AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

I know a couple who were quoted nearly x10 more then this for a pianist to play at their wedding, so you seem very out of touch.

BUT I think what the pianist said about playing at your next wedding uncalled for. She should have given you a flat no and not brought your marriage into it.

Jesus @Bamsmam, just get a randomer to play the piano well at your actual wedding for nothing. Talented people taking the piss wanting to be paid for their time and skill. Honestly CFs!

But she isn't your mate🤷‍♀️

You’re not a mate though so why would you expect mates rates. You were a referral. It’s really rude to expect a massive discount from someone you don’t even know simply because you think you deserve to pay the bare minimum.

But the pianist isn't your mate so why would you get mates rates?

Even piano teachers charge at least £50 for an hour lesson and you are surprised that a fully trained professional pianist would charge double that? You insulted her skills-good luck finding a pianist that doesn’t sound like a drunk Les Dawson for less.

I absolutely cannot believe you told her you thought it was too expensive! The mutual friend and the pianist will be talking about what a cf you are!

If you show you disrespect others time and talent, expect them to be rude to you, you deserve it!

£220 is very very cheap! I say this as someone who got married 10 years ago and live in the "cheap" north!! How much did you think she'd charge 😅 £20?! Maybe just make a play list of piano tunes and play that if you can't afford an actual pianist?

You were rude first, and you're not her client because you've decided it's out of your budget.

£100? Now I really am beginning to think this whole post is a joke. You want someone to play for 2 hours, plus travel time and costs, plus set up time, warming up and practice of the chosen pieces beforehand for £100? That’s not even taking account of the years of dedication and hard work.

The good news is that you’ve got a few months before April. One of your guests, I’m sure, can learn the piano in that time. After all, it’s nothing complicated and I’m sure they can have a bash at knocking out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

You should have just replied saying thank you but it’s outside our budget. £220 will include agreement of song choice and style with you, travel time and costs to venue, getting there early and getting set up, invoicing you and will pay tax. It sounds like out of touch on fees if you also felt 5-6 hours music quote was extortionate.

This is hilarious - is it a serious post? 220 is a very good price for what you want. Btw, if you're still looking, it's best to be aware it isn't just for 2 hours work. As well as paying for the skills, practice and experience of the performer, the price you're given will also cover their time and costs for planning, travel, etc. Even a short gig tends to block out the day for any other work unless you're very lucky with location and timing.

Maybe a CD would be more in budget.

£200 for 2 hours for a professional pianist is pretty cheap. What were you expecting to pay? I don't think she was rude

I know someone who agreed to play the piano at a friend’s wedding. They also under estimated the effort and time it takes to be a good musician.

The problem is they hadn’t played in years and they didn’t book lessons to learn the pieces with a pro. I heard the practice. It was an absolute shit show. Luckily they sacked themselves but not until the day before.

you were quoted mates rates but it sounds like you were rude in your response.

if you don’t want to spend £300 on a musician then don’t. But don’t be rude in the process. Just buy the premium Spotify and stick on a playlist you like. The guests won’t care if it is live or Spotify.

Ouch. How incredibly rude of you OP.
I've got second hand embarrassment on your behalf!

Is the mutual friend aware of this interaction?

She doesn't know you, why would she give you mate's rates? You aren't her mate 🙈!!!

You are so unbelievably rude, ignorant and unreasonable. Surely this is a reverse?!!

Is this a reverse?

“Money for old rope”?! You sound nuts.

But she's not a professional "wedding pianist"! Is my point! She does other things too!

As far as I gather she plays in all sorts of places. This is a nice venue and we are nice people and I was not expecting to be spoken to so rudely. At all! Making personal remarks about my relationship, is not on. I think she was insecure because I called her out.

I think she's brilliant - she knows her worth and she's a pro at dealing with CFs too!

She is clearly talented so will have spent years training. You want her for her expertise - you wouldn’t hire someone who couldn’t do it - it’s going to take up her day with getting their before anyone arrives , setting up , the whole ceremony and after the ceremony- plus her travel . She has her equipment that would not have been cheap and she has to maintain it and practice what she is playing.

They are the prices she set, if you don’t want to pay don’t have her - as simple as that. You can’t just decide it’s too much and she’s the unreasonable one? Also , she isn’t your friend you don’t know her - she knows your friend, so why would you get mates rates ?

YABU

She also won’t be able to do another full wedding booking on that day too.