Can't go on WhatsApp

[Cornetti26]

I have been in a relationship for just over 12 months and I am paranoid every time I go on WhatsApp because I will be questioned who I am messaging. For example I'm at home, it's late at night and I have messaged my bf goodnight, my DD has messaged after this and the following morning I'm questioned as to why I was up so late on WhatsApp. AIBU to think this is not normal.

@Cornetti26 What are you going to do now, given all the responses saying the same thing?

Ignore them all by looks of it (and her previous thread on same subject)

Some women don't make it easy for themselves do they?

You need to ask yourself why you put up with this.

He’ll be making you distance yourself from you daughter and family soon.

He’s probably cheating on you because cheaters act that way.

How old are you, @Cornetti26 ? What has happened in your life for you to become such a doormat? Surely you would be happier being single than putting up with such outrageously controlling behaviour.

Let him say that! I have mine turned off because I am hiding something - when I’m online or if I’ve read messages. And it’s totally ok to do so.

Absolutely it’s easy to rationalise or normalise some of these behaviours when you are in the middle of them. It’s only when you take an outside perspective you realise how unreasonable it is

Don't let him move in with you, whatever you do

Are you going to respond to any of the posts suggesting that you dump him?

But once you dump him, you can block him and then he won’t say anything anyway!?

I don’t know why WhatsApp has all these settings green ticks and last online and all that it’s so unhelpful makes people go mental!

Tell him if he asks you again, you’ll turn your “last seen/online” settings off.

I have no intention of doing that 😊

Agree with the secondly.

But not the firstly. I could see the point of that if immediately blocking him on the app isn't possible because the OP needs to maintain contact for a short while to sort out the logistics of separating, but beyond that, why? Why disable useful functionality just because one person (that she will have blocked by then) is a controlling d'head?

Why are you tolerating this?

You aren’t hiding things You are having perfectly normal conversations with people including your daughter. The fact that he feels entitled to intrude and demand to know who you are speaking to is appalling. You’ve never broken his trust. This is a him problem, and a big one. Who does he think he is?! Turn off your last read and get rid of him.

Have you ended it yet?

Why are you allowing a man to dictate when you can and can’t communicate with your DD?

Why haven’t you ended the relationship with your abuser?

End it.

Block.

And never look back.

There is no other solution.

you need to tell him(if safe), WhatsApp is causing arguments let’s text instead , then block him
on WhatsApp. He will explode with virtriol and hopefully show his true coloues and you will bin him!

I wouldn’t mess around. This never gets better.

Just say to him

”Look, this isn’t working. Your belongings will be left outside my house on xx date if you want to collect them.”

Then block and follow through with it.

He’s already shown his true colours by fucking stalking her WhatsApp status and arguing with her about it. She doesn’t need to bait him into anything further and she doesn’t need to set up an excuse to dump him, FFS. She just needs to fucking leave him, because he is controlling and abusive. It’s as plain as it could be.