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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you report this group chat?

159 replies

Fabulously · 08/10/2025 22:22

My university has a student forum where the module chair shared details of a group chat he created for students to get study support. The group chat is not officially endorsed by the university but has well over 100 students and university staff members included such as tutors.

I’ve only been in it a week (haven’t posted anything) - but it gets heated; the module chair sends frequent edgy jokes about politics, disabilities, schools etc. Others join in with more outright inappropriate messages about immigration and benefits & the like, arguing ensues.

Earlier today, he got into a full argument with one of the students who started insulting the module chair’s mother in response, module chair responded in kind - basically a bizarre dispute. Would you just exit the chat or also make some attempt to report the unprofessional messages? I feel uncomfortable reporting given staff members are involved, as I wouldn’t want it to impact my studies! But at the same time it makes me look at the university differently, if the staff act like this, like I wouldn’t go to that module chair for help if I had to.

OP posts:
Livelovebehappy · 09/10/2025 09:10

JaneEyre40 · 09/10/2025 09:02

What!? They have debased themselves to insulting mothers come on. It's not an intellectual forum any longer.

My point is that whilst some issues are abhorrent to others, you can’t be selective. However unpalatable some openly discussed issues are, you either challenge them in the group, or just remove yourself. At least letting these conversations stand, you can see who people really are, and give them a wide birth if you come across them irl.

Meanacademic · 09/10/2025 09:13

I work in a university and I’m on the side of academic freedom and free speech generally. To my mind, though, this isn’t the issue here. The issue is that a member of staff is using university resources during work time to discuss personal issues that have nothing to do with the degree. From what you are saying this doesn’t just happen once in a while but constantly. Students are being directed to a resource that does not help them with their learning. Completely unprofessional and the sort of thing a Head of Department should point out. Embarrassing to our profession but sadly that’s nothing new. Maybe you can mention it in person, your HoD might have office hours.

hattie43 · 09/10/2025 09:13

Fabulously · 09/10/2025 09:07

To be honest, it’s telling that the people who agree with me come from a place of experience with universities and decent careers as opposed to those who don’t! It’s quite clear that there’s a different demographic at play.

@thegifttaegieus I don’t have a problem with free speech and with that in mind, it’s quite clear that the world would be a better place without you in it. Here’s another love heart ❤️

Nasty and uncalled for .

notwavingbutdrowning1 · 09/10/2025 09:16

You absolutely need to report it. All universities have guidelines about how groups are run and moderated and about what is appropriate or inappropriate interaction between staff and students. Go to Student Well-being if you are worried about reporting it within your department.

Fran2023 · 09/10/2025 09:16

@thegifttaegieus
You also appear oblivious to the fact that one of the first moves out of the gate for dictators is to create a distinction between ‘us’ and ‘them’. Othering - allowing and encouraging discrimination and negative attitudes enables victimisation and rejection.
It isn’t about free speech.

Greenwitchart · 09/10/2025 09:22

This thread illustrates why ableism, racism, xenophobia and sexism are allowed to flourish in the UK: people suggesting that you should just turn a blind eye to it rather than confront it and that you are ''woke''.

OP, I would report this to the university and leave the chat.

Freedom of speech does not mean people being allowed to share hateful messages.

The tone of this chat goes against any university's equality and diversity policy.

NellieElephantine · 09/10/2025 09:24

Fabulously · 09/10/2025 09:07

To be honest, it’s telling that the people who agree with me come from a place of experience with universities and decent careers as opposed to those who don’t! It’s quite clear that there’s a different demographic at play.

@thegifttaegieus I don’t have a problem with free speech and with that in mind, it’s quite clear that the world would be a better place without you in it. Here’s another love heart ❤️

That's an appalling comment @Fabulously to say to someone the world would be a better place without you in it you've lost all credence for me

NellieElephantine · 09/10/2025 09:26

Fran2023 · 09/10/2025 09:16

@thegifttaegieus
You also appear oblivious to the fact that one of the first moves out of the gate for dictators is to create a distinction between ‘us’ and ‘them’. Othering - allowing and encouraging discrimination and negative attitudes enables victimisation and rejection.
It isn’t about free speech.

Well exactly as the op has done in the above quote with the 'I'm so much better than you... I'm university educated...'

zingally · 09/10/2025 09:30

thegifttaegieus · 09/10/2025 02:50

“It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies and nosers−out of unorthodoxy.” —George Orwell, 1984

Definitely, be a good member of the Red Guard. Well done for trying to crush anyone having thoughts you disapprove of, words you don't like and feelings you think should be outlawed.

Good for you. Hitler, Pol Pot, Chairman Mao and every single dictator in history from both ends of the spectrum salutes you. Get on there, report it. Nothing will be done about it, sadly, because free speech has not quite been stamped out in the UK.

But you can get all those feelings out at the next two minute hate.

Eh...

It's a strange leap to compare OP to Hitler and Pol Pot, just because she isn't keen on immigrants and disabled kids getting insulted in a group chat intended to be for maths support!

You need to get search and rescue out for that mental mountain you just climbed. Good lord. 🙄

PaisleyGilmourStreet · 09/10/2025 09:33

Fabulously · 09/10/2025 09:07

To be honest, it’s telling that the people who agree with me come from a place of experience with universities and decent careers as opposed to those who don’t! It’s quite clear that there’s a different demographic at play.

@thegifttaegieus I don’t have a problem with free speech and with that in mind, it’s quite clear that the world would be a better place without you in it. Here’s another love heart ❤️

Yet you appear to be the lone offended in a group of dozens of your peers.

The second part of your reply is just horrific. Possibly one of the most chilling things i've read on MN.

anyolddinosaur · 09/10/2025 09:34

@NoBinturongsHereMate We havent seen the comments. They could be discriminatory, they could be complaints that the child's school are poorly handling a child with special needs. There are schools with no idea how to properly manage behavioural problems and it is not discriminatory to say that.

The chat has been going on for 2 years and during that time it's become less professional and more social. Fair enough for the OP to go to the module chair and say she is unhappy with that and would like a chat that just focused on maths questions. A more social chat is not necessarily a problem unless you think lecturers should never chat socially to their students. Most people would regard that as silly and it would be a considerable change from when I was at uni.

So we come back to what actually was said? It offended OP but she has shown she is easily offended and isnt interested in any view but her own. She isnt prepared to speak out openly though. So she isnt sufficiently confident of her view to publicly call the comments out. Either the comments are so bad she should complain in the group or they are not and she should leave.

Sez1990 · 09/10/2025 09:39

I don’t feel that this issue is about free speech, it’s about professionalism. People including the tutor can say what they want on their own social media, but in a group chat for student support it’s just inappropriate for the tutor to be moaning about their personal life or making jokes about politics/disabilities etc. This is a chat for maths students, not his/her private group chat of friends.

I would screen shot the most unprofessional messages and the squabbling if it’s quite bad (maybe blurring out the names of students) and email it to the university and head of department. You can create a new email address to stay anonymous. I know some tutors are quite friendly with students which is fine, but they shouldn’t be using the student support chat for personal views, personal problems or topical debates

lostmywayrightnow · 09/10/2025 09:41

For info, we have had groups like this reported at our HEI. It has caused problems and HR would want to know.

CherryBlossom321 · 09/10/2025 09:43

It’s unethical and unprofessional. And potentially constitutes hate speech. Report it.

LoveItaly · 09/10/2025 09:44

Fabulously · 09/10/2025 09:07

To be honest, it’s telling that the people who agree with me come from a place of experience with universities and decent careers as opposed to those who don’t! It’s quite clear that there’s a different demographic at play.

@thegifttaegieus I don’t have a problem with free speech and with that in mind, it’s quite clear that the world would be a better place without you in it. Here’s another love heart ❤️

Crikey, didn’t take long for your mask to slip, did it. That’s second comment was appalling.

hattie43 · 09/10/2025 09:49

LoveItaly · 09/10/2025 09:44

Crikey, didn’t take long for your mask to slip, did it. That’s second comment was appalling.

The whole post is awful . OP thinks she’s championing bad attitudes in a chat group yet here’s she’s telling everyone she’s better than the rest because she’s at university and then wishing someone gone from the world . You couldn’t make it up lol if it wasn’t so sad .
OP clearly can’t cope with any views except her own and outside of her university echo chamber she’s going to get ripped apart in real life .

FrauPaige · 09/10/2025 09:52

PaisleyGilmourStreet · 09/10/2025 08:47

Being dismissed and having to go to tribunal would be incredibly stressful, regardless of the outcome.
That a tribunal had to hear such a ridiculous case illustrates that things are NOT working as they should.

I think 'first world problems' is a genuine phenomenon, and (largely social media driven) moral schooling is also a thing.

I don't doubt it would be stressful. It would be wonderful if no employee was ever dismissed, and that we did not need employment tribunals. However thousands of wrongful dismissal cases are heard are every year.

Given that, what is it about this particular case - found in favour of the complainant - that is so interesting and emblamatic of "how ridiculous things have become"?

bridgetreilly · 09/10/2025 09:53

If this is a tutor chairing an official support forum, absolutely report. Would you be okay with him talking like this in lectures or seminars? It’s no different because it’s online. People shouldn’t have to put up with this sort of thing in order to access the actual support for their studies.

Happyjoe · 09/10/2025 09:53

thegifttaegieus · 09/10/2025 02:50

“It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies and nosers−out of unorthodoxy.” —George Orwell, 1984

Definitely, be a good member of the Red Guard. Well done for trying to crush anyone having thoughts you disapprove of, words you don't like and feelings you think should be outlawed.

Good for you. Hitler, Pol Pot, Chairman Mao and every single dictator in history from both ends of the spectrum salutes you. Get on there, report it. Nothing will be done about it, sadly, because free speech has not quite been stamped out in the UK.

But you can get all those feelings out at the next two minute hate.

And then you hear about the group chat with the met police that shared extreme racist & sexist views, that talked about raping a female colleague, tasering children and the disabled. You know, the group Wayne Couzins was a member of.

Freedom of speech does not mean freedom of responsibility.

noctilucentcloud · 09/10/2025 09:56

I think there's a couple of issues:

First is that it is billed as a support for module chat, which means students may feel like they have to join it or remain in it otherwise they're at a disadvantage. This means it's not as simple as saying just leave the group if you don't like the content as it's not a fully free decision.

Second is the nature of the chat when it is billed as something related to the university (even if not endorsed by it). It should still be professional.

Both these mean I think you should report it, by taking screenshot of the conversation and emailing (from a new email address if you wish to be anonymous) or by talking to someone you trust eg student support, departmental head, or the report it now process within your department / university. This should all be confidential (ie your name isn't down as the person who reports it). Don't report it within the platform itself, it needs reporting to the university.

The other thing is I'm not sure if it's a whatsapp chat? If it is this seems strange to me from a privacy point of view - I'm a lecturer and I don't give my personal number to students, neither would I have their number. It feels like it is blurring professional boundaries and could also be a GDPR issue.

I'm sorry you've had this experience. Please consider reporting it to your university, it would be taken very seriously where I work.

LateLifeReturnee · 09/10/2025 10:02

Meanacademic · 09/10/2025 09:13

I work in a university and I’m on the side of academic freedom and free speech generally. To my mind, though, this isn’t the issue here. The issue is that a member of staff is using university resources during work time to discuss personal issues that have nothing to do with the degree. From what you are saying this doesn’t just happen once in a while but constantly. Students are being directed to a resource that does not help them with their learning. Completely unprofessional and the sort of thing a Head of Department should point out. Embarrassing to our profession but sadly that’s nothing new. Maybe you can mention it in person, your HoD might have office hours.

This is by far the most relevant response. This is the issue with the group chat.
I find the content of the chat distasteful and it makes the whole thing just nasty, especially as publicly the tutors etc are pretending to be inclusive.
But it's sending students for support on the mathematics to this chat on university time is the heart of the issue.

LoveItaly · 09/10/2025 10:08

hattie43 · 09/10/2025 09:49

The whole post is awful . OP thinks she’s championing bad attitudes in a chat group yet here’s she’s telling everyone she’s better than the rest because she’s at university and then wishing someone gone from the world . You couldn’t make it up lol if it wasn’t so sad .
OP clearly can’t cope with any views except her own and outside of her university echo chamber she’s going to get ripped apart in real life .

I expect that she’s very well suited to the upper levels of the Civil Service, and that wasn’t meant to be a compliment.

PaisleyGilmourStreet · 09/10/2025 10:08

FrauPaige · 09/10/2025 09:52

I don't doubt it would be stressful. It would be wonderful if no employee was ever dismissed, and that we did not need employment tribunals. However thousands of wrongful dismissal cases are heard are every year.

Given that, what is it about this particular case - found in favour of the complainant - that is so interesting and emblamatic of "how ridiculous things have become"?

I think the pp was just using it as an example.

louderthan · 09/10/2025 10:09

Sez1990 · 09/10/2025 09:39

I don’t feel that this issue is about free speech, it’s about professionalism. People including the tutor can say what they want on their own social media, but in a group chat for student support it’s just inappropriate for the tutor to be moaning about their personal life or making jokes about politics/disabilities etc. This is a chat for maths students, not his/her private group chat of friends.

I would screen shot the most unprofessional messages and the squabbling if it’s quite bad (maybe blurring out the names of students) and email it to the university and head of department. You can create a new email address to stay anonymous. I know some tutors are quite friendly with students which is fine, but they shouldn’t be using the student support chat for personal views, personal problems or topical debates

I agree. I also work in HE (professional services) and this is wildly inappropriate and unprofessional. I've just had to do a load of training about staff/student boundaries (in response I suspect to a case of coercive control in a relationship between an undergraduate and a lecturer) and we are strongly advised not to give personal contact details to students. This would be taken very seriously where I work.

You can have a friendly social relationship with your students without ranting to them about your personal life on WhatsApp and getting into slanging matches.
I can't really understand the logic of a group like this for module support either, that's what Moodle/Canvas is for.

I'm afraid I'm another one of these woke snowflakes who would always challenge ableist and discriminatory language, both in the work place and out of it; and I make no apologies for that.

itsnotagameshow · 09/10/2025 10:14

thegifttaegieus · 09/10/2025 07:53

Lots and lots and lots of lovehearts and thank yous on this post. I do miss the days when mumsnet let us see up and down votes. And yeah, we all - absolutely every single person on mumsnet - LOVE it when we get a ton of hearts and agrees and thank yous. If the admission of that reality sends you into a frothing rant excellent :)

Of course, speaking the truth, as I did, is always satisfying, whether anyone agrees with it or not. But it is satisfying to know the tide has well and truly turned. The thought police are no longer in ascendance here, or throughout the UK. Their time is drawing to a much needed close, and free speech, normality and the ability to accept that other people have thoughts and speak words you disagree with without trying to have them locked up, having a brain aneurysm or a screaming melt down is once again becoming the norm.

It is, of course a fantastic quote, and I am very happy to have shared it. The truth enrages those who cannot bear to look in the mirror.

And only Red Guard members get upset at being called out for Red Guard behaviours :)

I am really pleased that pointing out the truth has enraged some of those who deserve to be forced to face the truth😊

Edited

I think you've mistaken free speech for free speech without consequences.