To wonder how other families get to the end of the month?

[gundigirl]

DH and I are both middle earners, with a combined income of around £90k. We have one DD in state school – no fees, but she does a few clubs and after-school activities, which add up.
With the rising cost of living, I’ve had to take on a side hustle. I actually enjoy it, but still – without that extra income, I wouldn't have been able to cover recent repair bills, for example.
I honestly don’t understand how other families (especially those with two or more DC, or just one working parent) make it to the end of the month. I’ve never felt more financially squeezed.
I’m not exactly a super-saver – I like the odd hair appointment – but I do try to save or invest a bit each month when I can.
What am I missing?

But you haven’t said what you spend your £180 grocery bill on.
Cut down on your food bills and you see a saving of a few hundred a month
also - cut down on kids activities. You say you’re struggling buy you’re spending a lot.

For goodness sake, there is always such a race to the bottom on these threads.

OP says she has ONE holiday a year, ONE hobby (gym). Haircut twice a year. Her DH cuts his own hair. They rarely go out. Her DC needs wraparound care and does a few activities. She does not sound as if she is living life large. It sounds like an existence and day to day struggle rather than an enjoyable life.

It’s so depressing to read people lecturing her with assumptions about her lifestyle (she must be throwing money away because they survive on less..) and telling her to get a grip because some people are worse off. So what? If you work hard, earn a decent age and are just about getting by why should you think “oh well it doesn’t matter because others are worse off”. There will always be someone worse off than you. Does this mean you just have to be content with your lot and never complain?

By that logic, all the people complaining about their low incomes on this thread should STFU because there are, you know, people starving in other countries.

Ahh OK, I'll tell my body that it shouldn't raise my blood glucose levels when I eat those things then because the diabetes website says they are good for me.

I've only been diabetic for 12 years, what would I know about my body and what I need to eat to control my diabetes? 🤔

@Eastie77Returns Come on, OP has listed some of her outgoings and still the figures aren't adding up. If she really is living "an existence and a day to day struggle" then it's because she's saving and investing too much, or has debts she doesn't want us to know about. More likely is that she's mindlessly spending money and can't account for this. Also, regarding an earlier post of yours - I really don't like your attitude re bitterness and envy. They are lazy assumptions and pretty insulting.

It is usually jealousy and bitterness though with a big dollop of ignorance.

All the "Omg if I had that money I would do better than Op"posters-gwan then !

Get the qualifications, work the long hours, sacrifice family time, pay massive student loans -so easy isn't it...

Yes, lets all tighten our belts to the point of asphyxiation because our wealthy overlords are in much more need, not to mention much more deserving, of a new yacht than any normal person having any quality of life! 🙄 🤦🏼‍♀️

The take home should easily cover all of that - £1500 for mortgage AND bills is remarkably little. I suspect there is an awful lot being frittered away.

You’re not a mind reader so you don’t know if it is jealousy or bitterness. Again, lazy assumptions.

It’s not a race to the bottom but when many people on less ( or less after mortgage ) are coping well and living good and fulfilling lives then the OP needs to take responsibility

I'm not bitter or jealous, I'm just fed up of people complaining they've a household income of just under 90k plus and are struggling. In the OP's case they are spending £9300 on food a year, that's £780 a month. £1200 on gym membership a year. She knows very well what she should be cutting back on but doesn't want to.

There are people out there truly struggling, struggling to eat and put a roof over their's and their children's heads. There are women fleeing domestic violence with absolutely nothing but the clothes they have one. They're who my sympathy is with.

It's not a race to the bottom it's about not being so ignorant to realise that you aren't actually doing that badly.

P.S I have the qualifications which i worked hard for, have the student debt, have the long commute, constantly keep myself skilled up so I'm constantly good at what I do.

Absolutely this and I do think the Op has started the thread in good faith.
Managing money takes as much skill as earning it.
imho you need both skills

That's still your issue though
I out earn the Ops family but Im still willing to listen and help rather than dismiss
Op knows she could do better. That's why she/ he started the thread!

Go on mse
Some shocking stories of debt when people have great salaries but it's a community of supportive people.

Good luck @gundigirl
Money Saving Expert is a great community , I would give it a go

@FlippityFloppityFlump must be wonderful to have a body that totally goes against medical and dietetic consensus, they must be scrambling to study you.

are you paying out on car loans? Does the other half gamble?

This post makes absolutely no sense at all. Combined income of £90k is approx take home pay of £5,500 / month. If your mortgage, bills and food totals £2,300 / month then this leaves over £3,000 for childcare, hairdressers, holidays etc. How on earth can you be skint?!

I completely agree with @FlippityFloppityFlump beans can be hard to manage unless paired with fats and proteins.

I assume you don’t have diabetes @HairsprayBabe?

The guidelines are literally generic guidelines, each diabetic person will know what spikes them.

For example I cannot eat oats, despite the website saying they’re good.

Unless you’ve lived with diabetes stop with the sarcastic comments.

Well we struggle hugely on 130k, because we live in the south east and pay an almost 3k mortgage on a teeny 3 bed house where we both work full time with 2 kids and that's before any other bills. So there's really no point on judging because everyone's situation is different. I postponed having a second child and very nearly didn't due to financial concerns.

@Mushroo who is suggesting eating beans and lentils alone?

I'm reading some replies, and I'm pretty shocked frankly. Whoever is saying they're on lower income, and have to spare for holidays and savings need to tell me HOW, what's your superpower?

Life has gotten SO expensive, and on 90K I can totally see why she's struggling!
Perhaps a bit less so outside London, but for sure we all have experienced our money going a lot faster in the last couple of years.
Our income is quite a bit higher than the one mentioned in the post, but still between rent, groceries (trying to get good quality organic products), sports, nanny (as we both work full time, and the nanny also lives in London and needs to be paid appropriately), and a small holiday here in there.. honestly there's really room for savings!

My gym membership costs me 21.99 with use of the pool. It's slightly discounted though - would be 29.99 full price. If I were feeling the squeeze I would put notice on my gym membership and join a low cost one if there's one in the area - even if it was only till things picked up. Mine is a council gym with a pool and sauna.

I think a lot of people are guilty of frittering money away, I know I am and I'm on a low income. But if I were trying to save money on food - I would look at too good to go. Yellow sticker food that you can freeze. Olio has started listing similar bags as too good to go - just Iceland in my area but you can get five items for two pounds.

If it’s at a level to save money - the bulk of the meal would need to be beans or lentils.

Anyway I’m not getting into specifics, I just wanted to agree with @FlippityFloppityFlump and say that unless you understand her personal diabetic tolerances, maybe don’t question what someone says they can and can’t have with aggressive sarcastic comments

You need to give a breakdown your mortgage could be £500 or £5000 per month.

@AliLef Organic is just woowoo marketing experts and public health organisations agree. There isn't a significant difference in nutrient levels between organic and non-organic options. The most significant health impact comes from eating plenty of fruits, vegetables, and other healthy foods, whether they are organic or not.

We shop at Aldi - never spend more than £70pw for 4 of us.

Our household income is £45k with one working parent, two cars, 3 DS, 2 cats and a mortgage.

We don't buy without it being necessary, but the kids don't go without and they still get days out. We stuck to a house that we knew was big enough, but not a huge mortgage, and I buy all of my clothes from vinted

@Mushroo I will absolutely always questions anyone who claims to be "different" from the standard medical advice.

Additionally I disagree it needs to be the bulk of a meal to save money - even swapping 1/4 of the mince in a dish for lentils would make a saving.