I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

Not once have I said my future is tied up. I have said multiple times I’m not relying on an inheritance because I know it’s not guaranteed.

And the F1 circuit fits in with your annual NHS leave?

OP I think you are heavily influenced by quite unusual role models. A grandmother who spent her last week crying before her death that she had had kids and hadn’t travelled. Most people don’t behave that way.

I don’t really see you as that unusual in how you live your life actually. You are a 20-something living at home having a few mini breaks. Lots of 20 something are like you and not that financially astute.

Your parents are encouraging you not to save. Do you think they are very knowledgeable about finances currently? Would you say they are well educated in all financial matters? Do you think they are the people who are giving you correct unbiased advice about the future.

I don’t think you need to do anything drastic. Maybe save a bit and then carry on having European mini breaks. It doesn’t have to be the big deal you’re making it out to be. You are hardly travelling the world in a minivan.

If you do meet future partners though, you might want to think about getting a place of your own. Though I can imagine in your household you would all be cosying up downstairs together, with you and your partner not needing any time away from your parents!

It's because the women often bear the burden of care, as wives, mothers, daughters/daughters-in-law, child/child-in-law. It's often quite oppressive for the females.

You're contradicting yourself.

Stop being coy.

You are not facing destitution in your old age or ever, you have a massive safety net which you are happily lounging around in.

By all means enjoy it, but don't compare your struggles to people who actually have to make choices rather than focusing on "incredible experiences."

Being scottish, this amused me.

Of course you're relying on your inheritance. Do yourself a favour and own how privileged you are. You are lucky, enjoy it and drop the faux struggle narrative.

Again, it's not for existing. Don't charge him if you don't want to, but stop saying he's covering his expenses when he's only covering travel and fun, and saving the rest.

Some people seem to think adult children should suffer just for daring to exist

As in, Formula one?

🤷🏼‍♀️ Taking holidays/city breaks is NOT travelling.
Stop deluding yourself.

My son rented in a city, hated it, then lived at home. Was unhappy so took off for a job in Bermuda. Amazing company. Came home six years later. Set up his own business, fell in love. They both saved for the first home then which we helped with.

Follow your own path.

Why will you never have enough deposit? Save over a period of time to get there, thats what most people do. Unless you want to live with your parents forever

No one is angry but it's very noticeable that you avoid questions you don't want to answer.

I asked several times if you have a student loan- no response. (That makes a huge difference but you are not yet in the salary range to repay it.)

I also asked if your job is a grad level job and how long you've been in it- no response- because it's low pay regardless of you being in Cornwall or Devon etc.

It's up to you and your family what you do BUT it is possible you are not learning any 'life lessons' by your parent's generosity.

You're not learning to budget, or live with other people (so you learn to compromise and be considerate), you aren't progressing very far in a career and although you talk about 'promotion' it's not clear how much more income that would give you. And you're not learning to be emotionally self-reliant.

These are all things people should experience and learn in their 20s in order to be mature adults.

Yes, the inability to answer makes me question the whole thing.

So same poster who made thread before about " travelling" and not needing to be " uncomfortable" to get on in life

Well now it all makes sense!

Paying rent isn't 'suffering for daring to exist' though.
Why shouldn't an adult pay their way exactly?

Presumably because he is younger...

If your parents own five properties I would say you don’t have a lot to worry about and you know that. Your whole pov is very much based on the knowledge you have a great safety net in place, which most people don’t. Most people of around late 20s (or sooner) start to yearn for their independence away from their parents (regardless of whether they can afford it or not) but you don’t seem to have any need at all to break away from your parents, which as a parent myself, would concern me. What is your living arrangement at home, just a bedroom and everything else shared, or do you have a more annexed section with a living area for your friends or any dates to go to, for you to have some social settings in private?

If my parents had 5+ properties I’d do the same as OP. Bluntly that lol.

I’m not relying on an inheritance because I am all too aware that it can be eaten by care costs etc.

Are you aware that living at home with no real responsibilities can make you less mature emotionally, simply because you're not being exposed to the decisions and choices many people in their mid 20s are?

Yes, I mean, I don't live with my parents who are divorced, in fact I live 4 hours away from one of them and I very much wish they were in my location as now I'm in my 40s, a Mum, a wife, I very much feel and am by default the main organiser of everyone's life. It isn't really an active choice, I don't and wouldn't want to abandon my parents or MIL and I'm not afraid of responsibility but the reality is I am the person by default. I can't imagine how that would have felt if I was my Granny's generation, who was effectively a Mum to her much younger teenage brother as well!