To think maybe my NDN is a murderer?

[notanoccultexpert]

Ok, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible, but at the same time, not miss any details out. Lived in our house for 30years - about 16 years ago, a family moved in next door. Mother, Father, 2 sons and 2 daughters (who all appeared to be in their mid-late 30s). 2 daughters drove and worked, 2 sons don't drive and have never worked.

Due to his future behaviour, we nicknamed one of the brothers 'Hulk' (he's also quite stocky), so to make things simple here, we have Hulk and 'Gentle' (his brother).

Incidents when my kids were young:

1. Hulk told me he was keeping a log of when my children made noise in the house
2. Hulk splashed bleach on my ex's car when he parked outside their house for literally a minute whilst picking the kids up
3. Hulk shouted at my young son for knocking to ask for his football, and when I saw him and Gentle next, I had a go at him for it. Gentle was 'holding' his brother back, like he would attack me.

My other neighbours don't like them, THEIR neighbours don't like them.

Over the years though, I got in the habit of saying hello and it became friendly enough. Time passed and the father died, then the mother died, one of the sisters died. I knew all this because they either told me, or, in the case of the sister, they had a big funeral procession, the hearse was parked outside the house for a while, and Gentle told me she died from kidney disease.

ALL through this time, I only EVER saw Hulk out in the garden with Gentle, gardening. Only ever saw Gentle and his sister go to shops, or laundromat. Literally the only time I would see Hulk is if he was with his brother out in the front garden, or gardening in the back garden. None of them go out a lot, but if one of them was walking down the street, it would only ever be Gentle.

Last year my daughter and her partner had a bit of a parking dispute with our other neighbours. They are nice but a bit fussy, and they always asked my daughters partner to move his car when he came over...he never parked outside their house, but they felt like they needed 'more space' for their daughters car. So he would move it, out of courtesy. Until one day he didn't, which resulted in their daughter 'having' to park outside Hulks house (she really didn't need to, plenty of space outside her parents house) - so an argument between them two occurred. A few weeks later, Hulk had asked us about the back yard fence, and we noticed some vines coming through from his side. He denied it, so I opened my back gate to show him. My daughter was also there, as was his sister, and he was stood about a foot away from me (I couldn't back up cos our cat run was behind me). Because he kept rambling, i eventually said, anyway, I've got to get on...and he literally just stood and stared at me, no expression for about 5 seconds....after about the 5th 'I've really got to go', i managed to end the convo and get him the hell out of my yard. Me and my daughter were really weirded out by the way he just stared and ignored me.

But, during this convo, he kept bringing it round to the parking dispute - telling my daughter re our other neighbours 'don't let them dominate you' - not kidding he kept coming back to it, and he must have said this about 6 times...so weird. I mention this because his language was so strange...it was a parking dispute and a small one at that.

So after this strangeness, I realised I hadn't seen Gentle for a very long time. And once I realised it, I started noticing that now only Hulk was doing gardening, and it was only Hulk who went to shops with his sister (they ALWAYS go out together).

And then we (my kids and me) started talking about their back garden. It's not a huge garden, but they already had two sheds side by side at the back. The rest was really lovely flowers. Until Hulk razed the flowers, concreted over and put a massive shed on it. If you look into their garden from our bedroom window, that shed takes up about 70% of the space, then the two sheds at the back as well. There's literally no garden space left, so what he's keeping IN the sheds, no idea.

But where is Gentle? Shed went up after Gentle 'disappeared' because he wasn't helping like he usually would have. I liked Gentle. He would even knock on the door if he needed help with council or anything. I find his brother weird. Now you'd think if Gentle had fallen ill, Hulk would have mentioned it to me during that conversation. The family dynamic is very strange anyway, but I can't stop thinking about what happened to Gentle.

So, what do you think? My kids were saying maybe call the police - but what would I say?

YABU - probably just ill or died
YANBU - he's definitely killed his brother

I wasn’t sure which way to vote as neither option quite fits. It’s possible something sinister may have occurred.

Its wild to me that some of you think I made this up, because of how I structured the info, or the language I used. I've read enough threads on here to know 'drip feeds' are not good...so I wanted to get everything I could think of, going back to when they first moved in. My thinking was - tell them everything and see if they think you're being paranoid. Majority thought I wasn't, and sadly, came up with scenarios I hadn't even thought of, and so I made the call. What happens now is out of my hands. Obviously I hope I am wrong and that he is fine.

@Shr3dding as I said before I’m not basing my assessment of this thread on one word. And no not reported nor am I troll hunter! Just disagreeing with someone on a forum. I find it incredulous per my earlier comment that for the OP the brother can’t simply have moved out. No he’s been murdered & put under a shred b’cos the OP has’nt seen him. B’cos of course she’s permanently monitoring his movements to know this. I’m not the only one to think it’s a story & the level of frenzy encouraging her to contact the police purely to satisfy armchair detectives is concerning.

I reckon Gentle is either sick and indoors, or in residential care for something.

I have a family member of similar ethnicity, married to a maternal first cousin, all their children have varying degrees of learning difficulties which has led to isolation from their wider community and society in general. Not one of them has a murderous bone in their body (and they're all alive!), but I can well see a post like this being written about them.

Mental image of Hulk and his sister.

This all sounds v odd. If it’s true then you’re doing the right thing re welfare check. Hopefully Gentle is still alive and well. As they say, there’s nowt so queer as folk.

well done on making the call. Where they sympathetic?

@GustavMunchkin she doesn't "know" anything, that's the very point. I wouldn't characterise calling the police about a concern regarding a potentially vulnerable neighbour as any kind of "frenzy". I am not given to frenzies and it's exactly what I would have done.

Thank you. Finally a sensible outlook on this.

If you add all the possibly concerning solutions together (died and not reported/killed on purpose or by accident/physically ill/mentally ill/being kept indoors against his will etc) there is a non inconsequential possibility that something is going on that the police or other agencies would want to be involved in. It is probably more likely that there isn't but I for one wouldn't want to take the chance that there was and I had failed to help.

I'm sure you're right, but it would still be a good thing if the neighbours arranged some sort of welfare check, if one of them hadn't been seen for a while.

I don’t think you needed to explain tbh, the MN crowd are fairly astute.

But in a situation with ‘lovely neighbours keeping an eye out for each other’, if one person in a family appeared to be missing, the normal thing to do would be to ask the family who are still there eg ‘not seen John around for ages, is he OK?’.

I understood what they meant - 'yard or backyard' is English and possible American as they also use the term 'front yard', even though they are gardens. In England they are known as 'yards' or 'backyards' and are situated at the rear of a house. If anyone does not know what a yard is then you have been blessed with a garden or brought up in a flat/apartment.

@theDudesmummy ok well we disagree on that. If you were that concerned you’d ask the neighbours themselves, their neighbours or the local shop or “laundromat” as that was the “only” place they ever used to go wasn’t it? B’cos OP knew all their movements. And sorry it is a frenzy more about the🍿than concern for the brother.

You sound very kind @notanoccultexpert
Well done for asking for a welfare check 💐
Hopefully all is ok with Gentle.

Please - PLEASE - do not do this. Please.

In these circumstances, and precisely because they ARE bizarre, you’ve done the right thing OP.
i wouldn’t choose to engage directly with a neighbour who made me feel uncomfortable in the way you’ve described, and asking for a welfare check does not infer any sort of accusation given how private and reclusive this family sound

@ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea

That would normally be the case, but the OP has specified that she does not feel comfortable speaking to the brother directly, and the only occasions that she sees the sister out and about, she is accompanied by the brother.

Agreed. That would be cruel

Hoping Gentle is ok. I think you were right to show concern op.

I work from home and my office window overlooks my neighbour's front door and driveway. I know all his movements and patterns of movements without wanting or trying to. Nothing odd about that!

OP described not wanting to knock on the door because she feels wary of the man. I dont get why some people think alerting the police is auch a nuclear option, it really isn't. Just part of normal local police stuff.

If I had a neighbour I found absolutely terrifying and physically threatening I would definitely not knock on their door.

You've never heard the back yard/garden called a back yard? That's very weird.

Ask the police to do a welfare check with the details you gave. But emphasise that you want to be anonymous (if the police have half a brain cell they will do this anyway but it doesn't hurt to say). And also, don't ask your neighbour directly where his brother is (I know you said you wouldn't. I think you are right not to). Even if they were completely normal neighbours, someone contacting the police because they suspected you murdered your family member would make things really awkward from then on. Him being an odd person anyway you don't want that. So if he was contacted by the police straight after you were asking questions he might think it connected.
So make sure you stay anonymous. And I would continue to avoid stirring weird neighbour. He is probably just ND, but not worth the hassle.