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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you report this group chat?

159 replies

Fabulously · 08/10/2025 22:22

My university has a student forum where the module chair shared details of a group chat he created for students to get study support. The group chat is not officially endorsed by the university but has well over 100 students and university staff members included such as tutors.

I’ve only been in it a week (haven’t posted anything) - but it gets heated; the module chair sends frequent edgy jokes about politics, disabilities, schools etc. Others join in with more outright inappropriate messages about immigration and benefits & the like, arguing ensues.

Earlier today, he got into a full argument with one of the students who started insulting the module chair’s mother in response, module chair responded in kind - basically a bizarre dispute. Would you just exit the chat or also make some attempt to report the unprofessional messages? I feel uncomfortable reporting given staff members are involved, as I wouldn’t want it to impact my studies! But at the same time it makes me look at the university differently, if the staff act like this, like I wouldn’t go to that module chair for help if I had to.

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 09/10/2025 07:47

A group of Adults had a disagreement.. it’s no big deal. Universities and Colleges were always supposed to be the place to do this .. to have alternative views, disagree, argue etc. Such a shame that this seems to have been curtailed.. no wonder the younger generation struggle with listening to, and responding to, alternative views .. they have never had the chance to think critically.

Fairyvocals · 09/10/2025 07:47

What the fuck am I reading? A university-endorsed WA group moderated by a staff member, where hate speech is not only tolerated but actively encouraged? Of course you should report it!

3WildOnes · 09/10/2025 07:52

Fabulously · 09/10/2025 06:44

Essay marking isn’t anonymous at my university. My personal information is on every page of the document, marked by my own tutor, who directly addresses me in their feedback. Exams are marked by someone who isn’t my tutor. But they could still work at the university and be aware of who I am as again, personal information isn’t redacted.

That’s another thing actually - this university & module chair are very big on equality, diversity & inclusion etc. Their views on the chat definitely highlighted that their “kind” persona is a facade.

Edited

I'm so surprised by this. I've studied at three different universities over the last 15 year and work has always been marked anonymously. Are you in the UK?

The chat is wildly inappropriate- and so unprofessional- I can't believe anyone would think otherwise.

thegifttaegieus · 09/10/2025 07:53

thegifttaegieus · 09/10/2025 02:50

“It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies and nosers−out of unorthodoxy.” —George Orwell, 1984

Definitely, be a good member of the Red Guard. Well done for trying to crush anyone having thoughts you disapprove of, words you don't like and feelings you think should be outlawed.

Good for you. Hitler, Pol Pot, Chairman Mao and every single dictator in history from both ends of the spectrum salutes you. Get on there, report it. Nothing will be done about it, sadly, because free speech has not quite been stamped out in the UK.

But you can get all those feelings out at the next two minute hate.

Lots and lots and lots of lovehearts and thank yous on this post. I do miss the days when mumsnet let us see up and down votes. And yeah, we all - absolutely every single person on mumsnet - LOVE it when we get a ton of hearts and agrees and thank yous. If the admission of that reality sends you into a frothing rant excellent :)

Of course, speaking the truth, as I did, is always satisfying, whether anyone agrees with it or not. But it is satisfying to know the tide has well and truly turned. The thought police are no longer in ascendance here, or throughout the UK. Their time is drawing to a much needed close, and free speech, normality and the ability to accept that other people have thoughts and speak words you disagree with without trying to have them locked up, having a brain aneurysm or a screaming melt down is once again becoming the norm.

It is, of course a fantastic quote, and I am very happy to have shared it. The truth enrages those who cannot bear to look in the mirror.

And only Red Guard members get upset at being called out for Red Guard behaviours :)

I am really pleased that pointing out the truth has enraged some of those who deserve to be forced to face the truth😊

Elbowpatch · 09/10/2025 07:53

Fairyvocals · 09/10/2025 07:47

What the fuck am I reading? A university-endorsed WA group moderated by a staff member, where hate speech is not only tolerated but actively encouraged? Of course you should report it!

You obviously aren’t reading the OP.

“The group chat is not officially endorsed by the university”

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 09/10/2025 07:54

University is for being exposed to different opinions.

Directly quote the things you think are actually problematic or grow a thicker skin and move on.

PandoraSocks · 09/10/2025 07:58

thegifttaegieus · 09/10/2025 07:53

Lots and lots and lots of lovehearts and thank yous on this post. I do miss the days when mumsnet let us see up and down votes. And yeah, we all - absolutely every single person on mumsnet - LOVE it when we get a ton of hearts and agrees and thank yous. If the admission of that reality sends you into a frothing rant excellent :)

Of course, speaking the truth, as I did, is always satisfying, whether anyone agrees with it or not. But it is satisfying to know the tide has well and truly turned. The thought police are no longer in ascendance here, or throughout the UK. Their time is drawing to a much needed close, and free speech, normality and the ability to accept that other people have thoughts and speak words you disagree with without trying to have them locked up, having a brain aneurysm or a screaming melt down is once again becoming the norm.

It is, of course a fantastic quote, and I am very happy to have shared it. The truth enrages those who cannot bear to look in the mirror.

And only Red Guard members get upset at being called out for Red Guard behaviours :)

I am really pleased that pointing out the truth has enraged some of those who deserve to be forced to face the truth😊

Edited

Lots and lots and lots of lovehearts and thank yous on this post

Show us a screenshot, darling.

I do miss the days when mumsnet let us see up and down votes

I don't think that has ever been the case on MN? At least not in the decade or so I have been here.

cannyvalley · 09/10/2025 07:59

this happened at my uni. It got reported and was taken very seriously by the uni due to the inappropriate content. I left the chat in the first few days when I realised what it was going to be like, so didn’t see much… but I would have reported it if I saw what you saw.

thegifttaegieus · 09/10/2025 08:00

ExtraOnions · 09/10/2025 07:47

A group of Adults had a disagreement.. it’s no big deal. Universities and Colleges were always supposed to be the place to do this .. to have alternative views, disagree, argue etc. Such a shame that this seems to have been curtailed.. no wonder the younger generation struggle with listening to, and responding to, alternative views .. they have never had the chance to think critically.

This.

beAsensible1 · 09/10/2025 08:02

Just leave? Everyone is an adult in the group.

Lovethystupidneighbour · 09/10/2025 08:02

Superstorefan123 · 09/10/2025 06:01

This is genuinely hilarious 😂 comparing someone to hitler because they don’t think it’s super professional to insult someone’s mum in a public forum 😂

I think the point they are trying to make is how slowly our “free speech” is being reduced. Which to be fair, isn’t far from the truth. Im left leaning but it’s becoming apparent how ridiculous things have become. Did you see recently about the man who got sacked for saying “top of the morning to ya” to his work colleague? Getting sacked for that is bloody ludicrous and we are currently living in a horrific self-policing society.

Let them make their shitty jokes and leave the group. Not everyone needs “telling off”.

Fairyvocals · 09/10/2025 08:02

Elbowpatch · 09/10/2025 07:53

You obviously aren’t reading the OP.

“The group chat is not officially endorsed by the university”

Oops - good point. But the OP also says it contains multiple staff members - ie university employees, who presumably have a code of conduct to adhere to - so it’s not like it’s a below-the-radar WA group of friends or junior peers.

BeardofHagrid · 09/10/2025 08:02

All of you need to go outside and touch grass.

thegifttaegieus · 09/10/2025 08:03

PandoraSocks · 09/10/2025 07:58

Lots and lots and lots of lovehearts and thank yous on this post

Show us a screenshot, darling.

I do miss the days when mumsnet let us see up and down votes

I don't think that has ever been the case on MN? At least not in the decade or so I have been here.

I cannot ever get any images or links to upload here. If you assume that is a lie I will assume you are a liar who simply leaps to that conclusion through projection.

I remember the site having up and down votes you could see, many years ago. It is possible I am confusing it with another site, but that is my memory.

MaudlinGazebo · 09/10/2025 08:04

The tutor just sounds deeply odd tbh. Academics often are. Or, 🧹 generalisation alert, Maths academics are often ND. I personally wouldn’t report it and honestly would just get the popcorn out and enjoy how weird it all was. The student who had the argument about the tutors mum (WTF) is the one who can report or progress it if they feel they need to, it’s not always your job to sort stuff out.

Any sniff that the tutor isn’t marking your work fairly though and I’d go nuclear.

ThatCyanCat · 09/10/2025 08:05

thegifttaegieus · 09/10/2025 07:53

Lots and lots and lots of lovehearts and thank yous on this post. I do miss the days when mumsnet let us see up and down votes. And yeah, we all - absolutely every single person on mumsnet - LOVE it when we get a ton of hearts and agrees and thank yous. If the admission of that reality sends you into a frothing rant excellent :)

Of course, speaking the truth, as I did, is always satisfying, whether anyone agrees with it or not. But it is satisfying to know the tide has well and truly turned. The thought police are no longer in ascendance here, or throughout the UK. Their time is drawing to a much needed close, and free speech, normality and the ability to accept that other people have thoughts and speak words you disagree with without trying to have them locked up, having a brain aneurysm or a screaming melt down is once again becoming the norm.

It is, of course a fantastic quote, and I am very happy to have shared it. The truth enrages those who cannot bear to look in the mirror.

And only Red Guard members get upset at being called out for Red Guard behaviours :)

I am really pleased that pointing out the truth has enraged some of those who deserve to be forced to face the truth😊

Edited

NURSE HE'S OUT OF BED AGAIN

anyolddinosaur · 09/10/2025 08:06

There's a very considerable difference between hate speech and opinions you happen to disagree with. From what you have posted it sounds like a spat with the school and then some insults directed at the module chair. Unless those comments are considerably more unpleasant than you have described it doesnt sound like "hate speech" - a term that can be used nowadays for any and every opinion you disagree with but cant justify in rational debate.

Unless you quote actual words used and it's much worse than you've said so far then it sounds like you should just leave the group. You dont know why a child's education is suffering and their parent is frustrated and if the module chair is insulted it sounds like he can defend himself.

HellsBellsAndCatsWhiskers · 09/10/2025 08:07

Just leave the group and get on with your life.

Dancingsquirrels · 09/10/2025 08:07

Could you post suggesting one group just for Maths queries and a separate one for chat? Then leave the chat group

thegifttaegieus · 09/10/2025 08:08

This reply has been deleted

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MaudlinGazebo · 09/10/2025 08:13

@thegifttaegieus there are ways of making your point without being a horrible cunt.

WeeGeeBored · 09/10/2025 08:14

ParmaVioletTea · 09/10/2025 06:38

is inappropriate for them to be arguing or agreeing with students in this manner for one simple reason: at the end of the year they will be marking the students exam submissions and I would argue that being in this group could create a bias in their judgement.

Exam and essay marking is anonymous. And tutors are trained to recognise their biases and not allow them to interfere with what they think of a student.

Before an Exam Board begins tutors and module leaders are asked to disclose any relationship that they have with students for the sake of governance. I remember one tutor declaring that they were in a flat share with one of the students. These things are taken seriously. They don’t mark that students work for that reason and ask someone else to do it. It is the same with students they have any kind of dispute with.

*For those who don’t know, an Exam Board is a University governance process where the department’s marking procedures are interrogated and the marks confirmed by external examiners.

WeeGeeBored · 09/10/2025 08:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Have you ever taught at a university?

cramptramp · 09/10/2025 08:18

No. Don’t report it. Just leave if you don’t like what’s being said. Ffs.

tipsyraven · 09/10/2025 08:20

Fabulously · 09/10/2025 05:39

To be honest, I think some individuals here have the wrong idea of what the chat is discussing.

I wouldn’t consider myself “woke”. I’m a civil servant so used to being very bland in comms with others and not bringing my employer into disrepute - I’d get in trouble if I was writing these comments at work to colleagues let alone in comms with service users. But yes happy to admit that I’m not the target demographic of these comments and can easily ignore - I’m not disabled after all and I am economically active so it’s not directed at me or caused offence. I’m more just taken aback by how unprofessional it all is.

You may not be personally offended but there may be disabled people/people with disabled family/family on benefits etc. that will be and will effectively be excluded from the group. Of course you should report it. It is inappropriate and sounds as if it contains discriminatory text and will exclude anyone who leaves from the support it is supposedly offering.

By the way, there is nothing wrong with being woke. It is being aware of the injustices and discrimination in the world and trying not to perpetuate it. I can’t see that as a fault.