To wonder how other families get to the end of the month?

[gundigirl]

DH and I are both middle earners, with a combined income of around £90k. We have one DD in state school – no fees, but she does a few clubs and after-school activities, which add up.
With the rising cost of living, I’ve had to take on a side hustle. I actually enjoy it, but still – without that extra income, I wouldn't have been able to cover recent repair bills, for example.
I honestly don’t understand how other families (especially those with two or more DC, or just one working parent) make it to the end of the month. I’ve never felt more financially squeezed.
I’m not exactly a super-saver – I like the odd hair appointment – but I do try to save or invest a bit each month when I can.
What am I missing?

@gundigirl
Can you post your outgoings vs income

At first glance your food/ groceries are high at 180 pw for 3 people

People are quite good at helping you shave down costs on here .

The problem being is that we need those on 90k to spend or the economy tanks even more. So I suggest spend on hairdresser so they still have an income but space it out a bit more. Spend here if you can locally and British as much as you can. That is what we are doing. I am making far more conscious spending choices now. It’s a bit time consuming initially but pays off quickly. The kids learnt to make sushi for their own packed lunch, job done.

Indeed. So many people fail to realise that on eg 90k you take home nowhere near double what you would on 45k.

Rich house/ poor house is on channel 5 👌

Combined income of 90k not a single income of 90 so double what two people On 45k would have and a bit more than what one person on 90k would have

OP can't be under that much financial pressure if she can spend £180 a week on food, pay for her DC to do several sports and activities and run two cars.

@january1244 ouch at £5k a month childcare so over £60k a year

4 kids and a combined income of £70k. Every month is tight but we do it. Have a serious look at your expenses if £90k for 2 adults snd 1 child is not enough

What??? I'm a pensioner living comfortably on £24k p.a. Obviously no kids. Maybe I'm just frugal but I can't imagine someone on £90K worrying about the end of the month! Have you got big credit card debt? Loans? Overdrafts!? Huge mortgage?

On 90k you should have enough to pay all of that and a holiday. But I guess depends how much your mortgage is. I’m on 67k (sole income) live in the South east, 1 dependant left at home now, but 17 and no hobbies and eats same food weekly so cheap. Dog is biggest expense after rent (£1400) but I can still put money aside every month for christmas and some towards my house deposit (buying next year). If my mortgage is around same as my rent I should still be able to save around £500 a month. Check all your DD’s and outgoings and look where you can save. Unless your mortgage is mega expensive you’re definitely over spending there and likely a fair chunk can be reigned in.

@Dillydollydingdong how much is your mortgage & dcs activities?

#cringe

That’s a good bit less to be fair yes.

If you're feeling the squeeze it's because you have luxuries built into your necessities. Which isn't really a squeeze.

I'm on significantly less than you and on my own but only have 1 child. I have my hair done once a year a birthday present don't have my nails done and don't tend to do expensive days out, eat out or go on holidays (unless someone else is treating us). I usually have £0 at the end of the month but I budget carefully. My DC do a few extra curricular activities, we eat healthy cooked meals every day and occasionally treat at the coffee shop. They get new shoes/clithes when needed and always look looked after! I still count myself very lucky. Just have to be careful with budgeting and save for big purchases carefully.

Me and my partner make around 36ishk a year combined and we are fine. We go abroad twice a year also. And have 2 children. So on 90k if your struggling something is going wrong.

I think it depends a lot on housing costs and travel costs.
A couple in London in a 2 bed will likely be spending 1500-2500 a month on housing plus at least 500 between them on travel.
In my part of the country (not cheap but not south east prices) it'd be half that for a 2 bed flat or small house and travel would involve running a car but way less
If you mortgage to the hilt (which to be fair is often the advice) it really eats into a monthly budget. Or if you live somewhere with high house prices and you need 3 or 4 bedrooms then you're likely paying loads.
We deliberately keep our mortgage at about 1/10 of our income, which leaves lots spare. It's not really about what you earn, it's about what fixed bills take up what amount of your income.
On 90k, you could be spending 2000 amonth on mortgage or 600 a month - the difference is literally a family holiday every 2 months.
Similarly, a gym membership could be 30 quid a month at the local leisure centre or 150 a month at a posher private one. A haircut could be 50 quid or 150 quid with colour etc
It is tricky to know where your money goes withouta clear indication of what level you're paying at but if you're left with little disposable income it's tough.
We have amazing holidays that we save for, and have saved for private school fees. We are lucky with our earnings but also have a much smaller house than we could technically "afford", I get my hair done once every 3-6 mths, cut only, at home, 40 quid. Dh has pure gym membership which is very unluxurious and cheap, our cars are 2nd hand bought cash so cost us just petrol and insurance etc etc. So our outgoings are stripped right back to enable us to save for big things we like, on paper we act like we've very little money but then we have spare for the big ticket items - just depends how you want to live.

We're a family of 4 on about the same and we manage to save about £1k a month. Our children do two cheapish clubs each, we never have takeaways (the odd McDonald's or chippy) and our weekends are always park visits or free stuff. None of us are into self care/beauty stuff, none of us with gym memberships etc, and happy with stuff off Vinted.

We funnel all money into holidays though!

family of six joint income 40k , don’t claim benefits no other income (2 earners)
how?
council tax band A, mid terrace - midlands
no subscriptions of any sort
no beauty nails hair for me
try to buy as much reduced eg clothes trainers even if only a little bit - adds up
no finance
mobile contracts between 4-7 pound , and second hand sets from cash gen
no holidays
one or two presents only for celebrations

we don’t have a mortgage

It’s difficult to say without more details of your outgoings.
Also, where do you live? Obviously cost of living is much higher in some areas of the country than others.

This. As salaries go up so do expectations. Have you kept a record of every penny you spend for three months OP? That really focuses the mind.

By budgeting and being honest going through bank statements line by line for the last 8 weeks or so. All bank accounts and put it into a spreadsheet.

Then see what your spending and what can be cut.
I would say straight off for a family of 3 your weekly food bill is high. We are around the £100-120 mark for a family of 4 and that's sainsburys.

Are any contracts finished and your paying to stay on a higher rate? Can you got sim only on phones? What's your subscriptions etc.

I would have had some sympathy if u weren't living on nearly double what my hubby and I are on. We both work full time and earn just over 50k combined we have 1 DS and 2 cars (needed as we work in opposite directions and finish early hours of the morning). I get my nails done (£35) once a month, I dye my own hair and buy most of my clothes from a decent charity shop or on vinted and I usually have about £8-£12 left in my bank by pay day.

Do you have cars on finance? How many holidays do you take? Is your mortgage excessively large?

We’re on slightly less on that as a household, with 3 children and we don’t have a lot left over at the end of the month.
Im guessing you have a massive mortgage, your food bill is quite high if there is quite high for the 3 of you, we spend that on for 5 of us and it includes dog/cat food.
Without knowing your mortgage and household bills it’s tricky to make suggestions, but make sure you shop around for insurance renewals and if you have a cheaper time to use electricity time your washing etc to coincide with that.
We holiday within the UK due to the dogs but get away a couple of times a year