Very religious colleague

[ThatLadyLady]

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

That’s exactly what it sounds like. I’m on Quora and there are huge numbers of American Evangelicals who think it’s their calling to convert others.
I find myself being ultra cautious when expressing my views as any view which deviates even slightly from their beliefs sends them into a tailspin of anger.

I think you should report his behaviours to your manager. Everyone can do without this in the workplace.

Its as simple as this.

I wouldn't go so far as to say personal views should not be aired, but there is a general unspoken social convention that people do not talk about potentially controversial personal views in work. And if they do, they do not endlessly bore on about them.

This should be quite simple to handle through colleagues just politely but firmly pointing out to him that his behaviour is transgressing an accepted boundary and he needs to pull back on this.

I'm with him on the music though. If you want to listen to music at work put on your headphones. Don't subject everyone else to it. Works bad enough without listening to other people's music choices.

sounds like he is looking for a lawsuit tbh

oh look no need for any of us to comment as @Calmomiletea knows exactly what our opinions are and what we will say....gosh that's a time saver

I at least know what the protected characteristics are, unlike you it seems. And you are the first to bring sex (a protected characteristic) and gender (not a protected characteristic) up. I didn’t mention either. I am sure you are very confident in your understanding and application of the EA, just as confident as fellow EDI professional Isla Bumba was, and as confident as you seem to be in you incorrect assertion that me pointing out ‘LBGTQ’ is not a protected characteristic was my first post in this thread. Do you know there is no hierarchy of protected characteristics?

Definitely speak to your manager. It's not OK for him to annoy everyone else.

He needs to stop bringing his whole self to work and start only bringing his work self to work.

It was silly of you to let him start dictating what everyone else could listen to. You should have just laughed at him the first time he complained and suggested he buy some earplugs. If he talks over the radio, you talk over him.

Fuck that. Straight to HR.

You may well be confident, that doesn't mean you are right. You are right it you correctly communicate the Equality Act and you didn't. People who know their area can condense it for brevity without misrepresentation. You also misrepresented the law in the way the Stonewall et al lobby groups have been for the past decade, and I am sure that is not a coincidence.

No-one should be pushing their religious views on others in the workplace

I wouldn't allow it on my doorstep and I wouldn't allow it at work

And I wouldn't be compelled to wear any sort of virtue-signalling badge either

He is probably assuming his talk is fine because no one has said otherwise.

Things are already uncomfortable and difficult! Someone needs to say something, directly to him as well as to his line manager. He needs to learn to get on with his work and stop constantly talking about other stuff. He needs to know that while he can express his views, so can everyone else, and he doesn’t get to make everything into an argument, and some conversations just aren’t appropriate in a workplace where everyone has different beliefs and experiences. He needs to grow up.

And I say this as someone who is a Christian and probably agrees with him about some of this stuff.

I feel a bit sorry for him TBH , as that kind of religiosity can end up looking like mental illness. He’s also isolated in the workplace and must be on his guard permanently for signs of blasphemous activity. Having said that OP I sympathise, I worked in a very evangelical Christian workplace in the 90s and it can get a bit much.

Everything they said and did was guided by their faith.

@MrsDoubtfire1 Well, yes? If you believe something to be true, of course you are going to be guided by that in what you say and do. We all are, to be honest, whatever you believe. If you believe there’s no God and no afterlife, that absolutely affects everything you do. It would be weird if your beliefs had no impact on what you say and do, imo.

Also, “My thoughts and beliefs are none of your business.”
”I’m not interested in sharing my thoughts and feelings with someone who is only asking so they can tell me that I am wrong.”

ClairDeLaLune · Today 08:56

I’m a Christian and would be very against what he’s doing. He’s coming out with a load of Old Testament crap. Next time he wears 2 different fabrics ask him what Leviticus 19:19 would say about that.

Hah! I should have read the full thread before posting the same thing!

Matthew 6 v 5-8 would be a suggestion, regarding performative religiosity, too.

Yeah, this very obviously not OK and needs to be told to STFU, either by his colleagues or by the management. It’s fucking ridiculous that nobody has said anything because they’re scared to rock the boat. There is no boat to be rocked here.

It is fine for colleagues to be open about their religion. It is not fine for them to try to impose their religion on others. For example, it is fine for a Muslim colleague to say “I won’t come to the pub for your leaving drinks because Islam prohibits the consumption of alcohol is wrong and I’d rather not go to places that promote it” but is it not fine for them to say “You shouldn’t be going to the pub because alcohol is prohibited in Islam and pubs are disgusting places. Actually all pubs should be destroyed and whenever you mention them I’m going to tell you why you shouldn’t use them.”

His bigoted views are discriminatory. What he has done so far would have gone against core values and numerous policies where I work. I would have told him so myself before now and then reported to my line manager and HR if he didn't stop. Expressing inappropriate views in the name of his religious beliefs does not make him a special case to whom policies do not apply.

I don't think anyone should be discussing any hot topics in the workplace, politics, abortion, gay marriage, lgbt pro or against.
As workplaces have been promoting the lgbt, pro-nouns etc they have brought personal politic/ religious views back into the workplace.
It makes things uncomfortable.
People should wear what they like, enjoy their beliefs, but keep them in their head or within their friendship group.

I can’t control your assumptions about my political views and skill or incompetance as an EDI manager based on a snapshot shown on an informal advice board, so I’m not even going to waste my energy on it. I accept my simplification was potentially misleading, not intentionally nor through lack of understanding of the legislation. I was writing in a mums net thread, not a briefing for senior managers or feedback on service delivery/policies where I would of course use the exact wording of the law and provide context in its application by giving examples of legal outcomes, tribunal outcomes etc (perhaps surprisingly to you, looking at various viewpoints, even ones which I may not agree with).

The most senior person in the room should have stepped up and said 'thats not an appropriate subject for the office' the first time he did it.

Good luck taking a case against someone when not one person he works with has even asked him to stop talking about religion.

People are not psychic, before getting the machine involved try the basics like actually asking them to stop and telling them you don’t want to hear the evangelism.

I was writing in a mums net thread

Then you are a fool not to realise how much depth of expertise there is on the Equality Act on MN. Where do you think the women who won the recent Supreme Court case met? Your post wasn’t potentially misleading, it was clearly misleading and if you understand the legislation then I cannot believe it was unintentional.

I was raised in within a Presbyterian family, attended Sunday School, Church services, Bible Class and Scripture Union until I was 16. I then decided to go my own way, but knew it was best to avoid having a discussion with my parents and grandparents who were entrenched in their own views.

Your colleague has yet to reach that point and if he wants to be accepted and continue with employment in the 21st century he should learn to keep his mouth shut or modify and enlighten his views.

I know the Bible inside out and would happily have a discussion/debate with your colleague…but I suspect that he would take kindly to that.

Keep it out of the bloody workplace!

No, the women should speak up first, not just run straight to a man to manage their issues with another man’s behaviour.

There is a group of them (apparently), all adults older than the new worker (apparently) who can’t have a basic conversation with a junior colleague to ask him to lay off the subject of religion in the workplace. Have a word, then If it continues, keep a record and then raise it up the line.

Running to the manager “to have a word” instead of speaking up simply reinforces the notion that women cannot speak for themselves to someone who plainly already believes that as a fact.

As both a Christian and a theologian Id love to have a wee debate with this moron Id prove I wasnt wrong but he would still argue he was right becsuse Im female so off to HR Id trot