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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to give up my double bed for my parents?

123 replies

heygle · 07/10/2025 22:02

I am renting a two bed holiday cottage on my own for a week. I had invited my parents (in their early 60s) on a trip overseas but they said they didn't fancy it/ I should ask my friends instead. Alright whatever, so I changed my plans and found a holiday cottage. They have since booked their own trip abroad.

It has one double room and one single room. I am solo. My parents have got wind of this and have asked if they might drive by and stay for a night or two mid way through my stay?

This would mean I would have to give up my double bed for a couple of nights and move into the single. I am paying for the holiday cottage. AIBU to say no? I don't want to give up my double bed when they aren't contributing and made it clear they didn't want to do something with me where they would have to contribute.

OP posts:
MeganM3 · 07/10/2025 22:38

Are they just trying to be nice or worried that you’ll be lonely on a holiday alone for a week?
It’s completely fair that you don’t want to give up your bed. But they might not be coming from a bad place.
You could just casually say ‘no it’s ok I’ll be enjoying the cottage and relaxing, there isn’t a second double room’.

Wakeuplittlebunnies · 07/10/2025 22:40

They are your parents wtf.

confusedlady10 · 07/10/2025 22:42

YANBU. Ordinarily I would give up my bed, but in these circumstances and context I wouldn't think you were wrong.

AnneKipankitoo · 07/10/2025 22:46

Tell them you have cancelled but still go.

Arlanymor · 07/10/2025 22:47

It sounds like they didn’t think going abroad with you would be a compatible holiday for all three of you - hence they suggested booking with friends and made their own arrangements. You’ve booked this place - if you want to see them then you move to the smaller room for a night or two, if you don’t then just say you would rather enjoy the break on your own. To me it’s that simple but I don’t know what the relationship with your parents is like and if you regularly clash over financial arrangements or the like. If it were me I would love to see my folks, I would give up the bed and doubtless they would take me out for dinner on the nights they were there by way of contribution.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/10/2025 22:48

MorningCoffeeInBed · 07/10/2025 22:14

Having made other plans when they decided they didn't want to come when they were invited, I'd probably not want to change them. I'd have planned my alternative holiday.

"Sorry Mum and Dad. When you said you didn't want to come on holiday with me I made different plans and booked accommodation suitable for just for myself. Maybe next time?"

Unless you still want them to come. Then you'll have to give up the double bed.

I think this. Just say you haven’t booked space for all of you because they said they weren’t coming.

They obviously can’t stay without taking the double bed, so it’s either that or they don’t come. But them not coming is totally fine!

BeeCucumber · 07/10/2025 22:50

Just in case no one else drops into this thread to say this - I wish my parents were still here so that I could give up my bed for them.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/10/2025 22:51

I think people are missing that the parents said they didn’t want to do a holiday together so the OP booked just for herself.

If she’d agreed with the parents to holiday together, she’d have booked a two double room place for them all, and they’d have contributed presumably.

Hellohelga · 07/10/2025 22:52

Yes give up the bed they are your parents.

Lighteningstrikes · 07/10/2025 22:53

I can’t believe you wouldn’t do that for your parents.

You sound very selfish, but perhaps there’s a back story?

SparklyCardigan · 07/10/2025 22:55

GameWheelsAlarm · 07/10/2025 22:32

"It would be lovely to see you during my holiday but I didn't book it for 3 people and it's not big enough, it would be uncomfortable and cramped and that's not a nice holiday for me - let's meet up for lunch somewhere half way between your house and where I'll be, one of the days midweek"

It is big enough though? The house sleeps 3, it's just that the OP is refusing to shift rooms.
I would do this for my parents, wouldn't think twice about it.

BernardButlersBra · 07/10/2025 22:57

GameWheelsAlarm · 07/10/2025 22:32

"It would be lovely to see you during my holiday but I didn't book it for 3 people and it's not big enough, it would be uncomfortable and cramped and that's not a nice holiday for me - let's meet up for lunch somewhere half way between your house and where I'll be, one of the days midweek"

It’s a no from me as well and this is a good reply. I HATE sleeping in single beds

BernardButlersBra · 07/10/2025 22:57

BeeCucumber · 07/10/2025 22:50

Just in case no one else drops into this thread to say this - I wish my parents were still here so that I could give up my bed for them.

I’m sure that person isn’t far away -they usually aren’t!

sesquipedalian · 07/10/2025 22:59

“My parents have got wind of this and have asked if they might drive by and stay for a night or two mid way through my stay?”

Whether or not you give up the double bed depends on whether or not you want to see them. If you were looking forward to a stay away on your own, then tell them sorry, it’s not convenient: there’s not enough accommodation, and you said you didn’t want to come. If you want to see them, then let them have the double bed.

missymousey · 07/10/2025 23:00

'Sorry mum and dad, that's so nice of you to offer to keep me company but I'm really looking forward to some time on my own at this place".

Ponderingwindow · 07/10/2025 23:02

I wouldn’t want to move. I wouldn’t want to be changing sheets on holiday.

Pallisers · 07/10/2025 23:04

MorningCoffeeInBed · 07/10/2025 22:14

Having made other plans when they decided they didn't want to come when they were invited, I'd probably not want to change them. I'd have planned my alternative holiday.

"Sorry Mum and Dad. When you said you didn't want to come on holiday with me I made different plans and booked accommodation suitable for just for myself. Maybe next time?"

Unless you still want them to come. Then you'll have to give up the double bed.

This. Of course if the three of you were travelling together for a break they'd get the double room. But they said no to that and are going on their own holiday. But just want to stop into OP's holiday which will disrupt it. Just say what MorningCoffeeInBed said above. Or missymousey's response is pretty good too.

AC246 · 07/10/2025 23:08

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 07/10/2025 22:13

“No sorry, there’s no room. I didn’t book extra space as you said you weren’t coming.”

This.
They didn't want to do something with you which is fine, but you have booked something for yourself.
It will disrupt your week and you don't sound keen.
Just because you are their child, doesn't mean they can forget their manners.

GameWheelsAlarm · 07/10/2025 23:15

SparklyCardigan · 07/10/2025 22:55

It is big enough though? The house sleeps 3, it's just that the OP is refusing to shift rooms.
I would do this for my parents, wouldn't think twice about it.

Show quote history

It's not big enough, no. If op was happy with a single bed in a box room she could have booked a spot in a youth hostel for a 6th of the price. She booked the space she wanted for a solo holiday and there happens to be one spare single bed that she has no use for. Her bed for the holiday is the nice double bed that she chose to be her home-from-home for that week. The spare bed is the single bed that won't fit her parents, who have not been invited to gatecrash this holiday.

We are a family of 3 and I always book holiday homes that say they sleep 5-6 because holiday cottage owners always claim a much higher capacity than are actually comfortable there. A cottage that claims to sleep 5 is generally the perfect size to actually sleep 3 and would be cramped and uncomfortable with 5. We did, once, make the mistake of believing an advertised "sleeps 3" property and there wasn't room to fit all 3 of us on upholstered chairs in the living area, and there wasn't enough space on the table to fit 3 settings of cutlery, glassware and dinner plates, nor was there space to swing a kitten in the single bedroom that was barely a few inches bigger than a single bed. The small bedroom in OP's cottage is probably only suitable for a child up to age 6, not a full grown adult.

Frankly I can't believe the cheek of OP's parents to want to steal her comfort and rest for a third of her week's holiday, uninvited, and banish her to a box room while they take the comfortable room.

Lovelamps · 07/10/2025 23:17

They've asked. You can consider and answer them. No one is unreasonable.
I think if you'd enjoy the company say yes and of course then leave the double for your holiday guests. If you don't want to don't do it. The choice is yours but there's no reason to be annoyed with anyone.

AliceMaforethought · 07/10/2025 23:17

I don't get all these ridiculous comments guilt tripping the OP. The parents sound pretty bloody entitled to me. All these 'they raised you' comments are absurd. That doesn't entitle them to crash OP's holiday. OP, stand firm. Just say no.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/10/2025 23:18

SparklyCardigan · 07/10/2025 22:55

It is big enough though? The house sleeps 3, it's just that the OP is refusing to shift rooms.
I would do this for my parents, wouldn't think twice about it.

Show quote history

Yes because she booked it just for herself. She’s the only one paying for it.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 07/10/2025 23:21

Pinkissmart · 07/10/2025 22:11

Why on earth wouldn’t you give up your bed? You’d be colossally selfish not to. Would it really be so bad to sleep in a single bed ?

Because she doesn't want to spend her holiday with her parents who are attempting to gatecrash it.

SouthernNights59 · 07/10/2025 23:24

pilates · 07/10/2025 22:25

It’s no big deal, is it?

You sound immature.

This. How ridiculous, I would be happy to do this for my parents, and would be pleased to see them. As a pp said I would sleep on the floor to give them a bed. How hard is it to sleep in a single bed for a couple of nights? What a drama over nothing.

Inertia · 07/10/2025 23:26

Do you actually want them to visit you on the holiday?

If so, ask them whether they want to look at rebooking more suitable accommodation. It might well be set up for a small family with a child rather than 3 adults.

Or tell them that it would be lovely to see them but your booked accommodation is too small, so they might be more comfortable with a B&B nearby.