Very religious colleague

[ThatLadyLady]

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

Mots and beams work both ways.

You’re an EDI manager who assumes you can talk down to your audience because its only a “mumsnet thread” for women and we couldn’t possibly know more about the subject or be above management level ourselves.

OK.

I'm not sure whether I would see being sufficiently "comfortable" to preach at all your colleagues and make them uncomfortable as very much of a plus point!

Interestingly, both of them are Christian symbols. 😁 Although OP's colleague might not appreciate them.

Wow! I’m fine with disagreement, but your posts are hostile. Does it make you feel better? Surely you have got what you wanted, your point has been acknowledged?

I wonder if the issue is less a belief/ religiosity one, and more one of a problem with social interaction? If simply told to stop talking about his belief, you might find yourselves engaged in discussions about printers with the same intensity. The best approach is probably to be kind but direct in shutting down any inappropriate conversations. Don’t beat around the bush.

He is massively out of order, and HR need to tell him so. Ridiculous that he thinks it is okay to force his religion on his work colleagues

I would report this to the manager and/or HR depending on who handles complaints like this in your organization.
It's not appropriate and he needs to be told that it isn't and asked to stop. And if he doesn't the company's disciplinary system needs to come into play.

Why is it ridiculous for him to think that though? It sounds like it has been going on for a while and nobody has told him it is wrong, inappropriate or makes people feel uncomfortable? So what is he to logically assume?

Actually…I don’t entirely disagree with this!

His behaviour is almost certainly illegal. The Equality Act 2010 is quite clear on this. From what you’ve said here some of his views are offensive and certainly sexist. IF he’s actively making the working environment uncomfortable for others - especially if he’s belittling their views - I would have a quiet word with HR and ask them to intervene. His religious views are a protected characteristic, but not to the exclusion of everyone else and you shouldn’t be expected to accommodate expressed views which cause offence.

What?

If it’s done in a bullying way, maybe no-one wants to confront him. He has a right to his religious views - that’s a protected characteristic. What he doesn’t have a right to do is force those views on everyone else and make the working environment difficult.

Your management needs to put signs up saying no religious talk in the office or wherrrver you work. You are braver than me because every time he started spouting religious crap I’d be telling him to shut the hell up. You can believe in whoever you want but I don’t need to hear about it.

Topics like abortion shouldn't generally be spoken about in the workplace. too Emotionally frought and distracting. This guyis way out of line.

It needs to be addressed, good on you for wanting to make it in a tactful manner. I try to avoid people like this, so have no real advice sadly

I really don’t think people should be raising religious views in the office in general. It’s the same with politics.

If there are requirements to your religion, fair enough if they can be accomodated. Seperate fridge for veggies.

I have plenty of strong opinions they don’t belong at work where we are politely neutral. Views on women , abortions, sex before marriage would be considered Micro aggressions and need to be dealt with.

Yeah, there had to be more to it than that I would think. Religion is a protected characteristic so sacking him simply for inviting others to his church would be discrimination.

This is highly unusual behaviour for a British Christian. None of the behaviour that you describe is normal for any of the Christian denominations with which I am familiar and definitely not in keeping with UK culture around religion. It's so unusual that I wonder if has some other issues going on? Just ask him to stop. It's fine to do that.

Edited to add: the behaviour is unusual, some more conservative US-style evangelical churches would endorses those views. They are outliers in the UK.

No one should be made to feel uncomfortable.

I think you need a playlist that doesn't offend anyone otherwise music should be off.

He needs to stay shtum with his views where they are offensive to others.

I would shut it down directly and tell him his comments are inappropriate in the workplace. Don’t let him have the space to lecture you about religion- his views are completely inappropriate in a work context.

I think I would be planning on how to decorate the office for Halloween.😈

Tbf if you're in a shop they quite often have music playing. Obviously not stuff with swearing etc but if the music is fairly mainstream and not swearing, why should it be turned off because he's taken offense and everyone else is happy

I didn’t say he was right. I said why is it ridiculous for him to think there wasn’t an issue with how he has interacted with his colleagues if he has done so consistently for weeks and no one pulled him up for it? He needs to be told it is a problem.

OP needs to be careful because religion is a protected characteristic and while the rest of the people in the office don’t want his views rammed down their throats, it needs to be tackled in a way that can’t be viewed as discriminatory.