I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

What were you doing at 26?

You seem quite upset with the OP. Do you currently have an adult child you wish would move out?

Our costs don't magically increase because he's here with us. We have 3 DC in total. They are all happy to live with us as long as they like.

Do you worry that although you’re happy now, in 10 years time you might want your own place but as you’ve not saved anything it’ll then take you 5-10 years to have the possibility of moving out leaving you in your 40s and still at home? It’s great living in the now but you do need to consider what you want in the future too. You seem determined to ignore the future. Are you hoping that your mum and dad will let you live at home indefinitely or give you money to move out as you moving out with your own money is unlikely due to you spending it all?

But in a lot of those cultures the unmarried woman would be expected to act as unpaid skivvy. Hardly aspirational.

Main thing. Why are you only earning under £25k

But usually in those cultures you are expected to pool resources and spend sensibly. Older generations have much more of an input into where money is being spent to benefit everyone, they would want to see that enough is saved and enough is put into getting a decent career so that the younger generation are ready to fully support them once they retire.

I think you're being very naive. I was the same in my 20s - travelled a lot and didn't really think about buying a house or saving much. Although I was renting so couldn't save much.
But then I met my husband at 29 and we wanted to buy a house together. It took a long time saving for a deposit and now we both regret not saving and buying earlier in life. We are now in our 40s and still have a huge mortgage whereas friends who bought in their 20s have nearly paid it off and will probably be able to retire earlier than we will.

I don’t know. I started aggressively saving around that age. Living at home and really trying to go no spend for a few years is the only possible way to do it quickly. It was no fun but I now am on my second home and I am happy and reasonably secure.

I do tell people to travel more. It is a regret. Not a deep one really, and I still would have done those no spend years. But once we had the first house; I really mean pre-kids. Not pre-house.

But then if we did do that we wouldn’t be living in house 2 we have now. Tbh I probably would have done it exactly the same even if I do say that’s a regret.

I have friends now who didn’t prioritise. We are mid 30s. Once you move out it is pretty impossible unless you earn £100k+ or find a partner who has a home already. I don’t see how they will ever have homes.

So I do think it’s a bit silly. But it’s your life.

@WeCouldBeNice Doing mini breaks isn't the same thing as travelling. Travelling is downing tools and taking a number of months off work and going on an extended experience abroad.

There is nothing wrong with having some enjoyment in life. With real estate prices being so high, the barriers to ownership are huge, with rent being of equal proportions. Young people can't be expected to simply live to pay the rent or save every single penny for a deposit with no leisure - past generations were not asked to do this.

You do have to look to the future however. How long do you plan to live it up? 12 months? 24? 36?

Why not set a timeframe in which you will go on these trips, make a bucket list and then commit to saving for a deposit or renting?

Normally I’d say get on the property ladder asap but your set up sounds great, everyone is happy and you’re still very young!
You’ve plenty of time to start saving more in the future ….. but if you can afford ISAs I would as it’s a good way to save. Sooner or later buy don’t rent if possible.

Pointing out reality isn't being upset.
With regard to what I was doing at 26, just moved into my flat on my own - started saving for a deposit as soon as I was able to, with no parental contribution (partly during, mostly after finishing my PhD). I had lived in 2 different rented accommodations previously. I also managed to visit America 3 times while saving.

OP I just don't understand why you must spend all your money on travel. Why can't you save some for the future? Unless you plan on living at home forever you'll have to start saving at some point - even a couple of hundred a month would have stacked up nicely by now.

Yep, but you are subsidising adults once they're earning.

That's actually very similar to me. I moved abroad at 25 (after completing PhD, also visited America 3 times!)) but I did flatshare for a while. Bought my first house (alone) at 31.

Had no plans at all to buy at 26 though, I did not even live in the country where I ended up buying my house.

Pray tell me how? All his outgoings he pays for himself? Why should I charge him for living with us, when I never did at all when he was at school?

For many people (and OP is in the NHS) buying as a single person is not possible.
There is nothing wrong with pooling resources with someone either partner or friend.

Being able to be independent is great but we are not solitary beings. There's nothing wrong with doing things with others as long as relationships aren't exploitative. This obsession with independence and moving away from supporting family in this culture isn't good for anyone. No village to raise children anymore, no caring for the elderly or disabled in the family anymore. No wonder there's a mental health crisis and social care is costing the country a fortune.

You sound like a very young 26 and your parents are not encouraging you to "launch" as it suits them to not have an empty nest yet.

For most the shine of staying with mum and dad wears off, it's natural to want to be independent as we mature. The shine of having you there might also wear off on your parents too once the stop seeing you as "young" and still at home.

Essentially you are an adult and you get to choose how to adult in your own way, be aware though when that shine wears off and you have no savings for a deposit you may regret it. Whether that is to contribute as an equal with a partner or getting the first step on the property ladder on your own.

On a salary of £25k it is going to take a few years to save a decent deposit/enough to set up your own home and makes sense to start asap.

Your parents also only regret not travelling because they went for stability instead. If they did the travelling they would possibly be sharing their regret of not investing in their future home instead.

I think as long as you recognise you're in a very privileged position thanks to the generosity of your parents supporting you at your age and accept that it is likely to end at some point and plan accordingly it's between you and your parents as to whether it's acceptable..

I do, however, think it is naive not to make any kind of onward plan for when you need to move out from your parents (whether your choice or circumstances dictate it- none of us know what the future holds!) so I would think about saving something. The whole point of savings is that it 'sits there' (as you put it) accruing interest until you need to use it.

Enjoy your travels!

I think a lot of posters on here are missing the point that you are single and not on a massively high wage so it’s not as easy as saying just putting some money aside each month and you’ll be able to buy somewhere in a few years. The majority of people in their 20’s (and often 30’s) can only move out when they are doing it with a partner.
Enjoy your freedom and travel! All the boring stuff will still be there when you get back.

I went to uni. I live in one of the most deprived areas of the UK with low wages. But as I’ve said multiple times I am actively looking for promotions!

Ok so you went to university.
Did you live at home then or live away?

It doesn't make sense to say you're in a deprived area and on a low wage. NHS salary bands are the same across England other than London weighting.

Actively looking for promotion within the NHS (presumably admin) isn't ever going to make you rich.

Why are you focused on the NHS?

If you're in a deprived area, houses will be very cheap. So even more reason for try to buy even on £25K.

Ha ha, well done on the PhD!
I briefly considered moving to the US but then realised it wasn't for me. I'm glad I bought when I did, even though that flat is long sold and the profit long gone!

Why assume that you would get a travel bug out of your system? Doesn't necessarily work like that. I know many people who end up working at various places round the world and moving countries every couple of years.

Optmight be better doing a working holiday visa somewhere

Indepence was great for me.

Omg, as if everyone's ambition is to host dinner parties and have kids. How boring. I have to be honest, as a 35yo married homeowner, I find stories about travelling much more interesting than stories about someone's kid (which I invariably find very dull). I get that it's interesting to the parent. It's not interesting to the rest of us.

OP, I could not have lived with my parents into my 20s, but I understand why this generation are rejecting the job, marriage, house, kids pipeline. What's the point of saving for a future we're not sure will exist? I've paid into a pension since I was 22, but I'm not convinced I'll ever get that money.