To think maybe my NDN is a murderer?

[notanoccultexpert]

Ok, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible, but at the same time, not miss any details out. Lived in our house for 30years - about 16 years ago, a family moved in next door. Mother, Father, 2 sons and 2 daughters (who all appeared to be in their mid-late 30s). 2 daughters drove and worked, 2 sons don't drive and have never worked.

Due to his future behaviour, we nicknamed one of the brothers 'Hulk' (he's also quite stocky), so to make things simple here, we have Hulk and 'Gentle' (his brother).

Incidents when my kids were young:

1. Hulk told me he was keeping a log of when my children made noise in the house
2. Hulk splashed bleach on my ex's car when he parked outside their house for literally a minute whilst picking the kids up
3. Hulk shouted at my young son for knocking to ask for his football, and when I saw him and Gentle next, I had a go at him for it. Gentle was 'holding' his brother back, like he would attack me.

My other neighbours don't like them, THEIR neighbours don't like them.

Over the years though, I got in the habit of saying hello and it became friendly enough. Time passed and the father died, then the mother died, one of the sisters died. I knew all this because they either told me, or, in the case of the sister, they had a big funeral procession, the hearse was parked outside the house for a while, and Gentle told me she died from kidney disease.

ALL through this time, I only EVER saw Hulk out in the garden with Gentle, gardening. Only ever saw Gentle and his sister go to shops, or laundromat. Literally the only time I would see Hulk is if he was with his brother out in the front garden, or gardening in the back garden. None of them go out a lot, but if one of them was walking down the street, it would only ever be Gentle.

Last year my daughter and her partner had a bit of a parking dispute with our other neighbours. They are nice but a bit fussy, and they always asked my daughters partner to move his car when he came over...he never parked outside their house, but they felt like they needed 'more space' for their daughters car. So he would move it, out of courtesy. Until one day he didn't, which resulted in their daughter 'having' to park outside Hulks house (she really didn't need to, plenty of space outside her parents house) - so an argument between them two occurred. A few weeks later, Hulk had asked us about the back yard fence, and we noticed some vines coming through from his side. He denied it, so I opened my back gate to show him. My daughter was also there, as was his sister, and he was stood about a foot away from me (I couldn't back up cos our cat run was behind me). Because he kept rambling, i eventually said, anyway, I've got to get on...and he literally just stood and stared at me, no expression for about 5 seconds....after about the 5th 'I've really got to go', i managed to end the convo and get him the hell out of my yard. Me and my daughter were really weirded out by the way he just stared and ignored me.

But, during this convo, he kept bringing it round to the parking dispute - telling my daughter re our other neighbours 'don't let them dominate you' - not kidding he kept coming back to it, and he must have said this about 6 times...so weird. I mention this because his language was so strange...it was a parking dispute and a small one at that.

So after this strangeness, I realised I hadn't seen Gentle for a very long time. And once I realised it, I started noticing that now only Hulk was doing gardening, and it was only Hulk who went to shops with his sister (they ALWAYS go out together).

And then we (my kids and me) started talking about their back garden. It's not a huge garden, but they already had two sheds side by side at the back. The rest was really lovely flowers. Until Hulk razed the flowers, concreted over and put a massive shed on it. If you look into their garden from our bedroom window, that shed takes up about 70% of the space, then the two sheds at the back as well. There's literally no garden space left, so what he's keeping IN the sheds, no idea.

But where is Gentle? Shed went up after Gentle 'disappeared' because he wasn't helping like he usually would have. I liked Gentle. He would even knock on the door if he needed help with council or anything. I find his brother weird. Now you'd think if Gentle had fallen ill, Hulk would have mentioned it to me during that conversation. The family dynamic is very strange anyway, but I can't stop thinking about what happened to Gentle.

So, what do you think? My kids were saying maybe call the police - but what would I say?

YABU - probably just ill or died
YANBU - he's definitely killed his brother

Couldn't agree with you more. I get the feeling the OP wants some kind of drama.
I normally like mumsnet and have been here many years but the level of paranoia and judgement on this thread is so off putting.

The odds are he isn't a murderer by the way. But apart from anything else, this sort of awkward misunderstanding could land you right into sitcom territory. So Anononimity is the best route.

I don't think yabu at all!
There's been a few incidents where someone has died/gone missing and it's eventually reported along with raging people saying "What's happened to the world?! How did nobody notice?!"
Hopefully (and most likely) it's nothing sinister and he's just moved out. No harm done. The worst case scenario doesn't bare thinking about but at least you've cared enough to question it!

Sounds like a family with additional needs, if you were really worried you would have contacted the police, not written a long post on mn.

Hi, I do not blame you for not knocking and reporting your fears to Police, as you do not know how the other brother would react. I do not believe you are overthinking, overreacting or any other negative reason. I think you are reporting a metter that could be of some concern whether that be welfare needs for one family member or what is now left of the family. It's a pity that not everyone notices what goes on around them. Hoping the remaining family receive support/help if that is what they want and need, and if there had been a criminal act well that would need investigating so you still did the correct thing. "Minding your own business" is not always the correct thing to do.

Just checking, have you googled him? You wouldn't necessarily have known if he'd have passed away (or gone to prison or any other thing) but a thorough googling of his name might bring up news, death notices, court records or the like.

I think you have definitely done the right thing OP. Please don't start second guessing yourself because of a few negative comments on here. You have gone with your gut instinct, if you are wrong then no harm done, but if you are right you could very well be preventing any further possible abuse or safety issues around your very strange sounding neighbour.

@notanoccultexpert perhaps you could try a gentle approach first, did you ever discuss interests or hobbies with Gentle? If so you might pop round with a book / magazine and say you thought it might interest him. This can then open up the topic in a non obvious way

Exactly
Better safe than sorry

I thought the sister died from kidney failure?

Like Ted Bundy.

There were 2 sisters

Another wannabe detective who thinks that just because people use an instance of American English, they must be AI. Maybe don't quit your day job to open up a detective agency just yet.
I live in the UK but use laundromat, fall, and lots of others, yet I am not AI. Mind blown?

What a catching Title OP and a great way to get everyone arguing.
Done with it here its an absolute circus 🙄

Absolutely not a placemark 🫣

Now you made us curious....waiting for the update of the police eventual action

Oh that me snort. 🤣🤣

British literary editor here.

In British English, 'yard' has always been in use to refer to the rear, hard-surface area (usually just patio flagstones or concrete) without soft landscaping. Therefore, we don't call it a garden.

Commonly, British people, north or south, use yard in the absence of flower beds and grass, most prevalent in instances where the properties are red-brick terraced houses of Victorian or Edwardian age.

'Back yard' is reasonably common; these small yards are most prevalent at the rear of terraces, although front yards are also common in many terraced areas without greenery.

In your front yard, you'd expect the hatch and chute for the coal delivery, possibly also a boot scraper, and the area's bordered by a red-brick low wall, while in the back yard, we'd find the outdoor WC (the lav/loo!) or communal WC. These are the houses where a passageway runs along the back.

Laundromat is in common usage among British people who watch American films or series! Or, of course, who read US English books.

Language is dynamic, constantly in a state of change, so now, we have many American words in our common use. Just as many people say 'movie' as 'film.' I see lots of Americanisms on mumsnet every day. Not only is language creeping across, but we also have baby showers and proms!

😂😂😂

Their mind is definitely big blown but since their ego is big blown resulting in them being big mad — it’s doubtful you’ll hear from them again.

I thought it was absolutely perfect 10/10 no notes.

Love, an American who has started spelling everything the British way thanks to my neighbours here on Mumsnet.

I would have put good money on that we dont say ' laundromat' . I dont think I've ever heard a single person say that.

Are you American then as British people don't say fall or laundromat?

He isn’t even dead! OP is assuming and made this up!

Read the full thread!

Sorry @SilkiePenguin and @DreamTheMoors, as someone who has worked in criminal justice for many many years, 'most' murderers are very much not charming charismatic psychos like Ted Bundy. The small minority that are just make better TV and you hear about more in the news. Many of even those who are notorious like Fred West or Jeffrey Dahmer were weird smelly creeps. And most people who commit 'regular' murders (not serial killers) are lowlifes with addiction and mental health problems. I don't know the neighbours here but there's nothing about weird loner with anger problems and an unusual family set-up that strikes me as off-brand for someone capable of real harm.

I asked for a welfare check on my next door neighbour and the police knocked on my door first to let me know that they were here. Sadly we found him dead.