I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

Sheer joy 😂

I have no doubt they are happy for you to stay, I would be happy for my own daughter to stay with us, but sheer joy is pushing it a bit! That would be something reserved for a pregnancy or wedding announcement or some other event or achievement.

Travelling is great to do while you’re young. My niece is much younger than you and has already travelled round Australia and most of Asia. Difference is; she already has £50,000 safely tucked away for a deposit.

At some point, you will want to grow up, even if you don’t feel like it now. You change so much between 20-30.

Don't make the mistake of thinking you'll get a decent pension on the NHS...those days have long gone.

Personally I would be worried about no options to move out with no money saved for deposits. DH and I had loads of fun mid twenties in shared house accomodation, then a tiny flat together and did quite a few holidays, not travelling as I did that late teens and again very early 20s. But in our day (we are early to mid 40s) you didn't want to be living with your parents as too awkward and too calm i.e. bedtime at 11pm, no parties, keeping the noise down etc.

I was a lot like you at that age. But I was also living alone in a little flat.

I think you do need more of a long term plan... Your parents are being incredibly generous, putting you up indefinitely, with seemingly no demands on you. But you do have to think about worst case scenario... What if they both died tomorrow? Your brothers wouldn't be unreasonable in wanting to sell the family home, and you'd be outnumbered. Where would you go/what would you do then?

I mean, perhaps you'd get enough inheritance to be able to buy a small place, or start to rent somewhere, but what would you do in the meantime?

What's your plan for 10/20/50 years from now? A partner? Kids? Or if you plan to remain single (which is totally cool!), really you need a paid off, or almost paid off mortgage by the time retirement comes around, or you're not going to be able to afford to live.

By all means, have a few more years of living as you do - make the most of it. But by early/mid 30s you need to be taking the goggles off and making provisions for future you.

No it’s not really bad to do this. If you are happy and your parents are happy, why not?

It doesn’t seem like it’s forever (which would BU) you talk about priorities changing in the future and getting promoted and saving then. You are still v young.

I’m not sure what you want out of the thread TBH. Just clap back at your brothers with your reasoning like you have all the posters on this thread and you’ll be grand.

Aren’t you ever planning on moving in with a partner one day? Or a friend even…

Enjoy, you're progressing in your career, save even a 10th of your monthly income, start worrying about it at 30.

I don't think 26 is very young though, it's young but it's not very young. Late teens, early 20s doing this v young but if the next big birthday is 30 it isn't very young.

They may be just concerned for you. There comes a point where your peer group will judge you for living at home and you will find it embarrassing. You won’t think or feel it now as you’re still in your 20s, but when you get to 45 are you going to comfortable telling dates, colleagues etc. that you still live with your mum and dad and have NEVER moved out?

Why should I charge him rent?

There is a balance to be had. Travel and fun alongside future planning. It does not have to be one thing or the other. In ten years time you will look back at this thread and cringe at your naivety.

Yeah the thing is it's our job to help you become independent, not to keep you at home in some infantilised state. I actually have a dear friend who is still at home approaching 50 and travels incessantly. I've stopped traveling (can't say I did much, but enough for me) and have kids and been living alone since quite young.

I wonder what will happen to her when her parents die. I mean sure, she'll inherit a house so will be housed, but I reckon it could ruin her life. She still speaks to her parents in a way you speak to your parents when you're a child.

It'll be a heck of a shock when they go. I assume you'll be their live in carer if you remain like this though? That could be where the joy comes from but I would say that's really selfish of them because that will not be fun.

@WeCouldBeNice My home town is in one of the most deprived areas of the UK. I don't live there now but I am very much on the ball with rents and house prices as they affect my family there.

I know you could rent somewhere half-decent for around £600 a month and it's not unrealistic you could buy a house for £125K.

Maybe your parents instead of subsidising you now could give you an early inheritance as a deposit?

Be careful, staying at home will result in you looking after your parents as they age, in about 10 years you'll find a role reversal taking place. As you live cheaply at home the expectation will be for you to look after your parents. I know people who have stayed at home, enjoyed their money and when they earn enough to move out they can't because they need to look after parents

Make sure you go to Burning Man.

It's up to you whether you teach him that he has to pay his way or not, clearly, but someone not paying rent isn't covering all their outgoings.

How would a multi-generational home work if there are siblings who don’t live in the family home? It’s not fair to leave a property to just one sibling on the grounds they failed to launch while the others get nothing.

At 26 yrs old I spent all my disposable cash on expensive stuff. I didn't start saving till I met my DH and even then saving for a house in London was impossible whilst paying rent. At least you are saving to make memories so I voted YANBU. I do think though a house/emergency fund is good to also prioritise alongside your travel savings.

I think there's a balance. I'd be making the most of living at home and going on a few trips away, but also saving as much as possible because you'll never be in a better position to do so.

From your age, I was making small AVCs into my pension because I've always known I wanted to retire at 60 and compound interest is a thing.

I'd be thinking longer term. Honestly, it goes quicker than you ever thought possible.

I think you're doing the right thing for now. Ignore the relatives putting you down. There are no medals awarded for living in grotty accomm, perhaps sharing with difficult people, and paying for the privilege. You're clearly mature enough to be able to continue living with your parents. Many people of your age aren't. A lot of the replies you'll get are rooted in a culture that seems particular to the UK, US and Australasia. There doesn't seem to be as much pressure to move out in European countries. Enjoy your travels for now, and enjoy the extra time you have living with your parents, and move out when the time is right for you, not when others think you should.

I bought my home when I was 25 and I feel such a massive relief that it's done and I've got that secured forever - provided I can keep up with my mortgage (which is very reasonable). I wouldn't be able to relax being 26 knowing I had nothing secured for myself except some holidays. I always wanted a family though - to have children I knew I needed stability and a home. I ended up having to have lots of fertility treatment and I would have been so stressed spending that money whilst not having bought a home. I guess it depends what you want out of life. Lots of people do see their 20s as a time to have fun rather than put down roots. There's no right way it just depends what matters to you most.

I’m not going to be travelling to Bali

I was with you, more or less, until you said this, OP! If you're really going to have enriching travel experiences at the expense of potential future security it should be more than a weekend in Milan, surely. Most people who are working manage some UK and European holidays anyway. Can you take some time off work to really go somewhere special - it doesn't have to be Bali or anywhere on the well worn backpacker trail but just a real adventure?

I’m sorry, I’m going to say it again. Start a LISA. You can travel, and enjoy life, and live at home and still do that. There is no downside to starting one. Ignore it if you don’t like watching the fluctuations.

Both my boys live at home there 25 and 20 and happy and i've told them to enjoy there lives there off to ibiza on saturday together again oldest going to Thailand for 3 weeks begining of the year said enjoy while you can

I bought my first house on that salary because I’d saved up every spare penny and had a big deposit living at home. Didn’t happen by accident. The salary isn’t the problem in and of itself