To wish this mum would give it a rest?

[jane331]

My DC started school last year and, since then, I've got to know quite a few of the mums from the class. One of them in particular, "Emma" (not her real name) is really starting to grate on some of us. At every possible chance she gets, she goes on and on and onnnnnn about "needing" an ADHD diagnosis for her DS. This little boys is in trouble at school most days, my DD tells me all sort of stories about his behaviour in class and in the dining hall etc.
But the mum goes on so much, relentlessly infact, about him having ADHD, although adds on that it's "undiagnosed".
Why not pursue a formal diagnosis from CAMHS or privately, instead of making her own diagnosis and spending hours per week boring the other mums or anyone who's polite enough to listen? I've never heard her going on about "his ADHD" in the local corner shop when I was behind her in the queue. The sales assistant was smiling politely but clearly felt uneasy. Not to mention this mum was holding up the queue.
Who goes on so publicly and relentlessly about their DC health or any medical concerns? Maybe i'm just old-school but any health or ND concerns with my children, I wouldn't want to talk endlessly about to anyone who listens.

I hope she doesn't live in my area.

Friend's son waited 6 years after referral before he got assessed for autism.

Of course I didnt say that, but a lot of mothers think that it's easy to get the benefits that come with their kid's conditions. Don't be naive, you know that a lot of unscrupulous mothers push for these diagnosis in order to get extra money.

Because ADHD is often hereditary and a lot of people with ADHD are 'external processors' and also over-sharers? There's normal conversation and then there's going on and onnn about something to the point where it makes listeners uncomfortable

Tell you what. How about you try and get DLA 'extra money' for your kid if it's so easy. Go through the process and let us know how it goes.

You can push for a diagnosis all you like, if you don't meet the criteria then you won't get one.

Even if you do get one benefits aren't based on diagnosis.

Funny that you're calling me naive when you obviously have no idea what you're talking about.

PIP health condition guides
Claim PIP for ADHD
In 2023, there were 52,989 PIP claimants with ADHD listed as their main disabling condition. This makes it the fourteenth most common condition to get an award of PIP for out of over 500 conditions listed by the DWP.

The success rate for PIP claims for ADHD is 43%, compared to an overall average of 53%. So you have a less than average chance of getting an award for ADHD.

Interestingly...
*The ages of those currently in receipt of PIP for ADHD are:

• 16-29 years 79%
• 30-49 years 19%
• 50-64 years 2%
• 65 and over 0%

She's a mutual school mum and you are complaining about her focus of conversation being her child in your child's class? Have you not met many school mum's before? Also it is obviously a problem for her and so she is speaking about it with a group she feels connected to. Your reaction is off.

At least she doesn’t sound mean and superior.

I don’t have to because I'm fairly certain I know the difference between children with genuine neurological conditions and that of badly behaved, disruptive brats that have been dragged up.

When my DD was undiagnosed with autism but had spectacular meltdowns I used to bang on about her about having SEN. Because I knew both she and I were being judged by the mums of the perfectly behaved little boys and girls. 🤷‍♂️

i know that post will be reported by someone but I think it ought to stand as an example of someone knowing not anything at all about which they speak- and as an example of the hate many families face.

it's that attitude to will alienate you, and push other parents well away, a lot more than a child misbehaving a little bit in reception.

That's what so many posters are spectacularly missing, or refusing to admit.

it's that attitude to will alienate you, and push other parents well away, a lot more than a child misbehaving a little bit in reception.

That's what so many posters are spectacularly missing, or refusing to admit.

This is where parents simply can't win.

When I explained my DDs issues to people I was boring them, making excuses and alienating them...

When I said nothing I was lazy, ignoring the impact on the other children in the class and doing nothing to help.

You sound nice. Bet your kids are a delight.

Thanks, that's nice of you.

That's amazing, you'll be putting thousands of specialists out of a job with your judgemental psychic powers.

Why is it wrong to complain about someone relentlessly talking at a group of people on one subject? The actual subject is almost immaterial

Have a heart, OP. She’s worried.

That was not the post i was talking about.

Is she a single mum and lonely, and has no one else to chew over his behaviour with?

that's not true.

They're little kids, none of them are "perfect" (and if they were little robots, it would mean something is very wrong)

It's VERY obvious when a child is being parented and when the parents don't accept bad behaviour, or when they use ADHD as an excuse, or no excuse at all. It's always the same parents with "kids that will be kids", kids are allowed to run riots, and are too special to be treated the same way as the 30 other.

Parents who also believe the entire class should revolve around their one child, and rules should apply to anyone but theirs.

You sound really unpleasant

Not all challenging children have a medical problem. She needs to get a proper diagnosis'. 🤷‍♀️

and worst, not all children with a medical problem are "challenging"!

That's what really infuriating, people insisting that ADHD = naughty. It's so rudely dismissive of all the families who work harder, and the kids who push themselves, to follow the same rules or expectations (for lack of a better word) as all their friends.