To have made my partner switch hotels in London?

[LondonWoes]

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

We got on the train today and he started bragging it was £30 a night. That immediately set alarm bells ringing. We arrive and it’s a dump. It’s not even a hotel, but someone’s house with a load of converted rooms. There’s no reception, just a living room, and every door has the same key. That same key also opened the front door. We had been put in a downstairs room, with no window. It was boiling hot.

I told him I wasn’t staying in that hotel. It didn’t feel safe and the vibes were off. He has begrudgingly moved but made me pay, so now im £500 down for my birthday weekend. Was I being unreasonable?

There really is no way for him to come back from telling his GF that all she is worth to him is the cheapest shittiest accommodation he could find, a takeaway for a birthday meal and the cheapest seats in the theatre. We know it's not because that's all he can afford because he's happy to spend a significant amount of money going skiing without her.

Because I’m responding to people that have quoted me?

I would imagine that there have been other things and this is probably the last straw?

And it would be op. If he didnt say "urgh shit youre right this place isnt great" and thought a fucking Five Guys in an Ibis room at 5pm was a treat for a birthday weekend, and had the brass bollocks to sulk, then theres nothing to work with anyway in the hope he'd get better. Men like that just get worse.

Harsh!

I maintain he hasn’t done that much wrong. Perhaps he could have been more apologetic when the ‘hotel’ turned out to be a dive but it sounds like you went absolutely OTT. I’d have laughed about it, maybe rubbed him a bit, if it was that bad suggested we go halves on something better and then arrange dinner together properly, in a nicer hotel I would absolutely be happy to compromise with a takeaway in bed and then go out exploring afterwards.

you got the trip you wanted in the end.
I hope he managed to enjoy some of his trip after that disaster .

Ultimately it sounds like you both had a lucky escape

LondonWoes - unlike the many many women on this site and god knows how many millions around the world - has the good sense to value her worth and get out of the relationship. You were not there last night, none of us were so we don’t know the full extent of his behaviour, but OP was and did experience enough to know this is not the man and life she wants.

If he’d not been so petulant after we switched hotel rooms to storm off for a walk, or he had been awake when I got back from dinner, I would’ve acted differently but I just can’t be doing with him being childish.

I agree!

Yes, by all means OP should let this one slide, and then in five, ten, fifteen years' time when she is trapped with children and shared assets she can join all the other women on the Relationships board who are looking back and wondering why they put up with such shitty treatment for so long.

Truly, the bar is subterranean for some of you.

How do you know he won’t be sitting next to you at Hamilton, btw? Are you using a different ticket from the ones he bought?

You know when women get on here and complain about their absolutely useless husbands who are also useless dads? This is the kind of shit that happens early on and they just laugh it off…nobody should lower their standards and allow themselves to be treated like that.

Absolutely - good for you OP.

I’m with you all the way OP. But I wouldn’t be pissy now, don’t let him know that you’re niggled at funding your own birthday. I think you have to be pretty thick to expect £30 a night accommodation to be ok.

Just say ‘Sorry, didn’t mean to demean you or anything, but I’m a grown woman who earns her own money and I’m fucked if I’m going to be crashing in nothing better than a squat. Don’t worry about it now, let’s make the most of the weekend.‘

But I would tread carefully going forward, there is nothing worse than a tight man.

No YANBU

Locks can still be designed where rooms A, B and C have different locks but all three keys open the front door. It's similar technology to a "skeleton key". Not perhaps the biggest point about your duff birthday arrangements but worth knowing for the future so you don't feel unsafe in other hotels like that.

You did the right thing OP, and you do sound a bit relieved so I'm guessing you had doubts anyway before this? If he'd acted differently it could have been got round but he acted like a petulant baby and believe me, this is a red flag for the future. I hope you have an amazing weekend, I love wandering round London on my own!

I have both tickets, I was looking after them

I love how the OP is being expected to manage her reaction for his benefit 😅You really DON'T have to waste your time trying to convince him that you're worth a bit of thought.

It's ready sad seeing some (few, but still) of the replies how many women expect other women to not have any standards and accept the bare minimum- I imagine sometimes because that's what they accepted and dont want anyone else to have self-worth and want to be treated better?

He’s had a lucky escape.

Do you live together?

@LondonWoes I'd get to the theatre early and don't be surprised if he's reported the tickets as lost/stolen and they don't accept them. You might need to show them this thread!

OP said she has the tickets, so he won't be able to get in anyway

perhaps but so has OP, this man is not a catch.

Enjoy the show!