotland there's no entitlement to inherit anything fromyour parents full stop. Not sureewhy you think otherwise

Mirror wills means the surviving spouse of a couple gets it.

A passport is only £90, you'd get it quickly and be able to claim the £1000 from the bank. Seems crazy not to.

Not hard? There are various options, some free, some not. Worth it for £1000 surely?

So what do you do about the people who have no money? What's the solution?

I never expected any inheritance and built my life on the basis that DM would use her property and inheritance she received for her own old age care. She mad moved in with me for several years after dementia diagnosis which did reduce costs. Did add much as I could then we needed to move to care home stage, super expensive £3800 per month) but very good and DM was happy there. Died very suddenly, saving her from the indignity of further descent into dementia and blindness at least, but I still feel guilty about funds she left behind.

I think only people who've actually been through this inheriting after a loved one has died will understand. Living a life hoping for funds from others after they've died is no life.

Exactly 👏

I haven’t inherited anything….yet. I am very lucky to have all of my grandparents still alive in their late nineties and early hundreds! Both sets have very large houses and lots of savings and haven’t needed any care. I know that their wills all leave everything to each other (in their respective pairs) and then to be split between their grandchildren. My parents are also thankfully still alive and are multi millionaires.

So although I haven’t inherited, I know that I am highly likely to at some point (but hopefully not soon, as I very much love my grandparents). However my husband and I have received a fairly substantial amount of money from my parents when we bought our property. I think my father felt that it was hard for us as we hadn’t inherited any money by the time we were buying our second property. My husband is unlikely to inherit anything - his grandparents are all dead and left everything to their children. His parents have a bungalow and a small amount of savings however I would almost anticipate them both needing to go into a care home at some point as they have long term degenerative conditions. He also has multiple siblings where I only have 1.