To wonder how other families get to the end of the month?

[gundigirl]

DH and I are both middle earners, with a combined income of around £90k. We have one DD in state school – no fees, but she does a few clubs and after-school activities, which add up.
With the rising cost of living, I’ve had to take on a side hustle. I actually enjoy it, but still – without that extra income, I wouldn't have been able to cover recent repair bills, for example.
I honestly don’t understand how other families (especially those with two or more DC, or just one working parent) make it to the end of the month. I’ve never felt more financially squeezed.
I’m not exactly a super-saver – I like the odd hair appointment – but I do try to save or invest a bit each month when I can.
What am I missing?

I'm curious about how much the cars and gym costs? My gym is £20 a month and car costs around £150 for tax, insurance and fuel. My most expensive thing is rent taking up 1/3 of my income. I'm a single parent 2 teens and take home around £45k a year. I know people who get a very good wage and are just as skint as me because they are paying out £500+ on monthly car repayments. The more money you have the more you spend.

We are the same and I know what it is. My partner fritters money away in under £10 transactions and the occasional massive mismanagement like forgetting to pay a parking fine so many times it goes up to 100s of £s. It's depressing being with someone like this. Maybe you need to sit down and actually look at your finances.

Youre missing the detailed break down of what you spend each month. Then we can help you high earners to spend less

More detailed, this doesn't help

Things are terrible at the moment. Same boat here, two kids, two clubs and childcare

This again 🙄

Yes equivalent to a £90k plus salary, just on the childcare. It went up 30% just in the last year, with the NI increase and subsidising the free hours

There's so many different factors that come into play, someone's mortgage/rent, the area a person lives, council tax etc.

If you are spending that much on childcare wouldn’t a nanny be cheaper ?

We earn 90k between us and have 3 kids. You spend a lot more than we do a week on food, which makes me wonder where on earth you are shopping and what do you buy?

Our supermarket shop is around £80 a week now (it's gone up recently from £70) and we spend probably another £30 from the butchers. I tend to buy meat every quarter and freeze. I meal plan and cook from scratch. The kids all do a mixture of paid and free activities.

Our mortgage is perhaps less than yours, we bought 9 years ago in Scotland and didn't overstretch ourselves. We work around each other so no childcare needed, when we earned less we did need childcare and they were lean years for us. No expensive hobbies or gym membershipships. We bought a treadmill and exercise bike and use them in the garage, plus use YouTube for workouts. We run one car. We don't have takeaways often. Dhs mobile bill is £35 a month, mine is £3.

We aren't rolling in it but bills are paid, and we have a savings and holiday fund and a set budget for ourselves. Big purchases are considered but that's part of sensible money management.

At £20 an hour in this area, and plus the NI, it was coming in at almost £5k a month for a nanny. Thats not including the payroll cost, the pension contributions, sick pay and holidays, mileage annd expenses etc. Then they’d need some nursery anyway for the socialisation

We’re on a similar income, probably a bit more and also struggling to get a handle on things but I absolutely know where our money goes. We’re servicing several debts (mostly for renovations) and have a large mortgage (one of the most expensive cities to buy contextually). We sent older children to private school for a few years so couldn’t save back then, and have little to fall back on now. It’s tough but we’re starting to come out the other side after a year of really careful budgeting. I track everything to the penny these days and we are beginning to be able to save decently. Honestly getting a proper budget in place has totally saved us! Feel much less anxious about our finances now.

To add, I also think your starting position in life plays a huge part in all this. We have earned similar to friends over the years but many of them had no student debt (paid off by parents) or had help with first house deposit, weddings etc. Many had a lot more help with childcare while ours were in full time nursery from babies costing thousands. We still carry quite a bit of debt/lack of savings due to these big life costs that we had to cover without family help.

does one of you end up in the higher tax bracket? honestly i think a lot of people dont realise how much of that goes to the tax man. Not got a big mortgage but SE so probably higher than some and there really isn't a lot left after all the bills are paid. We also have to top up rent and living expenses for our eldest at uni because they only qualify for minimum loan.

At 20 an hour, 40 hrs a week and 10% for NI and pension that’s notably less than 5k and if you save only 500 a month that’s 500 in your pocket a lot of money

they don’t need nursery for socialisation- they can play with other kids in the park

£80 a week for five people I do not believe you
We spend more than that with one adult one teenager shopping in Aldi and Tesco’s

We’d need 7.45am til 6.30pm to cover our commute to work also, so more than 40 hours. Plus we’d need to cover the nanny’s holidays with alternative childcare. And any sick days, if they get pregnant etc. NI has gone up. Then 3% pension. Agency fee. We really looked into it

I get this I have one kid at uni so that’s 4k a year (that’s just to top up her living there she pays for her own food etc )still have to pay childcare for my youngest similar around 5k , we have had multiple issues with our house and cars this year which has racked up 6k debt, then just the usual few clubs for the kids. Mortgage costs so high just eating house maintenance it’s insane we are really struggling too

You are spending too much money.

It could be that your house is too big. Resulting in higher monthly mortgage bills, higher gas and electricity costs and higher council tax bills.

It could be that you spend too much on clothes, holidays, consumer products, beauty products.

It could be that you spend too much on eating out and food in general.

It could be that you spend too much on your cars. How many cars do you have and how much did they cost? What's the monthly payment etc.

Basically show us your bank statements and credit card statements and we'll give you an honest response.

Or you could look at your own spending and be honest with yourself.

Stop spending too much.

How much is the mortgage payment? What's the value of the house when purchased?

How much are the utility bills?

Which cars and how much do they cost a month?

The devil is in the details.

Details which you aren't telling us.

Single income household on half your income. 1 adult, two teen boys.
Ruthless budgeter and low housing costs are probably the differences.
I drive a 10 year old car, no debt aside from a small mortgage, cheap UK holidays. I live a pretty frugal lifestyle.

We’re on more than you OP, but I can say that if we were on 90k and weren’t paying out school fees or nursery fees each month, we’d be absolutely fine on 90k in SE UK and with our substantial mortgage.
You’re leaking money somewhere, or your expectations are set too high for your income.

Tbh, it hugely depends on where OP is based. £90k in the North would be pretty good, but in the South and London, I can imagine it being a lot more difficult.

I don't know how some of you spend £130 a week in the supermarket.

There are 5 of us and we average £1400 a month on food.

Sometimes as well people feel skint even if they aren't. I suspect the cost of living crisis has eroded some of ops spare cash and she is feeling it.

Clearly they can cut back in stuff but if was something they were used to previously then it will feel like a sacrifice.

Also those of ayou with household income circa £30k how do you actually.manage what is your budget like?

Really depends what your outgoings are. You could earn well in to triple figures and struggle paying a big mortgage, holidays etc if you go long haul/5 star.

You have to cut your cloth to your means really.
Do you have private health insurance you pay out of pocket?
Pets?
Go out a lot - eating out is £££ now. Really mounts up.
Buy a lot of booze?

@HRchatter I don't care if you believe me or not I'm not going to screenshot my Morrisons bill for you but we do. I'm fully aware it will get more expensive as they get older but that's where we are now.