To go on holiday without kids?

[Toskiornottoskii]

I want to go skiing. Really as a family. Problem is DP doesn’t ski yet. Kids would be just turned 1 and just turned 4 in spring. So they would just be in ski crèche.

My latest idea is to do a 4 day midweek break. Leave the kids with grandparents. DP can learn how to ski.

This is potentially not the best for 1 yo. But would be heaven for the 4 year old.

If we wait until next year then we have reception/ school to contest with and I feel like we should be at home then as I don’t want grandparents having to get eldest to school.

Is this a bonkers idea?

I’m over to the holiday board now if anyone wishes to recommend anywhere. Thanks everyone 😊

What a lovely typical mumsnet thread.

Young mums vs older mums
at home mums vs career mums
Martyr mums vs mums who decides to sometimes* *live life for themselves

Mums slagging mums - just a beautiful wholesome thread!

I haven’t read all the comments but have the mums vs childfree women been thrown into the mix yet??

Still time for three DC bashing too.

I don’t think what you want to do is going to fix the problem that you think you have.

My husband skis. My children both ski. I don’t ski, can’t ski and am terrified of skiing.

Actually semi lie. I CAN ski, but I’m too scared to actually ski.

However, we have had some AMAZING ski holidays! He skis with the kids now they’re older (has skied with the eldest since he was 7 ish), and I was always there to do the ski school drop off/lunches etc with the youngest, would meet on the mountain for drinks and lunch and honestly we all loved it.

He tried really hard to get me happily skiing but eventually admitted it just isn’t for me. It’s never stopped the holidays being enjoyable, but he thought it would be more enjoyable for me if I was out skiing. It wasn’t. Ski holidays are my favourite holidays, even without actually skiing!

I think you should just go as a family - you’ve got a perfect babysitter in your husband while you go off and ski, and he can learn if he wants to and utilise ski crèche and ski school.

You’re talking about a situation where the majority of the family ski, so it’s probably not massively more expensive for you to tag along and not sli

Whereas schlepping DH and young kids on the trip just for DH to babysit would be daft. And why pay for crocheted if you’ve got GP happy to babysit, much less unsettling for the small ones

Either OP should go on a solo trip if her DH doesn’t want to try it out, ot take the opportunity for DH to give it a go.

If they think they might want to get the DC skiing later on though I would definitely recommend him starting now - kids learn SO fast and are fearless, if you starting learning at the same time as DC you’ll never keep up! Get a head start on them!

But how do you think the children learned to ski? They can ski now because we took them on skiing holidays….We did exactly what OP is worried about doing. Took them from when eldest was 4 and youngest was 8 months and onwards from there. We had some really lovely holidays.

Yes this is my thinking. I am reading about ages for kids to start and most say 5+ is a good age (so they aren’t too tired and pass out in the afternoon).

Some are saying those who started at 6ish are doing reds by the end of the week 😱

I have seen the kids bombing down with their little bandy legs so we both need to be fast and safe if required.

I do think if DP loves it maybe we can go 26/27 season as an extended family and get chalet / share childcare. My sister will have a 1 year old then so that could work. But we need to have some level of proficiency to make the most of that ourselves and DP needs to like the holiday to make peace with the cost side of that during half term 😱 It’s too much cost for a gamble.

Yeah my 10yo had me skiing down mogul-y black runs with him on his second week of skiing, it’s terrifying. I’d be happier just chilling on blue runs myself!

If you can afford that then great - for us we’ve not felt we can justify paying for the whole family to go until we thought the children were old enough to really get a lot out of it and progress quickly.

We started when DC were 6 and 9 and they were competent enough after a few mornings lessons to be on the slopes with us in the afternoon and by our second week our eldest particularly was skiing more or less anything you put in front of him.

I wasn’t prepared to pay ££££ to go skiing and then not actually be skiing half the time, or to be paying to send the DC to crèches/kids clubs.

Get your husband on a dry slope or uk snow slope. Test the waters. Some people hate skiing as non skiing adults

Like I said if you don’t trust the grandparents, or like them or they are bad people then leaving them with them is a bad idea. Sounds like this might your circumstance

if however they are wonderful, loving and doting then crack on.

We did this with our DC before we booked our first week skiing just to test out whether they absolutely detested it or not, to save making an expensive mistake.

I would add though that a slope in the UK (particularly dry slopes) is a really pale imitation to actually being out skiing, and that it's quite hard to get hooked after a couple of hours wobbling about on a nursery slope - at best you might find out whether it's an absolute hard pass and you never ever want to clip on skis ever again.

This is a very much a generalisation - I've found men can sometimes be more reluctant than women to be the novice (I think women are willing to take up sports their partners are experienced in more than men are). So it's worth OP thinking whether her DH is at risk of being put off in those early wobbly days, and if so, the best way to win him over.

QUICK! Someone phone 999 and ask for an IP trace for.potential child neglect, STAT!

🤣🤣🤣

@IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland did you not have great grandparents? We loved holidays with grandparents, never even thought about where our (lovely) parents were. There was fun food, drinks, snacks, cuddles, videos, complete and utter indulgence to play endless repetitive games, treats, new toys, lunch and ice cream out, daytrips followed by gift shops....It was absolute bliss.

OP it's fine and something you want to do to build family plans around in three future.

Because it think children at 10 have reached a certain level of emotional intelligence and independence so are less reliant on parents being around. This is probably why school trips of more than a few days are usually in Year 6 or up.

I don't have biological children, I have 2 stepsons. I'm not in an Ivory Tower, I've simply stated I think going away on holiday without kids is a bit selfish because DH and I would never do this and nobody in my family has ever done this. That's all there was to it really but people have had a meltdown about it.

😉

Every child is different but 10 is generally what I am comfortable with when leaving kids alone.

I think you need to chill out OP and stop trying to force everyone to love skiing.

Imagine if this was a DH trying desperately to get his wife and kids into golf so they could go on really expensive golf holidays together.

I had 2 nans alive when I was born. One died when I was 4. So my memories are with my maternal grandmother who was lovely. She would babysit on occasion. I know I wouldn't have appreciated my parents going away without me as a child though and nor would my siblings, thankfully they never did.

I remember my DM going to visit my DD twice when he worked abroad. My aunt stayed with us, it really wasn’t a thing. My DM had her career, friends, hobbies and interests so it wasn’t odd that she did this.
Another time my parents went to Paris for a long weekend, my DM bought lots of new clothes and I remember them returning with a beautiful painting.
We did lots of lovely things together too, a year is long enough to fit in something for everyone. I think you can be an amazing parent and still take a few days a year for yourself.

Your DH haven't been together since they were born, your DH and you don't have history together pre children, your DH and cannot now revel in the time you get together now the children are old enough to be with grand parents, who will enrich their lives and give them memories.

As for no one in your family ever doing it, so what, you can all sit in martyr corner together!

I personally love my husband, loved him before we had kids and love him now, I cherish our time together!

@CrispsPlease

yeah Op, your life is over now you’re a parent! You cannot expect to do anything for yourself anymore, it has to be all about the kids! You cannot have hobbies anymore. It’s all part and parcel of being a parent.

Forget going with any of them. Kids are too young, DP doesn't ski. Go on a group ski holiday or get a couple of friends together.

I ski with my sister and cousin. They leave their kids and husbands behind for four days and we have an absolute blast.

The thing is you know nothing about the set up or time line of my relationship and I am entitled to an opinion on this subject regardless or having no biological children.

'As for no one in your family ever doing it, so what, you can all sit in martyr corner together!' If I took a shot for every time you said martyr on this thread I'd be fucking shitfaced by now.

'I personally love my husband, loved him before we had kids and love him now, I cherish our time together!' Yes, I suspect most of us do. Not sure what that has got to do with me thinking going on holiday without kids is selfish though.

How do you know how you'd have felt about something you never experienced?