To wonder how other families get to the end of the month?

[gundigirl]

DH and I are both middle earners, with a combined income of around £90k. We have one DD in state school – no fees, but she does a few clubs and after-school activities, which add up.
With the rising cost of living, I’ve had to take on a side hustle. I actually enjoy it, but still – without that extra income, I wouldn't have been able to cover recent repair bills, for example.
I honestly don’t understand how other families (especially those with two or more DC, or just one working parent) make it to the end of the month. I’ve never felt more financially squeezed.
I’m not exactly a super-saver – I like the odd hair appointment – but I do try to save or invest a bit each month when I can.
What am I missing?

Is that a choice?

Also household bills, we got blankets, smart lighting, one has to be careful. For food, we dropped to non branded and more pulses and do a market shop for fruit and veg and do more seasonal. If you start trying to save on everything and I mean everything it makes a huge difference. I have noticed a lot more people are extremely grateful for hand me down kids clothes now whereas they weren’t just a few years back.

Mortgages and rent. That’s mainly where the difference is.

12,000 a year for fun is a lot
We spend around 1000 to 1500 a year on holidays, 400 xmas, around 600 a year on birthdays. That's around 200 a month.

£26 pw for eldest child then £17 for second child. Around £180 per month for two children.

That’s assuming no one in the household earns over £60k.

@Statsquestion1 shit

You have 12 thousand pounds a year to spend on fun. That's a shit load

I can only imagine you have a tiny mortgage (unusual for Surrey unless house was bought a v long time ago), almost never go out and your 3x holidays are very cheap. I’d be very interested to hear what your outgoings are if they’re all paid for by one (presumably average) salary. They must be lower than a typical household.

£180 a week on food is twice what it would cost for two adults and one child my house.
Cut that back and you could easily save £80 a week.

Yes.
Myself and my husband (no kids, no mortgage) are on a similar income (domestic and commercial rental).
My husband insists we are "struggling".
🙄

@gundigirl
We're on exactly the same as you with one kid in state school who does quite a few paid hobbies.
We don't feel squeezed at all, in fact we have lots of savings, run 2 nice cars and go on a few nice foreign holidays a year. Its mainly because we live in the north west of England so we'd paid our mortgage off before hitting 40. House is only worth £200k but it's plenty big enough for 3 of us, garden on 3 sides, double driveway.
There's your answer!

I have a feeling your mortgage payments have gone up recently?

But in answer to this question, which gets asked here every month;

Some other people have more money than you.

Some other people have side hustles and passive income they keep to themselves.

Some other people don’t have more money than you, but they can handle their money better.

Some other people live below their means and can plan ahead appropriately (e.g bought a slightly undesirable house when interest rates were low so they could comfortably manage an expected increased mortgage rate).

We struggle a bit but we're on UC, one dc at private school and I work part time zero hours contract. Dc does loads of activities eg fencing, piano, ballet, athletics, army cadets (ccf). Thankfully we don't have a mortgage.

It really isn’t much and you should have listened more in school! Might have you got you to further places

£1000 a month for fun stuff?
Gee what poverty. That’s over half what I earn (full time) in a month.
i agree it’s not luxury living but it’s way way more than my “fun budget”

Yes but you don't live on half of what she has because tax rates don't work like that, so perhaps take some cold water with the mouthful of smug.

Yeah, it's a real pittance 🙄

90k is two ‘average’ nursing or teaching salaries, its is not a fortune!!!!! Depending on whereabouts in the country you live ( re rent/ mortgage) and whether you have kids in childcare, its very very possible to be under financial pressure on these salaries even in a two income family.

@everyoldsock yes the key to surviving on a low income is to budget for foreseeable future costs eg dc has just been entered for her grade 8 piano exam and I already had the £137 saved and obviously I knew she'd want driving lessons now she's 17. Also have a rainy day fund for unexpected expenses eg boiler breaking down.

How much is your mortgage? My husband is self employed and I work part time so we probably earn about £80k between us. We have 3 kids. We don't have child care but spend a fair whack on the kids clubs and a tutor for my daughter. We aren't struggling but have definitely had to forgo some luxuries like meals out except for special occasions. Our biggest expense after the mortgage (but not by much) is definitely good, we probably spend about £800 a month!

How can you have a DC in private education and be on UC? Is it some kind of scholarship?! I can't believe the numbers would stack up.

Agreed. If they can afford private school plus living expenses even without a mortgage then they really don’t need the UC. Probably a wind up.

180 a week on food for just 2 adults and a toddler is a huge amount. We spend only about half that for a weekly shop for a family of 4! Try Aldi and Lidl for shopping. Literally halved our food shop cost. Eating more veggie meals brings it down a bit more too.

If you have a big mortgage, have a lot of car expenses and childcare costs that's usually the culprit if you don't think it's your actual spending.

As a single parent who was once on a very low wage and in work benefits, I would cut my own hair, buy second hand clothes off ebay, budget carefully for food and drive an old banger. Takeaways were not possible, eating out a dream and even a coffee with friends would have me raiding the spare change jar. If I didn't have the money, we didn't have it. The kids had one club each - thankfully for one child they chose the free after school option. The other, well, I went without so they could get the experience they wanted.

So, to be clear, if you are struggling on a combined £90k you may need to cancel the hair appointments, ditch the after school activities, not buy new clothes and review your finances and pare it down to a more affordable level.

Remember the show SuperSize v SuperSkinny? Maybe we need a household/lifestyle/income version of that!

Yeah you're probably right, I shouldn't have bitten :-)