Can't go on WhatsApp

[Cornetti26]

I have been in a relationship for just over 12 months and I am paranoid every time I go on WhatsApp because I will be questioned who I am messaging. For example I'm at home, it's late at night and I have messaged my bf goodnight, my DD has messaged after this and the following morning I'm questioned as to why I was up so late on WhatsApp. AIBU to think this is not normal.

Can I be the first person to say..... ditch him.

No, that’s not normal.
I’m guessing he’s controlling in other ways too?

No it's not and this isn't a relationship I'd want to be in. It's not his place to ask and it seems he is assuming you are messaging other men.

Can I be the second?

Oh FGS

Huge red flag. Please get yourself out of the relationship before his controlling behaviour escalates.

LTB

As someone who was once like your partner/boyfriend/whatever you call him, get out of that relationship NOW.

I have greatly improved on the way that I am, but I was a terrible partner in the past. It's rare that this will ever get better. Please leave

I'll be the sixth. Tell him to get to fuck none of his business who you might be talking to. He either trusts you or he doesn't, if he doesn't no point tying yourself in knots to pander to his nonsense.

RUN.

YABU for even asking.

If you stay in this relationship it will not end well.

Massive red flags. Get out now. He won’t get better.

I think its only when you start to write it you realise how stupid it sounds and think why the fuck am I putting myself though this! And there are other signs of controlling behaviour.

You shouldn't even need to ask this.

That's probably quite common.

I struggle with catastrophisation, but I don't realise how other-worldly everything sounds until I write it down or say it out loud.

You deserve so much better.

It's lunatic behaviour by him and totally unacceptable. You're a grown woman who can stay up til midnight texting whoever the fuck she wants. Why is he even monitoring you.

Tell me if any of these are correct:
Hhe ruins any night out with your friends by sulking/making it so awkward your better off not going.

You no longer contact any male friends because it's not worth the 'risk' of being caught, even though it's innocent.

He makes up his own narrative and argues/sulks over the made up stuff that didn't happen except in his head.

Tell him to stop acting like an insecure teenager and turn your 'last seen' off in settings. If he can't deal with that, you've got your answer.

Firstly, change your settings so it doesn't show when you're online.

Secondy, run a mile. You really need to ask strangers about this???? RUN!!

That's no way to live. I think you are old enough to know this OP.

There is no way I’d ever be with someone who demanded to know who I was messaging every time they saw me online in an evening. That is jealous and controlling to a seriously worrying level. It never gets better.

Don't let anyone stop you from talking to your daughter. Explain you and your daughter communicate via WhatsApp. It is what it is. He can take it or leave it

That's a whole regiment of red flags.
Get out now while you still can

It will get worse, please don’t be like me and stick around thinking things may change.
Also in my situation, everything he accused me of, he was getting up to behind my back.

I knew what this would be about before I opened it. I had this too. He used to say, "did you have a bad night? I noticed you on whatsapp." The galling thing was that it was him doing the cheating! I was usually re-reading our chat too. Get rid of him. I love being able to flick my whatsapp and facebook on whenever I want without a phone call.

It’s a damn parade.

Fuck him off @Cornetti26
Seriously, no one needs a controlling man in their life.