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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think maybe my NDN is a murderer?

462 replies

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 10:38

Ok, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible, but at the same time, not miss any details out. Lived in our house for 30years - about 16 years ago, a family moved in next door. Mother, Father, 2 sons and 2 daughters (who all appeared to be in their mid-late 30s). 2 daughters drove and worked, 2 sons don't drive and have never worked.

Due to his future behaviour, we nicknamed one of the brothers 'Hulk' (he's also quite stocky), so to make things simple here, we have Hulk and 'Gentle' (his brother).

Incidents when my kids were young:

  1. Hulk told me he was keeping a log of when my children made noise in the house
  2. Hulk splashed bleach on my ex's car when he parked outside their house for literally a minute whilst picking the kids up
  3. Hulk shouted at my young son for knocking to ask for his football, and when I saw him and Gentle next, I had a go at him for it. Gentle was 'holding' his brother back, like he would attack me.

My other neighbours don't like them, THEIR neighbours don't like them.

Over the years though, I got in the habit of saying hello and it became friendly enough. Time passed and the father died, then the mother died, one of the sisters died. I knew all this because they either told me, or, in the case of the sister, they had a big funeral procession, the hearse was parked outside the house for a while, and Gentle told me she died from kidney disease.

ALL through this time, I only EVER saw Hulk out in the garden with Gentle, gardening. Only ever saw Gentle and his sister go to shops, or laundromat. Literally the only time I would see Hulk is if he was with his brother out in the front garden, or gardening in the back garden. None of them go out a lot, but if one of them was walking down the street, it would only ever be Gentle.

Last year my daughter and her partner had a bit of a parking dispute with our other neighbours. They are nice but a bit fussy, and they always asked my daughters partner to move his car when he came over...he never parked outside their house, but they felt like they needed 'more space' for their daughters car. So he would move it, out of courtesy. Until one day he didn't, which resulted in their daughter 'having' to park outside Hulks house (she really didn't need to, plenty of space outside her parents house) - so an argument between them two occurred. A few weeks later, Hulk had asked us about the back yard fence, and we noticed some vines coming through from his side. He denied it, so I opened my back gate to show him. My daughter was also there, as was his sister, and he was stood about a foot away from me (I couldn't back up cos our cat run was behind me). Because he kept rambling, i eventually said, anyway, I've got to get on...and he literally just stood and stared at me, no expression for about 5 seconds....after about the 5th 'I've really got to go', i managed to end the convo and get him the hell out of my yard. Me and my daughter were really weirded out by the way he just stared and ignored me.

But, during this convo, he kept bringing it round to the parking dispute - telling my daughter re our other neighbours 'don't let them dominate you' - not kidding he kept coming back to it, and he must have said this about 6 times...so weird. I mention this because his language was so strange...it was a parking dispute and a small one at that.

So after this strangeness, I realised I hadn't seen Gentle for a very long time. And once I realised it, I started noticing that now only Hulk was doing gardening, and it was only Hulk who went to shops with his sister (they ALWAYS go out together).

And then we (my kids and me) started talking about their back garden. It's not a huge garden, but they already had two sheds side by side at the back. The rest was really lovely flowers. Until Hulk razed the flowers, concreted over and put a massive shed on it. If you look into their garden from our bedroom window, that shed takes up about 70% of the space, then the two sheds at the back as well. There's literally no garden space left, so what he's keeping IN the sheds, no idea.

But where is Gentle? Shed went up after Gentle 'disappeared' because he wasn't helping like he usually would have. I liked Gentle. He would even knock on the door if he needed help with council or anything. I find his brother weird. Now you'd think if Gentle had fallen ill, Hulk would have mentioned it to me during that conversation. The family dynamic is very strange anyway, but I can't stop thinking about what happened to Gentle.

So, what do you think? My kids were saying maybe call the police - but what would I say?

YABU - probably just ill or died
YANBU - he's definitely killed his brother

OP posts:
UnicornLand1 · 07/10/2025 15:00

Jesus, how bored some people are... and others take it seriously, lol.

RavenFinch · 07/10/2025 15:01

AutumnMorning · 07/10/2025 12:12

I cant even begin to find the words after reading this but its completely nuts, to jump to you think the person is murdered is highly unlikely and quite the leap!
Mind your own business OP

Yes, I'm sure the neighbours at 27 Cromwell Street, Gloucester slept well at night after "minding their own business" whilst 12 women were murdered by Fred & Rose West - including 2 x children of Fred, and their youngest joint child (Heather) was buried in the garden at 16 years old.

Yup, "minding their own business" really worked well there. 🙄

Mythreeknights · 07/10/2025 15:05

This is an excellent thread. Anyone who is saying 'mind your own business' is clearly uncomfortable with people knowing what they themselves must get up to...😂

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 07/10/2025 15:05

MN has lost the plot even more so than usual.

So, here we have an attempt to write a story based on someone’s love of real crime, and people are actually taking it seriously and advising the OP to go to the police?

And this isn’t the first one. The other neighbours who, unless they’ve been found dead since last night, have clearly gone away for a few days given that, you know, the curtains are closed and the lights aren’t on, and posters are telling them to call the police? Do welfare checks?

No wonder real crimes aren’t being investigated while the police are wasting their time on this kind of crap.

Sunshineandoranges · 07/10/2025 15:06

Ignore the goady replies. You are being a good neighbour. Comeback when you have an update.

RavenFinch · 07/10/2025 15:06

Anyahyacinth · 07/10/2025 14:38

You sound the worst of this world judgemental and unkind…obsessed with others, instead of living your own life.

Are you the same poster as @AutumnMorning doing a quick Poster ID name change / using a separate account?

The families of the victims of Dennis Nielsen and Fred & Rose West are not grateful to "do nothing / don't interfere" people like you.

It is the "mind our own business" brigade who let serial killers exist and get away with their crimes for so many years.

Mansionscoldandgrey · 07/10/2025 15:09

Did you see Hulk at the weekend? If not, he could have been busy murdering the family in the other thread.

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 07/10/2025 15:12

sofaRunner · 07/10/2025 13:05

OMG! really? wow

Yes!! Obviously I won’t link because it’s too outing but for months my mother kept saying there was something odd about it and she knew the lady and that she wasn’t the type to just go off travelling. She was recently retired and widowed, but not a person known to just take off.

Tuns out the couple (her daughter and daughter’s husband) killed her in a dispute about the building and disposed of her body in the river, but the quite a while later it resurfaced. Fortunately the third person who helped them dispose of the body confessed, otherwise who knows, maybe they would have gotten away with saying it was a suicide.

Shr3dding · 07/10/2025 15:15

UnicornLand1 · 07/10/2025 15:00

Jesus, how bored some people are... and others take it seriously, lol.

Bored in what way?

Shr3dding · 07/10/2025 15:17

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 07/10/2025 15:05

MN has lost the plot even more so than usual.

So, here we have an attempt to write a story based on someone’s love of real crime, and people are actually taking it seriously and advising the OP to go to the police?

And this isn’t the first one. The other neighbours who, unless they’ve been found dead since last night, have clearly gone away for a few days given that, you know, the curtains are closed and the lights aren’t on, and posters are telling them to call the police? Do welfare checks?

No wonder real crimes aren’t being investigated while the police are wasting their time on this kind of crap.

Make your mind up, @notanoccultexpert can't be both making things up and wasting police time can she?

Puregoldy · 07/10/2025 15:17

No one knows but you. In your situation if I was worried I’d report it. After watching the fred west documentary and hearing the neighbours account I wondered why they didn’t report it. It seemed like she already knew!

ZebraPyjamas · 07/10/2025 15:29

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 14:42

I obviously haven't managed to convey how much Hulk creeps me out...not just now, not just since the conversation, but since they moved in really. No way am I knocking on his door.

You explained it perfectly clearly, I don’t know why people keep suggesting you go speak to the scary brother!

WtP · 07/10/2025 15:37

RavenFinch · 07/10/2025 15:01

Yes, I'm sure the neighbours at 27 Cromwell Street, Gloucester slept well at night after "minding their own business" whilst 12 women were murdered by Fred & Rose West - including 2 x children of Fred, and their youngest joint child (Heather) was buried in the garden at 16 years old.

Yup, "minding their own business" really worked well there. 🙄

To be honest, the "neighbours" at No 27 would have seen very little of any goings-on at No 25 as there was a Seventh day Adventist church & path between them.

But I agree with you about minding your own business, sadly many of us reported events there before 1994 but nothing was ever followed up!

Namechange29383929383 · 07/10/2025 15:43

Obviously there’s a chance this is a troll post but if it’s not I’m not sure why so many people are acting like it’s so ridiculous to call the police for a welfare check. There have been numerous cases of mistreatment or worse going on behind closed doors where everyone that gets asked afterwards goes “oh yeah I did think it was weird that they acted like XYZ” but did nothing about it. In the US, police body cam footages are made public and a quick YouTube search will show you a huge amount of videos where police think they’re responding to a simple welfare check and end up discovering something grisly.

Someone called a welfare check on me when I was very young and in the throes of an eating disorder which made my appearance to others at the time concerning. They turned up, saw I was fine and when I apologised for their time being wasted they were very kind and said they’d much rather turn up and find someone alive and well than not turn up and miss something.

AutumnMorning · 07/10/2025 15:44

Anyahyacinth · 07/10/2025 14:38

You sound the worst of this world judgemental and unkind…obsessed with others, instead of living your own life.

Absolutely this 💯

Absentosaur · 07/10/2025 15:54

the worst of this world

?! Do you read the news?

Cometothelightside · 07/10/2025 16:01

Invested and waiting for news.

JFDIYOLO · 07/10/2025 16:02

Have you actually done it, op? It would take five minutes.

GustavMunchkin · 07/10/2025 16:09

Shr3dding · 07/10/2025 14:40

Back yard? Have you really lived such an insular life that you don't know that there are areas of England where back yards are 10 a penny? It's a perfectly normal thing 😁

Yes so insular I’m a northerner myself & like other pp’s am simply picking up on the peculiar construction of this story, it’s use of language & bullshittery. More fool you for believing it armchair detective 🔍

Daygloboo · 07/10/2025 16:12

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 14:51

I don't think it's cultural, I live in a town where most people are Indian. It's not that. I don't think Indian culture/people are strange...I think this family are. The parents were elderly and I was told the sister died of kidney disease. If I had to guess I think the sisters are slightly younger than the brothers.

Are you saying they are an Asian family ? Perhaps they are aware of racism and are trying to deal with a difficult situation inside that house involving Gentle but a situation that isn't actually criminal. Maybe they are suspicious of authority.

RamsaySnowsSausage · 07/10/2025 16:25

Going to check if anyone has suggested concrete shed foundations on that other thread asking how you would get away with murder. Bonus points if their user name is TheHulk.

But seriously, I do hope they are all ok. It sounds so very odd and from what you have written, it's not much to wonder if the remaining sister is not being treated well by hulk. Did they have cars/jobs at any point?

theDudesmummy · 07/10/2025 16:28

I find it really alarming and sad that some people are critical of OP being concerned and alerting authorities to her concern (and are even rude and personal about it). "Minding your own business" literally gets abused women and children killed and leaves vulnerable people without help. I have worked in a job related to crime/domestic violence/mental illness/child abuse for decades. Lots of odd things do happen which people around don't pay sufficient notice to because they are "minding their own business" (aka being selfish and/or lazy when it comes to being a useful member of a community). Of course she should have contacted the police once she realised she felt concerned. Whyever not?

Shr3dding · 07/10/2025 16:35

GustavMunchkin · 07/10/2025 16:09

Yes so insular I’m a northerner myself & like other pp’s am simply picking up on the peculiar construction of this story, it’s use of language & bullshittery. More fool you for believing it armchair detective 🔍

I haven't commented on what I believe but thinking something is made up because it includes "back yard" is just plain silly

No doubt you've reported this thread using your oh so clever troll spotting and as it's still here presumably MN don't share your opinion

theDudesmummy · 07/10/2025 16:38

@GustavMunchkin what is it that you find "peculiar" about the story? A great many "peculiar" things happen every day in a country containing millions of people.

Zempy · 07/10/2025 16:40

I hope Gentle is OK.

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