I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

You are young. You are living the life you want to. Your parents (it sounds) are happy to have you at home. Sounds good.

Personally, I would start putting some money aside. You are making a great saving my not having rent or a mortgage, though I imagine you contribute to expenses at home. You will kick yourself down the line for not putting something aside.

Don't know what job you are in, but If you love travel can you look for a job that includes that? I travelled a lot through work in my 20s and 30s and they were some of the best times.

I think she's planning to go from being reliant on mummy and daddy to being reliant on a hopefully well off man.
Sad really.

You still won't reply to why you need to ask us.

You're coming over as a child throwing their toys out of the pram just because some of your family are questioning your lifestyle.

In the real world we do have to plan ahead though. Unless you're just assuming your parents will stump up?

If your parents are happy to support you then I can't see a problem with it. Just know though that this can change and you'll need to adapt your plans/life accordingly.

But there is a balance to be had. You enjoy going on holidays, you will still crave holidays in your 30s, 40s and 50s, when you have young children etc. The decisions you make now may be the difference between having both or living a life with zero holidays.

Go for it ! I did the same when OPs age . The travelling I did set me up for life and gave me the confidence to do just about anything when returning home. Though I did travel on the cheap and still had savings when i did eventually leave my parents family home at age 31. I had worked long and hard in the chemical industry previously and had spent 6 years saving to travel. Best thing I ever did and that was 40 years ago !

Good for you! I’ve just turned 27 and have a bit of a different setup now I’m a mum to a 12mo, but when I was on full time it was 26k before tax and I still wasn’t able to save LOADS. Saving for a deposit felt impossible as I don’t live near family anymore - I’d absolutely be doing what you do, and it sounds like your dad is fine with it so go ahead!

Let’s be honest the OP’s generation are going to be working until they drop because the cost of everything is crazy and people can’t afford to slam everything into a private pension. I do feel sorry for younger people today because life is going to be very different for them and much harder and they won’t have time to travel when they are older.

As a mother of adult DD, I would probably say that I was okay with this, but I’d be looking for signs that I wasn’t going to be subsiding your chosen lifestyle for ever.

My son can live at home forever tbh, I gave the older kids house deposits.

I wish id just said stay here til marriage
Thats how the housing ladder worked previously people avoided renting.

You say multi generational homes are going to be the thing but how will you afford to be the one providing that in the future

I would be aiming for more of a balance now that you are over 25 between saving and travel. I also couldn't see a way to get in the housing ladder in my late 20s, but due to getting some training in my late 20s managed it eventually in my 30s, but had I not had some savings by that point that opportunity would have gone altogether. Quite literally every penny counted.

Now on my 50s with retirement getting more real and I am glad I now have a mortgage free house.

Travel but like you exploring locally is just as worthwhile and cheaper than going further afield.

Are both your parents definitely happy with this? If so I don't necessarily see the issue, ultimately if you moved out and rented you'd be in the same financial situation at the end of it as your money would be going on rent rather than travelling.
And they're still getting time alone with eachother when you're away.
I would be happy if one of my children did this as an adult as long as they weren't still expecting to be looked after like a child (eg if you pay for your own food, contribute a bit to bills and do a fair portion of laundry and household chores etc)

Folk are relying on inheriting, I'd say.
I think OP maybe thinks she'll have more right to her parent's property than her brothers, because she lives there now.

As long as the members of the family you are living with are happy to have you, you’re contributing to that household so you aren’t being a bit of a parasite I don’t really see how it’s anyone else’s business….
Lots of people hope to travel in their retirement and either don’t make it to that age or ill health prevents it.
I brought a house in my mid twenties because I had saved when the people around me travelled. They then brought in their early 30’s and moved up the property ladder so are now in fairly big houses and stressed. I’m still in the same little house, and probably have more money then ever before because my mortgage payments are minimal.
There is no ‘right’ way to do it and if you’re paying your way and enjoying yourself in a way that doesn’t impact anyone else then I would go for it.

Just read all your posts. Go for it Op. You sound clear sighted about everything. Wishing you well with promotions and continuing travel adventures.

Thatsvfive if your parents are happy for you to live there. If not then it's taking the puss

good for you
at some point you will decide to settle down

Didn't you go to university OP? Most people get a taste for independence there and wouldn't dream of going back to being a perpetual child.

I also think you are dramatically reducing your chances of ever finding a decent partner, not that you have to but it is good to have the option. My grown up children would think someone who needs their parents to put a roof over their head in their mid twenties was sad and inadequate and probably not therefore very attractive.

it's much easier to be young and poor and saving for a house when all your friends are doing it too. By the time your parents let you go your friends will have houses and you will be a bit old for a house share. Your parents may love having you tbere, but if they really loved you they would stop clipping your wings, keeping you in their gilded cage and start encouraging you to stand on your own feet.

I think you need to have balance.

By all means, live at home with your parents if you're all happy with that setup. Enjoy travelling and making memories. You can save up a little each month and still do all that.

It can seem like an unobtainable goal to get a house, but it isn't. It is unobtainable if you refuse to save a penny for it, though.

You mentioned a friend who has saved up a deposit and is unable to buy anywhere yet and what is the point? Well, the point is, that when the time comes and your friend finds the perfect property, they already have the deposit ready to go.

Your parents may not be able to support you forever-and I know this isn't something you want to contemplate (no one ever does) but it's a reality that we all need to face. Unless you know that you're going to be left your parents home in their Will, you do need to have your eye looking forward and planning for the future.

It's great living in the here and now-but I fear doing too much of that and too little future-planning will leave you with regrets further down the line.

I think there is a difference between buying/renting being totally unattainable and choosing not to do either.

Most young people want their independence (and a sex life) away from their parents. And most have a plan like saving for a deposit even for a rental.

OP isn't one of them.

Are you holidaying (travelling) alone or with friends/partner?

I have 2 DDs, one is your age OP, the other is 24. The 26 year old has just completed her PhD and started her 1st job. The 24 year old has a Masters and is now in the 2nd year of her graduate role. Both earn more than you do (not a dig, just a statement of fact). Both live independently away from home. DD1 has been sharing with friends in a rented house since she started her PhD, living on a £20k stipend. DD2 rented a flat alone when she started work just over a year ago. They are both around 200 miles from home so living here was never an option.

Both were able to travel during their studies to the Far East and DD2 plans to go back next year. DD1 took advantage of student rail discounts and has been all over Europe with friends, to conferences etc.

Both have had a LISA or Help to Buy ISA since they turned 18. DD2's is now rather a nice nest egg. I'm just gutted that I'm too old for one. Whilst interest rates aren't great and you can't save that much per year in one, the government tops it up by 25%. Other than the stock market and luck, I cannot see those sort of returns so readily available elsewhere. I didn't have to tell the DDs to get one; they read MoneySavingExpert regularly and it was a no-brainer to them. DD2 will sometimes ask for advice from us, or more now to use me as a sounding board for her ideas, but she is quite risk-averse so will not be looking to buy a property until she has worked for 2 years in the same company. The rent she pays buys her flexibility and, as her company has offices abroad, should she want to change location, it would be relatively straightforward for her.

I would advise you to look at Martin Lewis' advice on LISAs. Even putting £10 per month in it would be a start. Then I would get savings pots going for saving and travel. You can do both if you plan carefully.

There nothing wrong with wanting your daughter to be safe at home with a decent quality of life.

However even if your parents do indeed express “sheer joy” at the thought of you remaining at home forever, i think behind your back they are probably saying “shouldn’t she be saving just a little bit shes never going to be set up in space of her own if she spends all of her money”.

As others have said, put some away. Most of my life Ive had very little spare cash because it all went on bills. I went without gigs, holidays, new cars etc. I didn’t want debt.

I regret some if it. I didn't have the balance right. But I don’t regret having practically no mortgage now and being able to travel amd do things. The problem with you is that you too dont have the balance right - in the other direction to me!

Start putting £100 by per month now. Tell your parents what youre doing. See if they say “dont save, spend it all on travel”. Because they won’t!

i think they will tell you that saving some is good and they are pleased youre getting the balance between fun and future needs right. That they love to see you enjoying life and considering your future. I think they will be so proud of you.

Go on, ask them. Youre so sure they want you to spend every penny on travel and they love it, but deep down i think they are probably concerned about your immaturity and lack of work place ambition in order to earn more to have the lifestyle you desire.

PS it’s just you isn’t it, you haven’t brought a gf or bf to stay with you in your parents house? As that would be out of order.