To think maybe my NDN is a murderer?

[notanoccultexpert]

Ok, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible, but at the same time, not miss any details out. Lived in our house for 30years - about 16 years ago, a family moved in next door. Mother, Father, 2 sons and 2 daughters (who all appeared to be in their mid-late 30s). 2 daughters drove and worked, 2 sons don't drive and have never worked.

Due to his future behaviour, we nicknamed one of the brothers 'Hulk' (he's also quite stocky), so to make things simple here, we have Hulk and 'Gentle' (his brother).

Incidents when my kids were young:

1. Hulk told me he was keeping a log of when my children made noise in the house
2. Hulk splashed bleach on my ex's car when he parked outside their house for literally a minute whilst picking the kids up
3. Hulk shouted at my young son for knocking to ask for his football, and when I saw him and Gentle next, I had a go at him for it. Gentle was 'holding' his brother back, like he would attack me.

My other neighbours don't like them, THEIR neighbours don't like them.

Over the years though, I got in the habit of saying hello and it became friendly enough. Time passed and the father died, then the mother died, one of the sisters died. I knew all this because they either told me, or, in the case of the sister, they had a big funeral procession, the hearse was parked outside the house for a while, and Gentle told me she died from kidney disease.

ALL through this time, I only EVER saw Hulk out in the garden with Gentle, gardening. Only ever saw Gentle and his sister go to shops, or laundromat. Literally the only time I would see Hulk is if he was with his brother out in the front garden, or gardening in the back garden. None of them go out a lot, but if one of them was walking down the street, it would only ever be Gentle.

Last year my daughter and her partner had a bit of a parking dispute with our other neighbours. They are nice but a bit fussy, and they always asked my daughters partner to move his car when he came over...he never parked outside their house, but they felt like they needed 'more space' for their daughters car. So he would move it, out of courtesy. Until one day he didn't, which resulted in their daughter 'having' to park outside Hulks house (she really didn't need to, plenty of space outside her parents house) - so an argument between them two occurred. A few weeks later, Hulk had asked us about the back yard fence, and we noticed some vines coming through from his side. He denied it, so I opened my back gate to show him. My daughter was also there, as was his sister, and he was stood about a foot away from me (I couldn't back up cos our cat run was behind me). Because he kept rambling, i eventually said, anyway, I've got to get on...and he literally just stood and stared at me, no expression for about 5 seconds....after about the 5th 'I've really got to go', i managed to end the convo and get him the hell out of my yard. Me and my daughter were really weirded out by the way he just stared and ignored me.

But, during this convo, he kept bringing it round to the parking dispute - telling my daughter re our other neighbours 'don't let them dominate you' - not kidding he kept coming back to it, and he must have said this about 6 times...so weird. I mention this because his language was so strange...it was a parking dispute and a small one at that.

So after this strangeness, I realised I hadn't seen Gentle for a very long time. And once I realised it, I started noticing that now only Hulk was doing gardening, and it was only Hulk who went to shops with his sister (they ALWAYS go out together).

And then we (my kids and me) started talking about their back garden. It's not a huge garden, but they already had two sheds side by side at the back. The rest was really lovely flowers. Until Hulk razed the flowers, concreted over and put a massive shed on it. If you look into their garden from our bedroom window, that shed takes up about 70% of the space, then the two sheds at the back as well. There's literally no garden space left, so what he's keeping IN the sheds, no idea.

But where is Gentle? Shed went up after Gentle 'disappeared' because he wasn't helping like he usually would have. I liked Gentle. He would even knock on the door if he needed help with council or anything. I find his brother weird. Now you'd think if Gentle had fallen ill, Hulk would have mentioned it to me during that conversation. The family dynamic is very strange anyway, but I can't stop thinking about what happened to Gentle.

So, what do you think? My kids were saying maybe call the police - but what would I say?

YABU - probably just ill or died
YANBU - he's definitely killed his brother

Who’s the troll now? 🤔 Good luck with that

@GustavMunchkin

Don't you think you were possibly a little hard on the OP earlier on, though? It's not as though she deliberately led people to believe that this family had some form of disability or neurodiversity.

Perhaps she should have clarified sooner that she doesn't personally believe them to be disabled or neurodiverse. But that's a lapse of judgement and doesn't deserve harsh criticism. It's not her fault that people have come to false conclusions/assumptions.

I thought that too initially....
Incidentally OP I don't think that you are being nosey or overly judgemental at all. AND I certainly don't blame you or not knocking on Hulk's door. Hope everything works out for them ok.

@SorcererGaherisI think it’s encouraging that she was able to reconsider the impact of her thread & her replies absolutely. I still disagree that this situation warrants a call to the police or a welfare check though. But we are all different & have different view points. That’s as good as it will get from me 🤷‍♀️ And departing this thread - much to everyone’s relief (on all sides!)

FINALLY

Why not? That’s fascinating

That is an incredibly intense and concerning situation you've described. Understandably, you and your children are worried about Gentle's disappearance, especially given Hulk's strange behaviour and the timeline of events. It sounds like you've been a very patient and observant neighbour through some truly odd incidents over the years.

@PuppyKeep You can't search for a death that hasn't been declared. I doubt his brother buried him under the shed then filled in the paperwork for the registrar

THIS! The post is a very uncomfortable read for anyone who works with vulnerable people (who are subject to harms and discrimination for their differences) the staring into the distance, silence could be absence seizures too..the names given tell on OP …the original post was judgemental and unkind ..the sort of thing that led Harper Lee to write To Kill a Mockingbird I think

They are not 'vulnerable', especially not the remaining brother. Nobody was 'staring in the distance', don't know where you got that from. His silence wasn't seizures.

But please, do carry on making shit up.

I'd also like you to tell me where I was unkind?

Was it pointing out that he splashed bleach on a car? Argued with the woman next door? Made me feel super uncomfortable while talking about dominating people? Shouting at my young son? His brother having to 'hold him back' whhile I was talking to him?

Or was it the bit where I talked of how I was worried about his brother?

Which particular bit was unkind?

Please, do tell me...also, I've addressed the 'judgemental' thing....EVERYONE judges people. If you claim not to do so, you're a liar. I judged, pretty early on, this was not a man I felt comfortable with.

Yep, 100% a welfare check.

Aside from all else, nobody seems to have mentioned the other thing going on here, which is that there is a woman who is never allowed outside her home unless accompanied by her domineering, aggressive brother.

Report it.the police will investigate.

Bloody hell @notanoccultexpert you have had a pasting on here.Hope you have got some wine in for this evening. Well done you for addressing the made up crap that other people deduced from your OP.

It sounds like an episode of The X Files.
I bet I would think the same as you- it is very strange that you haven't seen Gentle and I think I would be tempted to have a chat with the police about it. I'm sure they have ways of investigating without raising suspicions that someone is asking questions about Hulk.

I love the sound of your community, I really do agree that it's nice when people aren't so insular and cut off from their neighbours.

I think our communities are poorer for not looking out for each other these days.

I just went back and read OP's 1st post on page 1 incase I was missing anything.

And yep its neurotic and so are some of these replies. The paranoia is off the scale.

I feel sorry for the neighbours in that house being negatively judged unknowingly!

And OP i doubt you're a saint with your kid making so much noise you got a complaint.

Leaving you all to this really uncomfortable thread about a family just trying to get on with their own lives.

I once called the police because I was knocking on a friend's door. She was supposed to have come to visit me. I went to her and no answer. She wasn't answering the phone either.

The police came quickly. Eventually we saw friend safe and well through the window - she had been having a very long soak in the bath and had forgotten about visiting us.

OP has said that the woman works.

She is presumably not accompanied by her brother when she is working.

If my NDN hadnt reported domestic abuse 15 years ago (I didnt see it as that, at the time) 15 years later, that piece of paper would not have got him arrested, me believed and my divorce rushed through.

I thank her every day.

Good point. I forgot that.

I haven't RTFT but have read all OP's responses so I don't think this has been suggested before - but if his sheds are covering basically all his garden this actually isn't allowed under permitted development. IIRC, outbuildings can only cover 50% of a garden.

I understand you've now requested a welfare check, but if you felt something sketchy was going on with the sheds, you could come at it laterally by reporting to the council. They may come round and check the garden/order the sheds' removal. That might unearth things in a less witch hunty kind of a way.

(you know, the way Al Capone got done for tax evasion in the end)

As a 50 something neurodivergent person I’ve experienced all kinds of ignorance and bullying and I didn’t see anything remotely offensive or unkind in your post or subsequent comments!