Page 12 | Inheritance

realsavagelike · 2025-10-13T23:21:03+00:00

Inspired by a currently active thread, surely there must be some MNetters out there who haven't inherited anything from grandparents or parents? DF is still alive - I'm pretty sure DM, who passed away a couple of years ago, left everything to him, and I'm not holding out for any inheritance from DF as I feel it is safer to assume any assets could well be eaten up by care home fees or any unexpected events. I inherited nothing from any grandparents. Yes, you bet I am jealous of those who have been more fortunate than I in this area! Is it just a Mumsnet thing where people expect to, or have received, an inheritance?

ThatRubyRaven · 14/10/2025 18:30

bridgetreilly · 14/10/2025 03:35

Of course it’s not a MN thing to get some inheritance! The amounts will vary massively, but most people will get something from their parents, and many will get something from grandparents. Personally, I also got a very unexpected two grand from an uncle.

Most people. Oh, Bridget 😅

Jazzicatz · 14/10/2025 18:49

I have not inherited anything and won’t in the future. My grandparents left nothing and nor will my mum. I don’t really feel bitter about it, what’s the point, it won’t change the situation.

LadyRunner · 14/10/2025 18:57

Not a nice way to refer to her

Allseeingallknowing · 14/10/2025 19:07

LadyRunner · 14/10/2025 18:57

Not a nice way to refer to her

Who are you replying to?

justgetonwithitmum · 14/10/2025 19:11

I won't get any inheritance when my mum dies as she does not own property and has no savings. In fact, I will need to pay for her funeral as she has made provisions for it.

anyolddinosaur · 14/10/2025 19:11

@DoAWheelie https://www.gov.uk/apply-for-photo-id-voter-authority-certificate

Free photo ID. - get it and claim your money.

I said we didnt inherit much - nothing from grandparents as they had nothing to leave, dh's sister did her best to ensure he got nothing from any other relative but he got just over £1000. My last parent left me a few hundred and I gave it away to other relatives.

Our kid's been spoilt all their life so had their flat deposit and grandkid has had 9k so far to help with first year of accommodation when they leave home.

Putneydad7 · 14/10/2025 19:42

About 6/7 years ago, my eldest son who was about 12 at the time was in the car with me and he asked who my money would go to if I died, I said "your mother". He then asked "what if you both died?", I replied that it would be divided between you and your siblings. He did a celebratory fist pump and said "YES!!".
I said wait a minute, "your grandad is 76 and he hasn't had his inheritance yet" (his mother was alive at 98yrs). Little crestfallen face, bless.

nodramamama · 14/10/2025 20:09

FlatfacedCattypuss · 14/10/2025 15:02

My mother died last year. I inherited £10k and a box of old family bits and pieces - documents, photographs, a few letters etc. Including this one, written by my great great great great grandmother in 1862, addressed ‘To my children when I am no more’, and which implores her children not to squabble about their inheritance!

”My Dear Children,

The subject I am now writing has often engaged my thoughts - and that is if I should be so fortunate as to be very happy when I leave this world - it would increase that happiness to know that you were all living at peace and in harmony with one another. I hope no one will be dissatisfied about the fifty pounds that was given to the three that were first married - more than twenty years ago. Your father saw that he had made a mistake and acknowledged it by making a codicil to his will, which did not get signatures put to it - unfortunately - as that would have settled all disputes and I hope you will see that as clearly as if it had been done.

Mary I will say nothing about more than that she lived at home for years deriving all the advantage by paying a trifling acknowledgment. Phebe had two years in France at school which cost more than one hundred pounds therefore she cannot with any degree of propriety say anything about the £50 as she had more than £100 and for Elizabeth I hope that she would think that she had had the value of £50 many times over during the last fifteen years as she lived free of expense for board, washing and lodgings.

There is always a great deal of anxiety and labour for executors. I should wish for Marmaduke to have as little trouble as you can possibly give him and let all things be done quietly and I should wish you to decide the things amongst you, let everyone take a share, not to forget James’s children - if there was any thing to sell when you had all taken what you wish you could let them have an equivalent of the money which this remainder was sold for.

I have set you an example of striving to be at peace and I hope you will all do the same for your children, and as God has blessed me with long life and enough for the necessary comforts of life in my old age I hope he will also bless you and that you will have the kind attention and love from them your children that you and they have given to me. Impress on their minds their Duty to God and to avoid Evil.

I hope God will bless and prosper you is the sincere wish of your affectionate Mother.

This is brilliant thank you for sharing it. I've got similar from my great great grandad and it details things like a watch, a vase, money for grandchildren. It also stated to "keep the nosey parkers outside" when the will was read - a reference to his wife's sisters lol

Shamrockshirley · 14/10/2025 20:18

OneDearWasp · 14/10/2025 14:54

Is this true? I know care fees are a potential worry but haven't seen data on what proportion of people use up all their assets on them.

Show quote history

Yes it is. It’s so foolish to bank on getting a penny. And to those questioning the maths, 25% chance of having a parent in a care home long enough to drain all
their money, 2 parents, 50% chance of one of them getting ill and taking up all family funds. Stats are different with divorced parents obviously. It’s honestly not worth worrying about inheritance when there could easily be nothing to inherit at all.

YourPeppyAmberTraybake · 14/10/2025 20:28

Shamrockshirley · 14/10/2025 20:18

Yes it is. It’s so foolish to bank on getting a penny. And to those questioning the maths, 25% chance of having a parent in a care home long enough to drain all
their money, 2 parents, 50% chance of one of them getting ill and taking up all family funds. Stats are different with divorced parents obviously. It’s honestly not worth worrying about inheritance when there could easily be nothing to inherit at all.

Show quote history

I don’t understand these figures.

curiositykilledthiscat · 14/10/2025 20:33

Shamrockshirley · 14/10/2025 20:18

Yes it is. It’s so foolish to bank on getting a penny. And to those questioning the maths, 25% chance of having a parent in a care home long enough to drain all
their money, 2 parents, 50% chance of one of them getting ill and taking up all family funds. Stats are different with divorced parents obviously. It’s honestly not worth worrying about inheritance when there could easily be nothing to inherit at all.

Show quote history

You are completely wrong. At least in terms of stats in the UK.

robinslittlehelper · 14/10/2025 21:02

I would like to point out that in Scotland a child can claim against a parent's will even if they are cut out of it . They can claim a share of the movable estate so this does not include a house . This is known as " the bairn`s share " . I have seen this done and I thought it was a real shame that these offspring got money that was not meant for them .

MarieAntoinetteQueenOfFrance · 14/10/2025 21:28

cupfinalchaos · 14/10/2025 16:23

How could you have contested your dad’s will if you never had contact with him for years? Surely you therefore wouldn’t even want to?

Show quote history

Because my dad / I am not British. In my home country inheritance laws are very different and it is near impossible to disinherit children. They have a right to a % of the estate.

Moel · 14/10/2025 21:39

MaturingCheeseball · 14/10/2025 16:12

I agree that “not wanting to pay for care” isn’t so much not wanting to pay anything - but feeling it is unfair that the person in the next room isn’t paying anything at all. Especially since self-funders pay over the odds to subsidise the people paid for by the council.

And self-funding doesn’t necessarily bring you choice. Mil for example had advanced dementia (she was termed a “screamer”) and consequently the homes that would take her were… well, there was only one in the whole area. You are not going to get in a fancy Thursday Murder Club place if your needs are… challenging.

Yes, absolutely this. Agree with all of the points you make.

plus as someone has already pointed out, it is one thing spending your own money on your own care, another being compelled to leave
your money to your partner to pay for THEIR care.

my parents altered their tenancy to tenants in common ten years before one of them passed away. I am mid 50s. I will do the same when I retire.

My surviving parent pays a lot for at home care. Someone referred to it upthread like it is a cheap option which it can be if you need the odd hour but once it starts to ramp up, you can spend as much per month as a care home once you factor in other household costs. they don’t want a care home however I’ve sacrificed a huge amount of time, emotion and energy to sustain them for almost a decade now. Should I need to I would spend the 50% of the house held in trust for me on the remaining parent. No issue. However, if the home they were in was one the council would pay into honestly, I’d be thinking why should I? My parents were ultra frugal, I had a tough childhood, I’ve had a tough time caring for them, they went to some lengths to arrange the wills and express their wish that their share was spent only on their care…

JaceLancs · 14/10/2025 21:40

I have not had any inheritance
My grandparents left everything to my parents
DF left it to DM who is still alive albeit with dementia ( currently has home care and we as family also do quite a lot ) and I’m sure it will all go in nursing home fees eventually

Allseeingallknowing · 14/10/2025 21:44

robinslittlehelper · 14/10/2025 21:02

I would like to point out that in Scotland a child can claim against a parent's will even if they are cut out of it . They can claim a share of the movable estate so this does not include a house . This is known as " the bairn`s share " . I have seen this done and I thought it was a real shame that these offspring got money that was not meant for them .

In Spain a third goes to the children, third to spouse , remaining third to whoever they wish, so ex pats are advised to make a sure their will says their assets will be distributed as per English law.

LouiseK93 · 14/10/2025 21:55

SouthernNights59 · 14/10/2025 02:41

But who should have paid for your dad's care if not him? An inheritance isn't a right, and if someone needs care and has money to cover it then it should be used for that. I did inherit a little from my parents and it would have been an awful lot more if they hadn't needed care but I don't begrudge the money being spent on that as it was a huge load off my mind.

Show quote history

But to work your whole life, just for it to go back into overpriced care and not my children, would devastated me.

Jimbo5000 · 14/10/2025 21:57

My grandparents died leaving everything to my mum. My mum then died unexpectedly shortly afterwards and everything went to her horrible abusive husband. He’s made it clear that when he dies everything will go to his kids.

And yes. I am bitter.

Moel · 14/10/2025 22:14

Jimbo5000 · 14/10/2025 21:57

My grandparents died leaving everything to my mum. My mum then died unexpectedly shortly afterwards and everything went to her horrible abusive husband. He’s made it clear that when he dies everything will go to his kids.

And yes. I am bitter.

Yes. I don’t blame you. A friend had similar happen though the loss wasn’t unexpected. Didn’t get so much as a family photo. Wife, in this case was quick to claim that no one has the right to inherit which is true but quite rich coming from a person sitting on a large inheritance that will pass to her kid.

Linnet · 14/10/2025 22:18

I didn’t inherit anything from my grandparents as they didn’t have anything money or asset wise to leave. I did get the family photos when my granny died and a few other things from her house. I also inherited some money when my mum died although she rented so there was no property.

My dh got a little bit of money when his granny died but nothing from the other 3 grandparents, possibly his parents did though.

Dh has inherited from his dad, or at least he should do when his dad’s wife dies. But that could be 20yrs from now and Dh will be in his 70’s by that point so it’s not something he’s counting on. We’re pretty sure though that he’ll probably end up with either very little or nothing at all because if his dad’s wife can prevent him from inheriting anything she will. She hasn’t given him anything of his dads to remember him by either, no family photos or anything. So we don’t hold out much hope of him getting anything.

Putneydad7 · 15/10/2025 00:17

Sugargliderwombat · 14/10/2025 14:24

Hi there! Billionaires :) Hope that helps!

Show quote history

I think that’s the current government’s answer to everything. Spoiler alert the billionaires already pay a lot and guess what, if you make them pay more, they’ll bugger off to Monaco and pay nothing. Then we will also have to cough up for what they were originally paying. Lunacy

Putneydad7 · 15/10/2025 00:26

Allseeingallknowing · 14/10/2025 12:29

I think there should be something like insurance packages available for care home fees, plus the fees capped, so that children don’t have their inheritance wiped out. The Tories were going to do this and it got kicked into the long grass.

The premiums would be ferocious and no one would pay otherwise it would exist. You probably have about a 25% chance of needing long term care at a cost of low six figures. Can you imagine what the premiums would be? The tories kicked it into the long grass when even they, the pensioner’s party realised it was completely unaffordable.

FairKoala · 15/10/2025 00:58

robinslittlehelper · 14/10/2025 21:02

I would like to point out that in Scotland a child can claim against a parent's will even if they are cut out of it . They can claim a share of the movable estate so this does not include a house . This is known as " the bairn`s share " . I have seen this done and I thought it was a real shame that these offspring got money that was not meant for them .

Why shouldn’t be meant for them.

Wish it was the law in England. Although I always knew I wouldn’t receive a penny from my mother who told people that I would inherit everything. I think she actually did believe it at some point. Unfortunately I had seen her will and I was definitely not mentioned

RubySquid · 15/10/2025 03:13

Moel · 14/10/2025 22:14

Yes. I don’t blame you. A friend had similar happen though the loss wasn’t unexpected. Didn’t get so much as a family photo. Wife, in this case was quick to claim that no one has the right to inherit which is true but quite rich coming from a person sitting on a large inheritance that will pass to her kid.

Show quote history

This is why when people remarry it's necessary to re do a will to prevent this kind of thing happeninh

Luddite26 · 15/10/2025 06:42

LouiseK93 · 14/10/2025 21:55

But to work your whole life, just for it to go back into overpriced care and not my children, would devastated me.

Show quote history

Well your kids could always do your care cheaply and inherit the lot.