Can't go on WhatsApp

[Cornetti26]

I have been in a relationship for just over 12 months and I am paranoid every time I go on WhatsApp because I will be questioned who I am messaging. For example I'm at home, it's late at night and I have messaged my bf goodnight, my DD has messaged after this and the following morning I'm questioned as to why I was up so late on WhatsApp. AIBU to think this is not normal.

Fuck that.

Make the next time you're on Whatsapp the time you tell him it's over and to not ever contact you again.

I’m not suggesting this as a way to be with him but what about turning your status to private so he cant see when you were last online?

Would that provoke a reaction too?

Suggestion/question aside, he doesn’t come across well at all.

Get yourself out of this relationship. Do a Claire's law application, I bet this isn't his first rodeo.

Of course it’s not normal. It’s controlling and abusive.

How/why does he even know what time you’re on WhatsApp?

Ditto first marriage

Oh FFS get rid immediately.

WhatsApp shows the last time you were online on the app, no idea who thought that was a good idea

You can set WhatsApp to not show when you are/were online.

Do that, but also get rid!!

Oh…thanks. Odd, I can’t see that info anywhere obvious, just when each message was posted.

I had a colleague who stalked my WhatsApp, the second I went on she would message me, usually with something inane and pointless. It made me really uncomfortable so what you’re describing is a thousand times worse. Get rid of this arse now.

I agree.

@Cornetti26 you need to do this. This controlling behaviour will get worse.

I bet he has told you that all his exes were psychos as well.

Just change your settings, and your boyfriend

Like a PP, I’ve been on the other side of this, checking someone’s ‘last seen’ and wondering who they were messaging, why so late, etc.

BUT:

I knew this was a ‘me’ problem, not a ‘them’ problem, and I worked on it (without ever even mentioning it to them).

You are not doing anything wrong. He is exhibiting controlling behaviour. Get out.

Yes! But everything is my fault not his.

That’s all.

Ditch op and do not move in together. You can message who u want anytime of day or night, your business not his!! He sounds controlling

This is the turning point. If you accept this, you will accept much more. Dump him!

“ think its only when you start to write it you realise how stupid it sounds and think why the fuck am I putting myself though this! And there are other signs of controlling behaviour.”

“everything is my fault not his.”

So, OP, in writing this down, it must have become clear to you that you are in a controlling relationship - and sadly, this will get worse, not better. I don’t think you have any option but to leave. You will doubtless be told that you’re unreasonable, or that you’ve been looking at other men, or other nonsense - you need to get out now, because I’m sad to say that men like this become more controlling as time goes on, and you will end up living in fear of upsetting him for some invented “transgression”.

@Cornetti26 id say he is projecting .
Ditch him . Txt and say its over in not attracted to you anymore and ask him not to contact you again.
I mean surely this is very unattractive behavior.

He controlling and will escalate as the relationship progresses .

That would just cause questions, like I'm hiding something

YABVVVVVU not to dump this controlling cunt

Aside from the fact he’s not a nice guy, you know you can turn off your online status/read receipts etc? Mine are off all the time - I dislike anyone knowing what I’m doing at a particular moment in time. Nothing to do with being dodgy. I’ve never had mine visible.

This. The controlling is only going to get worse.

It’s called DARVO and it’s a common abuse tactic.

Deflect attack reverse victim and offender