I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

They might not keep loving it though.
Also, it's normal in most societies (excluding some Asian set-ups) for adults to leave home and stop relying on parental bank rolling. Stand on your own two feet, it's beneficial for your development as a functional adult.

It is your issue though, you're all their children.
You seem to think you can remain living there as long as you like, which simply isn't true.

Enjoy your travelling! Enjoy your youth! I'm nearly 71. Off to Oman tomorrow, then India. January off to Asia on and off for 2 months. Some of my friends say I should stop travelling and enjoy my home, my retirement. I do! When I'm home I love it. I love the planning. Meeting people. Discovering lots of new (and old) places. When I'll be too old to travel alone, I'll stop. In the meantime I keep as fit as possible to maintain my physical independence. Been to too many funerals. Lost too many friends younger than myself. If your parents are happy to keep you under their roof. Enjoy it while you can.

I don't know why you needed to post this @WeCouldBeNice

If you are happy with your choice why ask? It suggests you aren't happy.

We don't know you and frankly no one really cares. Do what you want to.

Because at some point you're going to need somewhere to live?

You do what makes you happy. However, I'd suggest investing a little of your money. The 10% rule is one we used to use when young to help find a balance.

I do agree with doing it while you can. I was taught to go down the road of saving everything & was miserable. It took someone dying for me to see that & go. I love that I don't have anywhere on a 'one day' list & have embarked on many crazy adventures. I also discovered DM, who pushed this ideal onto me, had led a very adventurous life of travel in her early 20's, before she got married.

Eventually though, you will need to support yourself, have unexpected expenses or get a partner who will expect you to contribute. So enjoy & save just a little!

I also suggest taking less, but longer trips, and explore past the cities. Off the tourist trail is where you find the real magic and memories of travel.

I own my own home and am struggling. I can't move out of this house because, although there is a lot of equity in it relative to the price I first paid for it, if I sell I can't afford to buy a place that is equivalent to the value of my property. In other words there is no point in moving out because I won't be able to move to a bigger or nicer property in a better area. I also dread my house needing a major repair because I can't afford it

I do not have children but many of my friends do and not a single one of them ever talks about baby's first steps anymore. In fact, they are hugely relieved that the kids have now grown up and are more like friends. And many of their children still live at home because they can't afford to move out - the cost of living crisis makes that nigh impossible for many.

I think I would prefer to listen to someone's stories about their travels than an endless diatribe on when their baby started walking. How boring your life must be if this is the level of discourse amongst you and your friends.

Op can have dinner parties if she chooses. What's to stop her? Her parents sound lovely and probably wouldn't be averse to that. And many people can't afford to have dinner parties right now - because of the cost of living crisis many are struggling to feed themselves and their families.

Her parents may not go into a care home. Not everybody does.

@Howszaboutthat your outlook on life sounds absolutely miserable. I would prefer Op's lifestyle choice any day.

I’ve travelled and also bought my first property at 30 after scrimping. Trust me now I’m nearing retirement in late 50s and 5 years off being mortgage free and not having to work into my 70s like others around me the travelling isn’t all that. It’s that first flat I’m very grateful for. I’m also very fit and planning many adventures in retirement.

There is a balance and travel doesn’t have to be hellish expensive. It is also possible to have periods in life when you can’t travel. You survive. Maintaining travel is a necessity is a real 1st world problem.

Who dictates “adulting” involves paying huge sums in rent for a dump whilst trying desperately to save for a deposit for a large mortgage which may never be achievable, whilst getting married and having children? The OP is doing sufficient “adulting" by working at a job where she sees she has good prospects, not battening off her parents or living off the state and happily for her, having sufficient funds to enjoy her leisure time as she wishes. “Adulting” can be different things to different people - each to their own. The OP is lucky to have parents who are happy and able to support and encourage her with her current way of life. She and they may or may not want to change things eventually, but for the moment it suits everyone concerned, so why not?
Enjoy yourself travelling whilst it works for you all, @WeCouldBeNice.

You’re holidaying not travelling.

Holidays can be done throughout your life. I wouldn’t sacrifice buying a property sooner rather than later (or not at all) for holidays.

I bought my first property at 29. At 40 I had my first trip to the US. I’ve been to Australia and India, the Caribbean etc. all done after I bought a property and in my slightly older years. I haven’t missed out on seeing the world I just did it later. I’m mortgage free and bloody glad of it.

If you were 100% comfortable with your choices you've not have started your thread.

You sound determined to carry on doing what you are.

Just do that.

No one cares!

There's usually a biological motivation to move out. Put bluntly, having a sex life and then children of your own. Of course many people intend to be childless these days, and there is an epidemic of anti depressant use, which kills sex drive.

I am much older, and feel very sorry that we have created a world like this. You should have had the opportunities I have had.

Yeah I’ll look to start investing, I just hate watching it go down.

YABU. You don't have to save every penny and buy a 3 bed semi next year, but you need to strike a balance between saving every penny and spending every penny. It's quite pathetic to be 25 and have nothing to show for it to be honest. You can't live with your parents forever and there isn't an expiration date on travelling. You're being very selfish.

I think it is very normal to return home for a bit but you are stretching it a tad and also don’t seem to have a plan for the future. If I were your parents, I’d be happy to have you back but I’d be expecting you to be saving some money for the future as well as travelling. You’re still young but not that young anymore. I think it’s also much harder to meet a partner if you’re living at home and your siblings might be worried about that angle if you don’t seem to be in any rush to leave.

You’re also being a bit naive if you think you don’t have to worry at all due to the NHs pension. It is brilliant but you’ll take a massive hit unless you work until at least 68 which most people just don’t want to do.

Sure. But right now I have one and I’m happy? I don’t see the point in making myself miserable now when I am happy and comfortable

Well, she can't, can she?

At some point, hopefully not in the near future, circumstances will change with her parents and the house may no longer be available to her to live in-and as she has siblings-it's doubtful she'd inherit it in its entirety.

Why don't you buy a house, rent it out and use the income to help finance your travels?

Key words: right now.

Do you really think she will be given a mortgage as a single person on a £24k a year salary? Of course she will need to meet someone in order to afford it! I earned double that when I took out my first mortgage but absolutely needed my partner's income/deposit.

WHY are you even asking ?

If you were really happy you'd not ask a load of strangers if it was right.

if you can't justify it to other family members, that's your problem to deal with.

OP, some of these replies are hilarious! That stories of a child’s first steps would make your life experiences “pale into insignificance” 😂😂

I agree with you, I have noticed from my teen years that some women’s only goal in life is to reproduce. I’ve always found it so odd, demeaning and basically a waste. What’s the point of that? You’re here once. You absolutely have to make the most of it in any way you can. Your life is not here simply to be scarified to a child.

I currently have a mix of home owning and travelling, and I’ll never manage to see or do everything I want to see or do! There is so, so much out there and it’s incredible to be able to experience it. I can’t imagine being in my 80’s, looking back on a life where I never experienced anything and now have no more time.

We’ll probably be at war soon so go and enjoy yourself while you can!

I don’t think many people regret the time they spent travelling but divorce in your 30’s and 40’s often means starting almost from scratch so all those years scrimping and saving for a house were a waste of time. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well it’s up to your family and if both your parents are happy that’s fine. Although I worry about the emotional pressure you may be putting on your parents . Perhaps that’s what’s prompted your brothers questioning this set up ?

so you can’t afford to buy at the moment - and because you don’t save even if you get a husband/wife or a better paying job you will still never be able to buy

waiting for the parents to die ? Is that your life plan ? find a richer man to live off ?

people your age earn your wages and rent somewhere

Have your parents always coddled you? Has nobody ever explained anything regarding at least thinking about how you plan to finance your own future?