To wonder what people actually expect and why they can’t just be happy to live simply?

[Terrazzomazzo]

So many posts on here of people saying that they are running out of money and “I have no fun money” et. Why can’t people just be happy that they have enough to pay their mortgage pay their bills and feed their family and clothe their children? When did holidays , excess “stuff” and weekends of fun days out and take away etc become a given right and expectation?

Get a hobby!

I see half the things listed on this thread as 'living simply' as actually being signs of wealth whereas some of the 'luxuries' are signs of poverty.

Spending time walking your dog in the country or doing your garden- free at the point of use, expensive to get to the position to do them (house in the country with garden, salary and lifestyle compatible with a dog etc).

Cooking at home presupposes a whole raft of things, from cooking skills to time to a store cupboard of ingredients, whereas a takeaway requires none of those things. I used to live next door to council temporary accommodation- the people staying there had loads of takeaways, because they had completely inadequate cooking facilities, loads of stress and you could buy chicken and chips round the corner for £2.99. Hardly a luxury.

Because this is the myth of perpetual growth which capitalism depends on.

I’d turn the question back to you and p ask “Why should generations expect a better quality of life than previous ones?”

It’s not a moral question it’s an economic one. Wishing things doesn’t make them happen.

I don't think it's unreasonable for people to have the expectation that in an incredibly wealthy country like this one they should be able to afford the odd holiday and day out for their kids.

“Why should generations expect a better quality of life than previous ones?”

Because they are paying a shit ton of tax for less.

Take aways are extortionate and people use You tube to learn how to do everything. There is no excuse not to learn to cook.

Many people’s expections have risen a lot in recent decades, as regards ‘fun’ extras - holidays, eating out, takeaways, expensive days or nights out, lots of snacks always available at home. All have come - very often - to be seen as ‘normal’.

The trouble is, for many people, incomes have not risen accordingly, plus of course the cost of housing is a huge factor. So it’s hardly surprising if people feel discontented.

Because people seem to associate fun with spending money!

Until fairly recent years, the average family had fun staying indoors. Playing board games, cards, watching films and documentaries together, drawing, painting, reading. Going for nature walks, browsing the shops. Reading a magazine in the garden. All pitching in with household chores and gardening. Occasional days out to a museum or a longer walk with lunch in a pub. A drive to a local beauty spot. Enjoying each others company (or bickering at times, but there wasn't the isolation many seem to want from their kids now). On day trips to see relatives, we often stopped at a Little Chef for a cheap meal.

Nowadays, many families seem to assume fun involves splashing out. Entrance fees, cinema and theatre tickets, exciting day trips, browsing shops must include 'treating' themselves to a few things, and regular sit downs in coffee shops, restaurant for lunch. Even with kids, it has to be somewhere like Nandos or Giraffee or Waga Waga.
Nature walks are 'boring' so it's a children's treasure trail at an overpriced farm. Lunch in farm shop as parents too busy to pack a picnic. Kids want days out at Legoland or ChillFactor.

Perhaps there's a growing need for more 'stimulating' fun. Kids get used to expecting souvenirs in gift shops, having lunch in their favourite restaurant afterwards. Cinema is nolonger special occasions only, it's a popular weekend outing. I also think too many kids are put into afterschool dance, music, activity clubs. Parents often work all week, so weekends are catching up on all the admin and housework, AL packed full of exciting fun trips. Lots of families don't even manage eating around a table together each day. Parents have their own TV so they don't have to take turns with kids.

Like a chronic overstimulated state, with everyone seeking the next dopamine buzz. Very sad.

Not all families clearly. Mine like quietly chatting in lounge, reading, talking, kids playing.

I totally disagree! Surely it's better to lower your expectations and "cut the suit to fit the cloth" rather than hankering after things that you can't afford and then feeling discontented and hard done by?

Even with kids, it has to be somewhere like Nandos or Giraffee or Waga Waga.

How is Nando's different to Little Chef?

Cinema is nolonger special occasions only, it's a popular weekend outing.

How do you know who is going weekly vs every few months?

Once a year. Pretty sure most could afford Chessington if they did it once a year or went without their weekly takeaway, yearly holiday, phone package, expensive tech, car finance etc.

Now kids are seen as deprived they don’t have all the above and school holidays filled with days out. It’s madness.

Of course not!

No iPhone, cheapest handset that is a Smartphone. DD wanted an iPhone so it was a second hand one that was birthday and Xmas present combined.

Luckily have good public transport, so no car.

Only got a TV this year because a friend was upgrading and kindly gave us the old one - prior to that just used our phones to stream (free channels). Not even a Netflix subscription (but DD got a friend to share her contact details...)

I even use the library rather than buying books. How deprived is that...?

I appreciate being able to pay for the essentials and having some left over for fun. Cheap fun is fine by me. The biggest 'extra' in our lives is DDog, who costs £50-60 per month in food and insurance. And brings us huge amounts of happiness everyday.

The problem is that the expectation is for those things to happen more frequently.

Of course people had these little luxuries in the past but they were less frequent, and people saved up and looked forward to them. They didn't just see them as an everyday thing.

I don't even do a theme park every year & don't know anyone who goes weekly.

Why? Because that's literally the point.

If we can't or shouldn't try to make things better for future generations, why bother with anything? Let's all just say "fuck it" and not bother investing in or researching anything.

Dogs are luxuries, anyone who has a dog is not struggling.

This! Kids can’t even go to the supermarket without walking out with a toy, a drink from Costa and a McDonalds on the way home whilst tapping away on their expensive iPad. Heaven forbid they should endure a rainy half term without a multitude of days out, fast food and endless soft play!

I hope you don't give up on your goal. I don't think simplicity always costs a lot. You might have to relocate and upend your existing life to achieve it though.

We live in a peaceful rural area with no noise or nusance. Household income and house value both well below average.

😂🤣

People who are happy don't judge others to this level. Over soft play, over what people should do with their kids, over everything - let it go. You cannot tell others what to do, or make them mirror the choices you made earlier in life.

I am in the 'hard bit' right now - just bought a house, got my basics, but my emergency fund has taken a hit and the nice holidays will have to wait a while. I can accept a bit of basic living, I am making a sacrifice just as you did. But I'm also not cracking the whip on people who are able to go on expensive holidays or drive SUVs or whatever else, good luck to them. Most people are trying their best, they know that it can all change in the blink of an eye and they don't need judgement. My basics still includes 'fun money' for things I like, such as perfumes which I collect. Live and let live.

But you are talking shite.

People have been doing things for leisure for centuries. Do you think all those victorian piers and swimming pools, for example, were built in 2010?

Sure, what people do has changed, but don't think that people doing stuff for fun is in any way new.

I'm just not sure that life was simpler. We would have 2 holidays abroad each year - one in a hotel and one in a french gite plus at least 2 in the UK - perhaps a cottage in the Lakes and a week somewhere like York. DB and I had music lessons (and instruments were more expensive then), were out most nights with an extra curricular or club. Most Saturdays DF took us swimming whilst DM did the shopping. We often went to stately homes (and yes my DPs were abusive), had the occasional day trip to Butlins to give DM a break. DPs had very regular date nights - nice restaurants or the theatre etc. We had the occasional theatre trip too to the ballet or a childrens show.

The real difference was that I went to 3 or 4 clubs a week in the local church hall only one of which cost anything (Guides). We had a big playing field behind our house where all the local children congregated to play with no adult supervision whatsoever even a primary age. Music lessons were free as was beginner instrument hire and later the county youth orchestra. There was a small local library where you could order books by your favourite author in walking distance so I could go on my way home from school. We had fish & chips quite often and my pocket money would cover my chipping in for a large communal chips when my friends and I walked back (alone) from choir - we were 8.

Nowadays you'd need a lot of money to pay for all those clubs and activities, a neighbour would call SS if they saw us all playing out/walking home in the dark, the swimming pool is expensive and the library is closed (and the bus fare to get to the big one in town is not cheap either).

Yes but you’re ignoring what I said. It was less common, they demanded less and they weren’t spending a fortune on luxuries that are now deemed to be necessities alongside. We all took picnics and dod not go out on expensive days trips to the extent kids do now. It was a yearly occurrence not a multiple times during the holidays thing with endless food , experiences and souvenirs chucked in on top.Even 20 years ago my kids went to the beach, had a picnic and were lucky if they left with an ice cream .Apparantly now thats basic and mean .

Yes, i pay £50-60 per month for ours (insurance and food). She is worth every penny. The joy she brings, the friends we have made. The ridiculous welcome we get when we've been out and get home.

We walk in our local park 95% of the time, which means we have got to know lots of people locally and feel a sense of community.

The other 5% of the time it's my day off and we get on a bus and go somewhere new.

And that's fun too, even the days we get caught in the rain and beat a retreat!

She is a luxury, but a very cost effective one!

I would choose her over a holiday on cost per hour of happiness. Luckily we can have her, a couple of camping weekends and a cheap (last minute) long weekend away each year. We are privileged.