To think people should just pronounce her name the way she has asked them to?

[Grandies]

A few weeks ago a relatively young new employee joined my workplace, we aren’t on the same team, but we sit close together and I’ve gotten to know her quite well. She isn’t British, and she pronounces her name her slightly differently in her home language than in English. It’s not a massive difference and it’s a short name (such as it begins with E, in her language she would pronounce that “Eh” while in English the name is most commonly said with a more “ee” sound at the start) and the second syllable is pronounced the same. She still corrects people when they get it wrong and it clearly matters to her.
Last night I went to the pub with some colleagues and some people were making fun of how much she corrects people with her name (she isn’t rude it’s just if they say her name she responds with the correct pronunciation). They were also talking about the fact we have others in the world place who’s names get mispronounced and they just let it go. They also noted it’s hard as the name is pretty popular in the uk and pronounced a different way. It wasn’t a nice conversation, and it spiralled a little into stereotypes of the country etc. I called it out, noted that it was really inappropriate to talk that way about someone and left. I’m unsure as of yet if it’s worth reporting to HR.
I personally believe we should all try and pronounce peoples names as they want them to be, regardless of if they correct you or not, but especially if it’s relatively simple and they do correct you.
My husband disagrees he thinks she will need to realise sooner or later that she is in the UK now, and if her name is pronounced with the “ee” sound here she will just need to get used to it.

AIBU?

Good point and based on my experience with my son who has dyslexia and an auditory processing disorder as well, not being able to hear and reproduce certain sounds is a real problem for some.

However, that does not seem to be the issue in OP's workplace. As previous posters have pointed out, If these men can say the English word "ever" especially if they have a non-rhotic accent, then they can say the name.

@Slimtoddy why did you give your son a name that you couldn't pronounce?

How rude of your colleagues.
And how depressing, too.
My DS is 13. He was telling me how much he enjoyed a geography lesson in school in which they learnt about stereotypes, and he talked to me about what he'd learnt about how easy it is to stereotype other people from different countries or cultures to our own, and how wrong this is, and why it's wrong, and how all of us need to consciously work against stereotyping others, and why it's important. He chatted to me all about this whilst I was cooking dinner. It was a pleasure to listen to him because......he got it. He completely and utterly 100% got it.
What a shame your adult colleagues have less insight than a 13 year old.

I'd say BAIT-ho-ven. Never heard anyone omit the h sound

I omit the h sound. I say BAY-to-ven as do most people I know. I'm American.

I think YANBU. It’s basic respect to try and pronounce people’s names properly. We all make mistakes and might slip up if it’s unfamiliar, so no shame there. Equally no shame if she corrects it. Must be annoying for her that people keep getting it wrong.

HR is a bit of a drastic measure but I do think people should try to get her name right, it is her name after all. Not your situation to police though. Speak your mind and leave it there.

My reception child, just turned 5 has 2 Evie’s in her class.

one is Eh-vie, the other Ee-vie.

These 5 year olds manage to get both right.

How would you feel if your name was persistently pronounced “Tass” instead of Tess?

Brava, OP, for standing up for what is right.

It’s rude to deliberately mis pronounce a name

my name is often completely mispronounced (a different name but people think it’s the same name) but I’m not bothered by this most people get it right

some times people are used to a name being pronounced in a particular way and just revert back to that but they should try to remember

In her shoes I would start pronouncing everyone else’s name wrong…. So David would be DAV… ED.
Oscar …. ‘Oh’ - scar…. Etc!

but more seriously….. it amounts to bullying or discrimination…. Sure if she had a really hard name to pronounce, but Eva being pronounced as Ava isn’t that hard!!

Eva like never or Eva like beaver or Eva like raver? None of which are hard to say.

But it's her name!!!!

She can call it bullying and xenophobic if she likes. It’s up to her. I advocate a more measured approach.

My son has a name that ends in tin and a lot of people say ton instead. I feel like it’s a certain type
of person. I have a name that can be spelt a million different ways and it really annoys me in emails when they reply with the incorrect spelling. I feel it’s like a power trip or something.

We do legally stereotype individuals based on nationality though through the visitor visa system. Individuals from certain nations are viewed with huge suspicion that they will overstay and have to apply for a visa before travelling to the UK. Those from other nations are not viewed with such suspicion and don't even need a visa. I know a lot of this is based on which nationalities do overstay (plus throw in tit-for-tat, rich/poor nations and politics etc) but it's still stereotyping individuals based on nationality.

There is an element of accent with name pronunciation. I find many people from overseas pronounce my name differently to how I say it. For example South Africans pronounce the ‘a’ sound as ‘en’ or even slightly like ‘uh’ and and Aussies and kiwis also say ‘em’…

it’s more that they were being unkind that’s a concern. Hopefully they will see it was mean to speak unkindly about someone to a group. If they do it again then speak to your manager.

I’m sure she can fight her own battles without you rushing off to HR

I’d start calling these men their names with a random pronunciation every time I speak to them on her behalf. Twats.

I worked with an Eva and everyone managed to call her Eva with the correct pronunciation

I think she needs to accept people accidentally saying Ee-va the first time if they've only seen it written down, but once corrected she's absolutely reasonable to expect people to pronounce it her way.

It's not like it has a sound in it that's impossible for English speaking people to pronounce.

It’s the same as people shortening your name - it is quite irksome and I often have to correct people. They probably think I’m being petty but it matters.

For example when you introduce yourself as Elizabeth and people start referring to you as Liz. Nope. My name isn’t Liz. I’ve even asked before (genuinely not understanding - not sarcastically) “oh who’s this Liz you keep referring to?” And when they say ‘we’re talking about you!’ I have to explain that’s not my name, and I don’t relate to it any way.

I don’t think pub talk necessarily needs reporting HR but it’s great that Eva has an ally and an advocate. Just keep encouraging people to say it properly. What they’re doing might be a small phonetic change for them, but that’s NOT her name.

This is basic racism and dog whistling. Pronounce her name the way it is pronounced. So infuriating to hear and well done to you for saying something. That was an unpleasant conversation to be privy to.

My name and surname is hard to pronounce. It's not that I'm used to having is mispronounced, but I have no choice, cause I understand that an English spoken person can not say 'tr' together without having a sounding 't' and with combination with 'r' is a recipe to mispronounce it. Funny though, they're teaching phonics w in schools and my name by phonics would be pronounce totally correctly. So let's see in the future, maybe someone will actually be able to pronounce it 🤣

I’d go to HR and report it. It’s racist end of discussion.