I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

I agree when it comes to travel they’re incredibly babyish. It makes me incredibly sad. But in terms of living at home, it’s normal.

One is 28! But yes. It’s genuinely astounding to me.

No, it's not.

You're attracting babyish people because you're living a babyish life.

You have nothing in common with people who are living adult lives so you don't have adult friends.

Well the living at home and dependency on parents is linked, surely.

Well, your poor friend but is that the case with other people, do they all live at home? I don't really understand this, as in my DC's generation so the one below the OP's doesn't have that weariness at all IME. Is this what people in their late 20s are like now. If so, I would say living at home is not helping people be happy at all, there is more to life than living a perpetually comfortable life!

I did laugh a bit about you saying "theoretically" you could save the money to spend on a deposit rather than spending it as if this was some sort of crazy unworkable hypothetical rather than how nearly everybody affords to live, but, you know what, as long as your parents are completely happy - and not just in a "for now" way but in a "for the foreseeable future and maybe forever" way then go for it. Why line someone else's pockets to live in a worse place?

I'm not sure why some people on here are acting as if solo travel is strange and unusual either!

In some circumstances a person's property is disregarded for the purposes of financing their care. It would be worth you looking into these property disregards.

I love this for you. I went to Australia on a working holiday visa when I was 28 it was one of the best years of my life. Always travel and stay curious it opens your mind. My daughter is only 15 but if she wanted to do this too I'd fully back her. Was also thinking maybe you could get a job that involves travel, so you could get paid for doing what you love? Or work abroad? You're young, life is for living

I have a friend like that. Much older and afraid to travel anywhere.

I work amongst an office that’s mainly 22-30. Only one doesn’t live at home.

It makes me sad. But it’s part of the reason I decided to go alone. After the Madrid train station incident of 2023 I decided it was enough

Sure.

And this is why you shouldn't live with your parents. There is clearly a connection. You come of as quite childish too.

"Life is for living" at any age surely?

Travel! As long as your parents are ok with nominal rent (which you’ve said they are happy for you to live at home) just travel! We have 4 children and my husband and I met when we worked in Hong Kong together. We’ve always talked to ours about our travels. Our eldest is now living in Sydney and having a ball. I’d really look into their 3 year visa. Mine works in a fine dining restaurant and earns a fortune! Her tips alone pays all her rent and some. She has saved nearly 8k this year and is always out and having fun too! She works long hours but it’s very social. She went out there on her own and has made so many friends. Our next one is going with her boyfriend in January too! They both did degrees and will be able to come home and work with good savings behind them too.

My eldest lived at home for a year and worked all hours to fund her travels and I didn’t ask for rent. But she would cook us dinner, do the odd dog walk and generally pitch in and help. I miss her so much but I’m also so happy with the life she has.

For me, the memory of my travels I did all through my 20s will last me a lifetime although the travel bug has never truly gone but it’s more holidays now!

Go and see the world but I’d definitely try and live abroad to get a true sense too! Life is for living!

That sort of approach can work out for some people. I think it depends on when you realistically are going to want a change, as some things need quite a big lead up.

DH's younger siblings had a similar attitude to you. They said they didn't see the point of renting when they could build up a deposit living with their parents.

Fast forward a few years and they certainly saved some cash but are only just starting to find their independence. They didn't really get anywhere with dating whilst living at home and even now they've moved out are finding relationships more complicated at this point as people are a bit more set in their ways. Meanwhile most of their friends are now at the marriage/children stage, having already lived together for several years, and it's apparent that his siblings are now starting to feel a bit out of sync.

I think as long as you’re putting some savings aside and you’re contributing to the household why not? We’ve said to all our kids that they’ll always have a home with us and they’re great company. One is autistic so may choose to live with us till they’re much older. I’ve said to my kids, I want them to travel and see the world as much as possible. Rent is insanely expensive and as long as they were helping at home, cleaning, making meals, contributing to bills I wouldn’t have an issue. My DH lived at home until we moved in together because rental prices were so high in his area.

As long as you and your parents are happy and you’re not taking advantage by not contributing, f**k everyone else.

I think it's generally fine if you're all happy with it. My mine thought was that it's good you are balancing travel with career so that you can ultimately earn more. However, I would encourage you to start putting away a small, regular amount in savings. I just set up a direct debit into a savings account. You may not be desperate to move out now, but once you are at a stage where you do want to move (especially if it's quite some time from now so those small sums add up) I feel you may thank yourself for having some savings.

Well, OP, if you admit to one of 3 things on MN you can be sure of judgemental responses. 1. Living with parents 2. Not driving. 3. Drinking coke.

I think you're just choosing to surround yourself with other people who haven't really grown up.
I'm 30, and this just isn't anything I can relate to. My friends aren't anything like this.
Why haven't you made any friends who like to travel? Is it because you usually go with uour brother and parents really?

@WeCouldBeNice Does living with your parent’s impact your dating life?

OP if your parents are happy to have you living in their house and paying them rent then go for it. But don't kid yourself that you are a "traveller" - a few trips to London or to Grand Prixs doesn't make you adventurous or daring especially when your parents are subsidising it by letting you live with them.

I really can't see where you think this is taking you? How will you ever move out if you continue like this? Will a promotion make that much difference? (And even then you seem vehemently opposed to saving money?)

To be an adult you have to think long term and short term. It's great to plan city breaks and enjoy yourself, but you also have to think about where you want to be in 5/10 years time. It's part of life. Dull, but there you go.

If you don't start saving anything towards a deposit/pension now, then it's only going to get harder, and in a few years time all these little holidays you go on won't seem quite so amazing if you're still living with Mum and Dad like you're still 17.

And a few people have commented that your choice of role (low paid, must have very flexible leave policies for all this travelling) is also not a very grown up choice so you're around people in similar circumstances.

Living with your parents at 26 with no intention of leaving is what I would consider a problem. I love my kids and really enjoy their company (both in their twenties) and have told them they always have a home here, but I would be worried if they saw it as their forever and only home.

Personally, it wouldn't be because I didn't really love my DC's company - I do but I feel by 26 it is a bit of a Peter Pan lifestyle, when do you get to grow up and have the freedom of living independently, without the omnipresence of your parents? I feel sorry for people in that predicament as it is so much harder now if you have no family wealth and an average paying job.