To think is kinda rude of a friend to arrangement something to just ask us if we can host it?

[Meowmeowgirl]

lets call our guy friend «nick»

So me and my SO are the first people in our group to have our own place while nick and jenny still lives with their parents, so we host some parties trough the years like 7-8 parties in a year when we feel like it. So one friend in our group «nick» asked me if ive seen that or that movie trough chat and i said yea long ago and then he said «jenny apperently haven’t seen that movie so i was considering about setting a movie night a day and i can make pizza!», jenny is my friend and our nicks friend. And me and my SO tought «oh how nice to be invited to movie night and some good pizza!». So i replied with «that sounds nice! Me and SO can bring some snacks!» until he replied with..

« i was thinking about asking if you and henry «my So» can have it at your place, we can have some alcohol, some good food and some snacks» i was a bit shocked since i tought he was telling us he was hosting a movie night at his place. I prob know he didn’t mean it in a bad way but i tought it was a bit weird, epsecially since he worded with «i considered about setting a movie night» like in my head this means «hey im having a movie night with pizza at my place! You guys in!?» not «hey im gonna host something at your place! You in?» our home is not a local that can be booked, i tought it was kinda cheeky. Because we be the ones clenaing dishes and all of that in the end. I think he was a bit bad with his wording, i haven’t replied yet, my So also tought that he was inviting us over. We where interested until we where expected to host.

I strongly suspect that Nick has no idea about the need for pre and post-party cleaning and prep, or any real commitment to provide this, because he never does it. He probably imagines that tidy, welcoming houses just happen by magic.

Someone is off school today. In a club and now having parties! That isn't adult life chick. You need to crack on with your homework.

@Slightyamusedandsilly and u need to be off screen and touch some grass these school memes are getting old bud

If you don’t fancy it then just say it straight! 7-8 parties a year, I hope you have deaf neighbours 🫣

You sound like a bloody Reform candidate nice!

English isn't the first language for everyone.

OP you have been given lots of good responses earlier in the thread. Just nip it in the bud now. It sounds like not only does he want to use your home to host his girlfriend and watch a movie you have already seen, but he also expects you to act like his personal taxi service. Next he'll be asking you and your partner to make yourselves scarce so they can have the place to themselves for a bit 😁

"Sorry, we misunderstood, your original message sounded like you were inviting us, we're not able to host this time, plus we've already seen the movie. Enjoy watching it with ...., hope to catch up soon"

The fact you had his birthday party for him has obviously given him the idea yoh are happy to host for him again!

Me and DH were the first in our friendship group to have our own home. We always hosted and didn't have any issue with it, it just made sense. Why would you think your friend was hosting at his parents? Do you go to his house and sit in his bedroom? I just couldn't imagine doing that when I could have hosted at my house.

Oh please don't let him get away with this!

Notice how he didn't even say he would bring the drinks! I bet you'll expect you to pick up some or most of the costs.

I would just tell him that you think it's someone else's turn to host, as you and SO have hosted the last few times.

I sympathise with you, my sibling tries to pull this shit, get me to host and pay and then tries to take the credit with family

Why would OP think she would be hosting when someone invites her?

Let's see how good you are at writing in OP's mother tongue.

The xenophobia on MN is getting worse.

This.

@Meowmeowgirl Just tell them no.

.

Just say no, sorry, I thought you were inviting us somewhere. I don't want to host an event for someone else unless I offer.

I think you need to be that blunt and very clear as you mention he seems to lack social skills so he's either oblivious or very thick skinned and might end up pushing back otherwise.

My SIL used to do stuff like that. One year she asked if she could come to ours on the evening of Christmas day. We said not sure as we might be at my parents or if at home we'll just want to veg by then. She said oh no I've already invited everyone. Turned out she actually wanted to host a party for her friends in our house. When we said no she asked asked if we could go to my parents as it would be "even more convenient" if we weren't there! She got a firm NO but acted like we were really unreasonable. She did have her own flat but apparently our house was nicer and she couldn't be bothered to tidy up. I expect she would have left us with the clearing up afterwards too ... She tried to do it again a couple of years later.

This.

Cant really improve on it!

YANBU similar happened to me. I hosted a few parties and quickly became the default party house. I've since had to stop all hosting. I had people asking if I could host their kids birthday. Its much more effort than people think not to mention cost and the clean up after. In saying that I don't think your friend meant to offend. Probably just thought it was a good idea.

What they said 👆.

who are all these people who don't like people 'using' their kitchens? This all seems like a lot of angst over a a couple getting together with two friends to watch a movie and eat homemade pizza?

Great ideas above on how to say NO clearly..I've only heard this happen once before & it was a friend of my daughter who thought we had a better "party house" so wanted it at ours...even my 16 yr old daughter was miffed, said no & thought it was a cheeky before she even asked me!
🤣

And yet so many people appear to be coping perfectly well.

No. This is not ok. Stop this now before it becomes a pattern. Say you are happy to go to the cinema to see a new film as you’ve already seen the film anyway.

This @Meowmeowgirl

“Oh! I thought you were inviting us to yours! Haha. Unfortunately no, we can’t host round here. We’ve done so much hosting recently so fancy a break from it for a while.”

done.

@Welshmonster yea i have replied to him that to «like what about cinmea? Maybe they have som scary movies there and we can grab someting to eat at a restaurant before that?, long time we been to the cinmeas here»

Good! Did he reply?

I would have no problem at all with a friend who lived with parents asking to come over for pizza and a film one night.

"Ha ha, nice try, no" just about covers it.