To have made my partner switch hotels in London?

[LondonWoes]

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

We got on the train today and he started bragging it was £30 a night. That immediately set alarm bells ringing. We arrive and it’s a dump. It’s not even a hotel, but someone’s house with a load of converted rooms. There’s no reception, just a living room, and every door has the same key. That same key also opened the front door. We had been put in a downstairs room, with no window. It was boiling hot.

I told him I wasn’t staying in that hotel. It didn’t feel safe and the vibes were off. He has begrudgingly moved but made me pay, so now im £500 down for my birthday weekend. Was I being unreasonable?

Not when you're booking for tonight and the one after. You can get better deals if you look carefully and book ahead, which is what dim boyfriend should've done.

OP has nothing to feel bad for. As PP have said, it was BF decision to book a birthday weekend for her and in that case he should have done it properly not let someone down by booking dirt cheap rooms with security so poor she’s left out of pocket by several hundred because she now has to book last minute nearby rooms.

The other issue is BF response which was to get sulky and let it be known he wasn’t paying for replacement rooms. A mature person (he’s late 20s so old enough to know better), would have apologised and put his hands up that it wasn’t quite the bargain he’d hoped and if he really is skint let her know that and offer to go halves on replacement rooms. It’s him that has caused that mistake and then his stroppy immature behaviour to sour the entire birthday weekend and it’s why so many PP are telling OP to bin him. The final straw is that ‘suddenly’ the reservation isn’t what he thought, whatever that means and he’s ‘treating’ her to a birthday dinner instead in the glittering city of London of a takeaway in her hotel room. And you’re feeling sorry for the BF?!

Urgh. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Don't be stuck with this man for a moment longer or every special occasion will be a massive disappointment and just make you feel sad. Treat yourself and find someone who treats you with more thought and kindness than this. I'm still wishing you a happy birthday OP because you got the tickets that you really wanted and can treat yourself ☺️

Is he walking back to the first hotel?

Seriously, focus on having a relaxing night out. If he is sulking tell him not to bother coming and send him back to the first hotel. Have a lovely restful birthday

YANBU

Even at my skintest, I wouldn’t describe a windowless room and burger combo as a ‘treat’. It’s desperation. I’d rather stay in a caravan.

Takes ‘slumming it’ pretty literally.

The sulking completes the charmlessness. I hope he’s not expecting a shag.

Really feel for you OP, you birthday is supposed to be a celebration ..being mean with loved ones is a real tell

Are you the BF?

So many red flags of what to expect from a long term partner. Run..

Please dump this loser.

All of this is a deal breaker.

Is he always like this if you’ve been together a while?

OP has nothing to feel bad for. As PP have said, it was BF decision to book a birthday weekend for her and in that case he should have done it properly not let someone down by booking dirt cheap rooms with security so poor she’s left out of pocket by several hundred because she now has to book last minute nearby rooms Perhaps he didn’t have the money to do it ‘properly’? Perhaps he thought that it’s just somewhere to dump their bags and not somewhere they’d be spending much time? Perhaps he thought it would be something like this https://www.booking.com/hotel/gb/safestay-holland-park.en-gb.html?aid=2419775&label=metagha-link-LUGB-hotel-1338453_dev-desktop_los-1_bw-17_dow-Sunday_defdate-1_room-0_gstadt-2_rateid-public_aud-0_gacid-21415137781_mcid-50_bc-ABRsVQ_ppa-1_clrid-0_ad-1_gstkid-0_checkin-20251026_ppt-B_lp-2826_r-16437991860520500073&sid=84b16299d7e33a3df3d1504f7f62408d&all_sr_blocks=133845326_88610428_0_2_0%2C133845326_88610428_0_2_0&checkin=2025-10-26&checkout=2025-10-27&dest_id=1338453&dest_type=hotel&dist=0&group_adults=2&group_children=0&hapos=1&highlighted_blocks=133845326_88610428_0_2_0%2C133845326_88610428_0_2_0&hpos=1&matching_block_id=133845326_88610428_0_2_0&no_rooms=2&req_adults=2&req_children=0&room1=A&room2=A&sb_price_type=total&sr_order=popularity&sr_pri_blocks=133845326_88610428_0_2_0__1490%2C133845326_88610428_0_2_0__1490&srepoch=1760037021&srpvid=26dd86bde70701d9&type=total&ucfs=1&
which looks cheap and cheerful and that she’d up for a bit of an adventure like lots of people in their twenties would be. Did he have any idea of her expectations? Did he realise that he wasn’t doing it properly?

The other issue is BF response which was to get sulky and let it be known he wasn’t paying for replacement rooms. A mature person (he’s late 20s so old enough to know better), would have apologised and put his hands up that it wasn’t quite the bargain he’d hoped and if he really is skint let her know that and offer to go halves on replacement rooms If he’s skint then he probably didn’t have £250 to go halves with her. And I’d imagine that having just spent £200 odd on her, he was probably feeling pretty hurt and embarrassed to be told that it was nowhere near good enough and then have to admit that he didn’t have the money to fix it.

It’s him that has caused that mistake to sour the entire birthday weekend and it’s why so many PP are telling OP to bin him. The final straw is that ‘suddenly’ the reservation isn’t what he thought, whatever that means and he’s ‘treating’ her to a birthday dinner in London of a takeaway in her hotel room. And you’re feeling sorry for the BF?! Yes, I’m feeling sorry for him because it sounds like he has really tried to do something nice for her, however misguided, and he may as well have just set fire to £200. She could have made the best of it and they could have had a fun weekend if she wasn’t so intent on showing him that she was worth more. As it is, it’s a complete disaster and if they’re still together by the time they leave to go home, it will be a miracle. If they’re are, there’s no guarantee that she’ll be the one doing the dumping.

Yeah, I am. You’ve caught me out. I anticipated this whole situation and created a lengthy posting history as a woman just so I could defend myself without anyone realising that I am the poor man currently having to cope with an entitled birthday diva. I was playing the long game but you’re clearly too sharp for me 🙄

Does it not occur to any of you how much he’s spent on her already? And that she’s taken the tickets off him and told him the rest of his gift is a steaming pile of shit that’s nowhere near good enough for her. And is surprised that he’s not taken this in the best way possible?

I never say ‘if this were the other way around…’. Never. But if ever I was tempted to, this would be it.

She knows her own worth. So does pretty much everyone else on this thread. Whats the matter with knowing your own worth?

A birthday treat in London taking in a show doesn’t involve a youth hostel and a burger. These are, I assume, two working adults their late 20s. Not backpacking students.

Forget the key issue. Anything that costs £30 a night in London isnt the one

even a youth hostel would have been £50

he should have consulted you first instead of assuming that would suffice

Thing is, it's hardly an adventure to get some take-away Five Guys and eat it in the hotel. Might as well stay at home if you're going to do that.

There are plenty of much more interesting and enjoyable ways to have a cheap adventure in central London. There are loads of cheap eats within walking distance of the main theatre district; many of which would probably be a lot more interesting than something OP can probably get in her local shopping mall.

DH and I did many things on the cheap when we were young and skint, but if he'd turned up with a cheeky Nandos or a Five Guys in a basic hotel as a 'birthday treat', it'd have taken all my self-control for him to not end up wearing it!

"The other way around" wouldn't apply here. I refuse to believe a woman would book a 30 quid a night room in some random house in London for her boyfriend's birthday weekend, while pretending takeaway burgers were dinner. And if she did, that would be tight as well. Don't pretend you're treating someone and then put zero thought into it.

Bet his ski holiday with the mates is fine. You really should believe what he's showing you, OP, or every birthday will be like this.

He sounds really tight.
Hopefully you can enjoy the show, make the most of the time in London and bin him.
If you're in Chelsea you could go to the Saatchi Gallery, which is quite interesting, and you're not far from anywhere else of interest.

Mate, that's £30 for two bunks in a 15 bed dorm. A double room will set you back £73.

We're talking about an almost 30 year old man taking his partner away for a birthday weekend. For what it's worth, I don't think the youth hostel you have linked to here would be completely unacceptable for a couple on a budget. But their budget would need to stretch to £73 a night for a double room, not the £30 dorm option.

I need to see a picture of the hotel!

Just bin him off, unless you are 18 you do not stay in £30 hotels in London.

Hope you enjoy London anyway!

I voted YABU because what on earth is wrong with your self esteem to be with this utter loser? HE's not down £500, he's got an absolute deal, a £150 p/n hotel for the price of £30. You're the one whose lost out.

Seriously, tell him to get out, get the hotel to change the keycard and send him home. In a few years time it can be a funny story you tell about your tight ex. You deserve better than this but only if you allow it.

@LondonWoes he really doesn’t think much of you .
Id send him back to £30 a night place I genuinely would or even better send him home.
To and enjoy your couple of days in London .
This would be the end for me. .

Wonder how much his ski ing trip was .

There’s nothing wrong with knowing your own worth. There is something wrong with making someone feel like shit because their gift isn’t good enough for you and you think you’re too special for a burger because it’s your ‘birthday weekend’.

A birthday treat in London taking in a show doesn’t involve a youth hostel and a burger. These are, I assume, two working adults their late 20s. Not backpacking students Over the last 12 months or so, I’ve seen a dozen posts from people saying that their household income is over 50k, they aren’t living an extravagant life but they can’t afford to have an odd takeaway once a month, so you can pipe right down because £200 quid is more than plenty of people have to live on each week. You might be able to afford a posh hotel and a meal at The Pelican, and that’s great for you, but he obviously can’t. He’s done the best for her his budget allowed. Perhaps he tried to stretch his budget further than he should because a simple day trip wouldn’t have been good enough for her either.

Sorry if already covered, but this is key suiting. 'Differ' cylinders in each room lock, 'common' cylinder on the front door. Each key will open the front door and one room only, not the other rooms. Staff would have 'master' keys that do open every room (possibly sub-masters, depending on the levels of suiting).

Don’t tell me to pipe down, love.

Maybe he’s just a tightwad who doesn’t know how to do a birthday treat. I assume the OP knows the state of his finances, and clearly as she’s so surprised by this, he could well afford a proper treat.