I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

He's not being subsidised. He pays for all his outgoings.

Not paying rent is being subsidised.

What you are doing now sounds great.
Lots of strange posters on the thread who for some reason are reading different motivations into what you are doing, which is really more about them.

You probably will want to move out at some stage, it will just naturally happen and if you get promoted, etc. you can save then.

You mentioned your mum in an abusive marriage though - I didn't see if you said that she had got out of that, I am assuming she did?

You sound quite spoilt and immature OP. I get it because you’re in your 20’s and your parents are facilitating this lifestyle that most people would love to have. However, it means that you haven’t really “grown up” yet and while it’s fine in your 20’s, it gets a bit more tragic in your mid 30’s to still live at home with no savings or property to your name. If you were a bloke, women wouldn’t want to date you because you would be considered to have failed to launch. I know this sounds harsh but I think it is beyond foolish to not be thinking about the future at all. Travelling is fine but there should be a balance.

I went to uni. I live in one of the most deprived areas of the UK with low wages. But as I’ve said multiple times I am actively looking for promotions!

Things don't 'just naturally happen' if you prepare to plan for or actively save toward them.

Yes I’m not quite sure where they’re getting the idea from that I expect someone to bankroll me. I’ve not once said that! Also not sure where they’re working out I get £1900 a month after tax. I wish!

Living at home and spending the bulk of your salary on travelling is totally fine, but it would be very sensible to save some of your salary too. I’m fact I’d say it would be very unwise no to, you never know what’s round the corner.

would it really be such a hardship to put 20% into an ISA each month?

Yes, it sounds more like an average 18 to 21 year old, not someone closer to 30 than 20.

And yes - mum is out of the marriage. It was before my dad.

You're expecting to live in a house that someone else has paid for and maintained, and have no real long term plan regarding your housing. HTH

Disagree with your comment regarding LISA the government tops it up by 25% it’s a great way to build a desposit. Especially if you do a stocks and shares LISA the money can significantly grow long tern.

I don't see any problems with what you're doing for right now, if it suits you and your mum and dad.

However, at 26, I think the time may shortly come when you feel a yearning to be more independent. Your salary is very low for your age, and in your shoes I'd be looking to increase that fairly quickly by applying myself to moving up the career ladder as fast as I could. That way, you can potentially be earning enough to save for a deposit while still taking some trips. Win-win, as you're future-proofing yourself and giving yourself the means to change tack if and when your feelings and needs change in the future.

I have friends who did the same in their 20s then met someone in their early 30s and did the saving and house buying then.
Just do you, we only get one life. Live it the way you want to live it.

When I was 22, I listened to much to the media and older figures in my life. I did all the “right stuff”. I lived at home, saved every penny, didnt buy avocados or coffee haha, and got a second job at a weekend. Squirrelled away every penny. So did my boyfriend. We got together a small deposit and bought a house in a cheaper area about 40 mins away from all my friends and family. It was like textbook what they tell you to do.
When we split up, neither could afford to buy the other out and I found myself 27 and back in my mums box room with nothing to show for it.
My point is, you can do it all “the right way” and it can still go tits up. Realistically I won’t get on the ladder again without a partner. I save a bit every month but also spend how I like.
I’m now 28 with no plans to move back out any time soon. Me and my mum enjoy each others company and it works for us both. Plus I just did a solo trip to Jordan and saw Petra, and I think I’m gonna drop 3k on doing the Inca trail solo in 2026!

So, at all points, at least partly dependent on another person, nothing alone?

Okay. We won't charge him for existing. We can afford this. I know others cannot.

I think I would want to have a bit of savings for a rainy day but otherwise why not! You may meet someone on the future and decide you want to start saving for a house/rental deposit then but at the moment you are saving to travel and that’s fine if you parents are happy.

Where have I said that? You just don’t like that I lift with my parents.

Rent isn't charging someone 'for existing'.

You haven't said it, but it's what you're doing.
You asked for opinions.

I do think you’re a bit U, as you’re essentially restricting what your parents can do. Plus it’s possible to have some really nice holidays and still save some money, it’s not either/ or.

I’m now in my 40s and have far less disposable income than when I was in my 20s (mainly because I had kids!) and even I look back and wish I’d saved more at that age. And any of my friends who missed getting on the property ladder and ended up renting into their 40s, some with families, are absolutely miserable. Terrible landlords or even worse having to do house shares.

I think in your position I’d dial down the holidays a bit and start saving for a deposit for a couple of years whilst you’re still at home.

In most cultures, it would be considered weird for an unmarried woman to move out. As long as you are not taking the piss and have your mum skivvying for you, I would say it’s fine.

No, not in 'most' cultures, perhaps some.
It's perfectly normal in Europe, Australia, America, Canada, etc etc.

What do you mean by it being pointless to put away money in a LISA because it will ‘just sit there’? You can use LISA money to go towards your first home (if it’s under £450k) or withdraw it after you turn 60 to use for your pension. You can choose to either have a cash or stocks & shares LISA, depending on what best fits your situation, so I don’t agree with this - sorry.

I think putting some money in a LISA - or other savings product - actually makes a lot of sense. I also think saving each month towards a rainy day/emergency fund makes a lot of sense - even if you can’t save much at the moment - just in case you have unexpected expenses to pay at some point.