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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you report this group chat?

159 replies

Fabulously · 08/10/2025 22:22

My university has a student forum where the module chair shared details of a group chat he created for students to get study support. The group chat is not officially endorsed by the university but has well over 100 students and university staff members included such as tutors.

I’ve only been in it a week (haven’t posted anything) - but it gets heated; the module chair sends frequent edgy jokes about politics, disabilities, schools etc. Others join in with more outright inappropriate messages about immigration and benefits & the like, arguing ensues.

Earlier today, he got into a full argument with one of the students who started insulting the module chair’s mother in response, module chair responded in kind - basically a bizarre dispute. Would you just exit the chat or also make some attempt to report the unprofessional messages? I feel uncomfortable reporting given staff members are involved, as I wouldn’t want it to impact my studies! But at the same time it makes me look at the university differently, if the staff act like this, like I wouldn’t go to that module chair for help if I had to.

OP posts:
NoBinturongsHereMate · 09/10/2025 13:05

hattie43 · 09/10/2025 11:33

How can there be academic progress when people seek to sensor anything to which they disagree . You don’t create inquisitive minds by hearing one narrative . How can anyone go through life hearing only likeminded individuals. The whole thing is part of the culture wars that have lead to the rise of Reform . Suppress conversation to this degree and people rebel which is what we are seeing now .

A full range of relevant discussion should be encouraged, but you don't make academic progress in maths by hearing your tutor's thoughts on benefits claimants (or their marital problems, piles, or difficulty getting a window cleaner).

Having professional boundaries is not censorship.

dreamingbohemian · 09/10/2025 13:13

Also a lecturer and this is so insanely unprofessional, I would also say report if you feel able.

It's not censoring views, it's holding staff to the expectations for professional conduct that we all sign up for in doing this job.

If this were an in person support group and the lecturer showed up and just ranted about nonsense and insulted people, would it be more obvious that this is about professionalism?

JaneEyre40 · 09/10/2025 15:11

Livelovebehappy · 09/10/2025 09:10

My point is that whilst some issues are abhorrent to others, you can’t be selective. However unpalatable some openly discussed issues are, you either challenge them in the group, or just remove yourself. At least letting these conversations stand, you can see who people really are, and give them a wide birth if you come across them irl.

It's a professional Whatsapp group for study at University, your 'some' argument holds no weight, we know the context.

thegifttaegieus · 09/10/2025 22:36

thegifttaegieus · 09/10/2025 11:03

I am so very pleased you wrote this :)

This is exactly who the OP is. She has made it abundantly clear that she actually believes that anyone who disagrees with her is her inferior and those who speak words that enrage her have no right to exist.

She actually believes this.

And what a temper she must have to have shone such a horrifying spotlight upon herself.

And just think, if this is what she is willing to say in public, one can only imagine the thoughts that must caper through her head.

The OP is definitively not the good person in the Whatsapp Group, but she's very good at "othering" those who dare to speak words or think thoughts she disapproves of.

And she is also very markedly not superior to anybody on this thread, or this site. In fact, anybody who can make statements like that would struggle to find any sort of high horse that could support them 😅

People who support Orwellian dictates are always pretty awful people, but I have rarely seen one so openly admit it.

Thank you. Most sincerely. 😘

Edited

The OP is, at best, a very unreliable narrator. She believes she is superior to anyone who disagrees with her and that those who write words that enrage her have no right to exist in this world.

She has stated this in a public forum. Imagine what she'd say if she were not restricted. Imagine believing yourself to be a superior person and having issues with other people's comments when you are capable of such venom.

There is no reason therefore to believe anybody in the chat is saying anything particularly remarkable or notable, and aligning yourself with a woman like this is not a win for anyone.

If OP could quote anything that would be notable, she'd have done so - and I am afraid that after being told I should not exist for having thoughts she does not agree with I would not be inclined to believe anything she said now anyway

As to the chat itself, they are all adult human beings who can, and should, make their own decisions about the chat.

If the person running the chat thinks things are getting out of hand, it is his/her responsiblity to say so.

OP has a few options.

She can leave adults in peace to have thoughts she does not agree with and get on with existing (although that would not be her preference, obviously) and just leave the chat. I am sure there is a Red Guard chat she'd be suited to, somewhere.

She can report it. Nothing will be done because nothing can be done about adult people existing and speaking words you don't like to other adults. I think she should report it, actually, as it would at least let other people know her character, while not actually shutting down the chat.

She can start her own chat and police their thoughts carefully.

She could have a bit of a backbone and, if someone is derailing the chat, say "I'm really keen to stick to the topic of a/b/c can anybody answer this?

I would not be part of a chat group like this, I'd find it irritating at best and likely be offended by much of the content. But as I am not a totalitarian who believes in censorship for wrongthink, I'd just do the adult thing and leave.

ClareBlue · 10/10/2025 18:23

hattie43 · 09/10/2025 11:33

How can there be academic progress when people seek to sensor anything to which they disagree . You don’t create inquisitive minds by hearing one narrative . How can anyone go through life hearing only likeminded individuals. The whole thing is part of the culture wars that have lead to the rise of Reform . Suppress conversation to this degree and people rebel which is what we are seeing now .

Do you seriously think what I wrote has relevance to what you are saying. Of course universities should be a place of ideas and debate that can lead to challenging views and opinions. But a WhatsApp tutorial group for Mathematics is a group for challenging thoughts and discussions on Mathematics and maybe theories, history, and the Mathematician's place in society etc. Not a place for people to rant about personal issues with explicit bias and prejudice, especially when it's the leader of the group.

effortlesslyannoying · 11/10/2025 02:59

ClareBlue · 10/10/2025 18:23

Do you seriously think what I wrote has relevance to what you are saying. Of course universities should be a place of ideas and debate that can lead to challenging views and opinions. But a WhatsApp tutorial group for Mathematics is a group for challenging thoughts and discussions on Mathematics and maybe theories, history, and the Mathematician's place in society etc. Not a place for people to rant about personal issues with explicit bias and prejudice, especially when it's the leader of the group.

"Should" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. There's lots of things that should and should not happen - but they don't and they do, regardless.

They're adults, they can sort it for themselves, and OP offered absolutely no examples (and then ran away after showing her true colours!) so it could just be her explicit bias and prejudice that's the problem. Anyway, it wasn't worth an AIBU at all, few things are tbh, she should just do it, or not, no need to post in the hope of group approval, most of these AIBUs are just looking for a dopamine hit from people telling them what a wonderful person they are and run away when they're told they're not.

Kurkara · 11/10/2025 08:03

thegifttaegieus · 09/10/2025 07:53

Lots and lots and lots of lovehearts and thank yous on this post. I do miss the days when mumsnet let us see up and down votes. And yeah, we all - absolutely every single person on mumsnet - LOVE it when we get a ton of hearts and agrees and thank yous. If the admission of that reality sends you into a frothing rant excellent :)

Of course, speaking the truth, as I did, is always satisfying, whether anyone agrees with it or not. But it is satisfying to know the tide has well and truly turned. The thought police are no longer in ascendance here, or throughout the UK. Their time is drawing to a much needed close, and free speech, normality and the ability to accept that other people have thoughts and speak words you disagree with without trying to have them locked up, having a brain aneurysm or a screaming melt down is once again becoming the norm.

It is, of course a fantastic quote, and I am very happy to have shared it. The truth enrages those who cannot bear to look in the mirror.

And only Red Guard members get upset at being called out for Red Guard behaviours :)

I am really pleased that pointing out the truth has enraged some of those who deserve to be forced to face the truth😊

Edited

Be still my beating heart! A real keyboard warrior gracing us fickle women of Mumsnet with his presence.
I thought true heroes were no more.

ThatCyanCat · 11/10/2025 08:50

Kurkara · 11/10/2025 08:03

Be still my beating heart! A real keyboard warrior gracing us fickle women of Mumsnet with his presence.
I thought true heroes were no more.

I forgot about this guy! He's been squatting and dropping posts here too?

Absentosaur · 11/10/2025 09:05

Fabulously · 09/10/2025 09:07

To be honest, it’s telling that the people who agree with me come from a place of experience with universities and decent careers as opposed to those who don’t! It’s quite clear that there’s a different demographic at play.

@thegifttaegieus I don’t have a problem with free speech and with that in mind, it’s quite clear that the world would be a better place without you in it. Here’s another love heart ❤️

‘ it’s quite clear that the world would be a better place without you in it’

Hate speech of course, from you OP. But I won’t ‘report’ you since you saying that, no matter how repulsive it is, is your right to do so.

It would seem that you are projecting, and judging those in the chat group by your own standards. Of course..

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