To wonder how other families get to the end of the month?

[gundigirl]

DH and I are both middle earners, with a combined income of around £90k. We have one DD in state school – no fees, but she does a few clubs and after-school activities, which add up.
With the rising cost of living, I’ve had to take on a side hustle. I actually enjoy it, but still – without that extra income, I wouldn't have been able to cover recent repair bills, for example.
I honestly don’t understand how other families (especially those with two or more DC, or just one working parent) make it to the end of the month. I’ve never felt more financially squeezed.
I’m not exactly a super-saver – I like the odd hair appointment – but I do try to save or invest a bit each month when I can.
What am I missing?

As someone who doesn't struggle, it still kind of irks me when someone laments about how broke they are whilst admitting they can afford luxuries such as gym memberships and a yearly holiday.

The answer is so many families don't get to the end of the month. They struggle like fuck and live pay cheque to pay cheque. I have friends and family living in all different situations with all different incomes, relationship statuses and numbers of children, none of them have any real disposable income. Some save up all year for a holiday, others can't afford this.

The cost of groceries is now a disgrace and I often find myself thinking there is no way people are affording to feed themselves nutritious food if they are on low incomes.

I am single so probably not helpful for most! But that’s for breakfasts, lunches to take to work and evening meals. I batch cook a lot and make lunches at home for work
mostly cook fairly simple stuff like pasta bakes, stews, cottage pie
work lunch is always a sandwich as I don’t have time to eat anything else
porridge or scrambled eggs for breakfast

I use up bits of meat and veg and cheese in omelettes or make a huge pasta bake with whatever’s in the fridge at the end of the week
tend to go more veg and less meat

God, I hate posts like this. Who decreed that only people on the lowest incomes can ask for advice? Just scroll on if you don’t want to be helpful.

40/45 hrs a week at nmw would be around that figure

How much is your rent / mortgage? Many people spend more than your income on that alone.

Thst doesn't mean anything. Mine is the same except one less car and one more holiday and we earn less and feel comfortable.

You need to put numbers in.

I'm another one who struggles to understand how you can be struggling with that much income. In comparison our household brings in 40k after tax so less then half of what you have. We have one child in nursery and can afford to go abroad every year. We save roughly £500 a month and have decent savings. Don't overly feel like we're struggling at the end of the month either.

If you do come back to this thread hopefully you'll take the advice to track all your expenditure and see exactly where your money is going. It's the only way you're going to see where you can cut back.

Have you seen OP's update? She doesn't need advice, she has plenty of money - she's just splashing it all on a £200 a week grocery bill, sports, activities, two cars and a holiday. She's not broke -_-

lol, of course it is.

Minimum wage is £12.21 an hour, so 40 hours a week = £25,396 before tax.

How much do you think people on minimum wage are earning?!

we earn roughly 90k between us too and we have loads spare a month. I save £400 a month alone so no idea what you are paying for!. I also only work 4 days a week.

£180 a week on food is stupid. I pay around half of that for 2 adults and 2 kids .
1 car costs in this house
Gym membership is paid for by my work (very lucky) otherwise I wouldn't have one!
We also do 1 holiday a year!

OP - and everyone else answering - it clearly makes a huge difference what your mortgage is.

If you live in London and bought recently without a leg up then your mortgage could easily be £4.5K per month and there wouldn't be much you could do to trim it. You'd be living on £1.5K for everything else - it would start to feel tight, and everyone snorting at you is talking out their arse.

If on the other hand you've got a million pound mortgage - no-one needs that, it's a choice, and you should downsize or stop moaning.

It depends what your outgoing are. We have less than half of that but do t have debt and have paid off the house (we used the Dave Ramsey method largely), so our outgoings are very small. If you’ve a huge mortgage, cars on finance, credit cards, childcare, expensive hobbies etc then you will struggle.

Thats my husbands entire income, its full time and it is above minimum wage. We are not eligible for any benefits ...mortgage is just under £800 a month so around 40% of our income.
I will be getting a job once youngest gets their free hours next year. So hearing people complaining about 3 x is frustrating...

We have the same income and are managing fine and save substantially every month. We do however have no debt except the 200k mortgage living in the West Midlands. Run a ten year old car, don't take abroad holidays and don't spend out on beauty treatments and the like. We save for work to be done on the house and don't take loans out to do it. Kids don't do wrap around care as I work PT school hours. They do some clubs (both swimming lessons and each do rainbows or squirrels) but they don't work out massively expensive per month. To add our food bill doesn't exceed £100 a week for 4 of us

There are so many factors to how much disposable income someone has. Someone on less than us could manage even better likewise someone earning more could struggle.

On threads like this we (eventually) get a list of expenses. The mortgage is often £2k plus and there are car payments, which are presented as as if everyone has those - so the the poster asks what they are doing wrong having no money left.
The answer to how we get by on a combined income of £70k is that we live in a 4 bed terrace with a mortgage of £750 a month and own both of our cars outright (one being a Mini worth about £3k!)

Our income is similar ball park to yours. We don't struggle and manage to save quite a bit. Why? Because our outgoings are fairly low.

We have one child and a relatively small mortgage (live in very modest mid terrace which was a wreck when we bought it) - I think these are the main factors.

But also, we don't buy things we don't need. And we don't have an expensive lifestyle e.g. no expensive hobbies, I've never had beauty treatments, I dye my own hair, we buy clothes only when we need them, my phone is 5 years old, my laptop even older, we have a 10 year old car but mostly walk/cycle/take bus.

We do buy nice food and we enjoy a couple of holidays a year. We enjoy family days and don't worry about cost.

Dreadful. She may even have to fire the cook and the cleaner.

That’s what she needs advice on then 🤷‍♀️

Just find it so tedious how nobody is allowed to ask for help with personal finances unless they’re on the bread line, when in fact lots of people could benefit from advice on making their money go further.

I'm not sure she needs advice, just a big dose of common sense.

I didn't think we lived especially frugally but looking at some of these posts we must do.
Someone posted they spend £200 a month on takeaways and eating out, and £200 a month on clothes.
As a family of 4 I'd be surprised if we spent £50 and £50 on these things.

There was a thread on here recently where two people working part time were being topped up with UC to the equivalent of a £70k plus household income and were complaining of struggling each month. And that’s without all of the wraparound/childcare expenses and possible commute of two full time earners.

I can completely see how a £90k gross household income might be a struggle, but through the lens of living in the south east, with high housing costs etc. and young children, so high childcare or wraparound care costs. Our childcare for two preschoolers was over £5 k a month alone, and this is outside of London. Commute into London is £300 each a month for us. Housing is high. It’s so dependent on when you bought and where you live

To be fair nobody is affording a FT cook and cleaner on £90k with a mortgage.

In the same family setup, we spend about £120 a week on groceries and household bits (Tesco), and we don’t even eat caviar. I’ve honestly no idea how people manage on less. We’re not vegetarian and have no plans to become such either

Come on now! You know that £90k will be before tax, NI, pension contributions etc.
In addition, mortgage interest rates have increased in the last 4 years. Same with insurances such as mortgage protection insurance, building and contents insurance, car insurance etc.
This couple may have the need of 2 cars and the cost that entails.

All of the above with the increased cost of daily living, which is horrendous!

Even with 2 reasonable incomes, I can totally see why some are struggling.

My husband and I are retired and are mortgage free now but I remember in the late 1970s/early 1980s when Bank Base Rate shot up to 17.5% and we were both working and childcare was almost the same as our mortgage payment. Yes, we struggled. We kept our heads above water…but I remember and I fully sympathise with the next generation going through similar struggles.

We are now in a position to help our adult children (even in a small way) with their financial struggles…but it’s the tip of the iceberg type of help.

I’m aware of the problems people are going through and I genuinely sympathise with you.

This just shows how out of touch you are. It works both ways, but sneering at a family who earns a bit about average isnt helping anyone.

£90k is a about £5500 pcm, assuming limited pension contributions and no student loan.

Mortgage: £2000pcm for a recently bought bog standard family home in the SE
Season ticket travel: £250pcm
Bills: £500pcm
Food: £600pcm?
Savings for a annual holiday and Xmas presents: £350pcm
Family days out, birthdays, hair cuts, clothes, misc: £200pcm
car: £200pcm
Kids childcare and clubs: £250

That leaves around £500 for all other savings - to cover job losses, home improvements, boilers breaking.

Sure, it’s a nice life, but it’s hardly caviar is it. They are completely self sufficient, have to have a war chest of money to deal with emergencies like the roof blowing off.

It’s not the breadline, but it would be tight to go out for a family meal regularly or get a new car. And someone on £90k SHOULD be able to afford nice treats, or what’s the hope for everyone else.