Unopened sanitary towel

[Numberblocks10]

Currently got my period. When I got home from work yesterday I dropped my bag by mistake and everything fell out. I put everything back (or so I thought) but then around half an hour later 9yo DS found one of my sanitary towels on the floor, picked it up and asked what it was. Just to clarify, it was unused (obviously) and still in the packet. I must have missed it when I was picking up things from my bag.

DH then shouted at DS to put it down (literally shouted at him) and then shouted at me asking why it was there. I explained to him what happened and he said it’s weird to be leaving things like that lying around.

I asked him to explain why it was “weird” but he couldn’t answer me.

AIBU to feel hurt by this? I don’t understand his reaction.

I was online dating a couple years ago, and this was actually one of my tests. I know we’re not supposed to test people blah blah blah, but I did.
If I’d been dating someone a few months and at the point of staying over then, at some point, I’d pop out to buy sanitary products instead of bringing them with me, to see how he reacted. Any man who acted like your husband would get the boot.

This! Or wander round the supermarket, chemist, local shop, watch TV adverts, visit the homes of other kids who have mothers, sisters, aunties, grandmothers. I find it very odd that s 9 year old could have been “shielded” from a product used by the majority of women between 11 and 60.

I’m afraid your husband is an arsehole.
I’d buy him a child’s book on the body same time as your children and tell him to grow up and get a grip.

My friends and I (40+ and have had kids) have discovered that reusable aka women designed products are better for periods and disposable period pads absorb more pee if you cough or water if you experiment. Stupid men designing things.

Your husband is an absolute fool

I find it most weird that your 9 year old didn’t know what it was tbh.

So.... he doesn't like them because what... blood?

Does he watch horror movies, or no?

I haven’t disappeared. I’ve been very busy with work and taking kids to their activities, food shopping etc etc. I’m only just able to catch up now and there are a lot of comments to get through

I'd start leaving them on display, we have baskets of various san pro on top of our toilets

I simply cannot imagine having a similar conversation with anyone I know. A wrapped sanitary towel isn't weird, your husband is weird.

Maybe you need to have the "period talk" with your DH.

Yes, we use the period pants too. Switched after discovering they bleach the cotton in tampons and it is toxic. Of course! They do keep quietly telling women this, but they don't want to actually stop selling them...

To be fair, pig's blood and male blood from using them for their original purpose of plugging bullet wounds from the 18th Century probably sufficed - and was much easier to get hold of.

Your DH would freak out in my house as I use cloth ones that we have to wash and then Han to dry in full view of the DC. No one in our house cares and DH does most of the washing so he deals with them most of the time.

Nothing weird about having a rogue, unused sanitary towel lying around. Part of life!

Id make a point and leave a basket of towels and tampons out in the bathroom from now on. They aren’t some shameful thing that needs to be hidden.

They used saline solution and water to test them.

So funny! 🤣 HereForTheFreeLunch

Facebook has got a lot of comments on this thread as Mumsnet has posted it.

There should be a disclaimer from MN that they may post on there.

I would be hurt by this also. A discovery that your husband isn't all you think he is isn't a particularly nice discovery. I would have a conversation with him in private, a bit like you would with a younger child learning about periods for the first time. Explain that periods aren't something to be embarrassed about and you're upset that he tried to make you feel like they were. Present him perhaps with a video of a guy talking about different period products and why it's important as a guy to be knowledgeable about them. Then maybe make him handle some himself (so he's not scared of them anymore lol). You could even do a little sensory science lesson with your son about the absorption of different materials (including pads) and get dh to join in. Then ask him to talk to his son about it and acknowledge his over reaction. The fact that he shouted at his son could be passed off that he was worried about it embarrassing you... But the fact that he then shouted at you about it shows that it's wasn't done out of concern at all and he actually has some growing to do. Best of luck. X

@Bobiverse I’d pop out to buy sanitary products instead of bringing them with me, to see how he reacted.

How does this test men? Why would someone react differently to you buying them vs bringing them over?

I work with 8-9 year olds and, at least in our local education authority, this is when they get the school nurse in to talk about bodily changes. I think it used to be the year after but they brought it forward since they feel more girls are starting periods at a younger age now. The talk is solely about the changes they may notice and the nurse is very clear that any detailed talk about reproduction comes at a later age when they are more ready for it. All of the class get the talk about changes in the bodies of both boys and girls. The period part is mentioned and the fact that these changes are needed to get the body ready for making babies, but no further details are given. The children are allowed to ask questions but they seem very accepting of the fact that the finer details for the baby making part will come when they are older. It's possible to discuss the fact that babies are held within a woman's body (a fact which all children will know as it can't be hidden) and the fact her womb needs to be ready to hold the baby without discussing how it will get there. After all, we can have periods without having sex.

The talk is all very relevant and factual and I'm all for it. The only thing that annoys me is that at the end, the girls get a longer more in depth talk about periods and get to look at the products in detail whilst the boys go out to play. In my mind, they should seperate the boys and girls so there's no embarrassment and everyone feels able to ask the questions they want, but the boys should also get to handle the products too. I have no idea why they are not included. This might well provide an opportunity to avoid more boys growing up like this man.

What a very childish overreaction on your husband's part. I think most of us have accidentally dropped one of these in our time and at least they are generally discreet these days as they are wrapped up. If anyone, male or female, noticed, surely the normal, polite reaction would be to hand it back and sau nothing. His sensibilities have not been offended by the sight of the actual object. I am well past the age of needing sanitary protection but it was anything but discreet when I started my periods in the late seventies. Although sticķ on towels had been invented, they were still the size of a brick. My husband has a funny tale from his childhood. He was probably around the age of your son, @Numberblocks10, and Dr. Kildare was a very popular television serial in the late sixties. He was reenacting this programme in the garden with a couple of his friends. When his mother looked out of the window, she had a terrible shock. His surgical mask was one of her old-fashioned sanitary towels with loops at each end and the loops were around his ears.

That's really interesting and informative. Thanks!

I do remember when we had a period talk at school, but I was at secondary school! I'd have been 12 or 13, so a bit useless by then. I think I had already started because I remember thinking that the talk was old hat, so I'd definitely have been 13. Too late for many.

We definitely had no such talk at primary - would have been scandalous!

So, did you get many men acting horrified?

We had a talk from a nurse when I was in what is now called year five. All the girls were taken into the hall and the boys did something else. I remember the nurse handing round a sanitary towel so we could see what it was like and we were given a booklet called Very Personally Yours, which was sponsored by Kotex. This was a Norfolk primary school in the mid-seventies. I think having a nurse in charge was a good idea and l think our school must have been fairly enlightened. It was exactly the right age as most of us were some years away from starting our periods but there would have been girls who started not long after this.