To think that as you age you become more introverted and selfish ?

[Theclockkeepstickingtowards2026]

Just as the thread title says really . Since the menopause I have started to put my self first in every way . I can’t believe that I tolerated and cared about certain people and situations. I can’t believe how much time I have wasted on certain people and worrying about stuff that I really shouldn’t have done . Does anyone else feel the same ?

Me too. I don’t go out anywhere near as often as I used to but when I do its my choice what I do and what I spend money on.

The days of tagging along to stuff because other people want to are long gone.

Yes! 😂

I have become much more extroverted over the years. I get extrovert results on the MyersBrigg tests nowadays.

Selfish...? it's not like I can give an objective answer!
I was a lot more selfish pre children (mid 30s).
I imagine I can say I'm a much less selfish person as 50-something than I was as a 20-something.

Thepeopleversuswork

no, life has just beaten me down- mum sick, brother with sen, people we know being very sick or dying, work, kids, money issues by a billion- things breaking and going wrong, myself and dh have health issues, I’m having a lot of heart stuff. We’re only in our 40s, I just can’t get enthusiastic anymore- I look at the young mums at the school gates and I can’t fathom that life was like that or that I was as positive as I was. I miss it so much, my go to now with everyone is mostly short fuse. I’m just so exhausted

I find the opposite.
In fact I have purposely tried to become less selfish. I find that being more considerate to others has made me a much happier person.

Oh honey, some of us were introverted and selfish from the get go.

I've always been introverted and shy so no change there! I was labelled selfish when I was married, but only exH said it to me, no-one else in my tiny circle. It is perhaps not a coincidence I divorced him after my peri started?

I actually need more people to lean on, not less.

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Yes but no.

Introverted - I actually speak more to fewer people. My closest friends are closer and I’ve cut the rest loose really. Obviously I have acquaintances through kids school and work etc

Selfish - I don’t think it’s ‘selfish’ to stop being so unquestioningly giving as I was before, I think I’ve just rebalanced and it seems like selfishness because before I gave more. My younger years were all about giving or friendship at my expense. I never focussed on my own wellbeing or life plan, I just slotted it in round a series of useless boyfriends and friends. Now I make choices that suit me and the kids and care far less about how they look to others.