AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

@Bamsmam why on earth would she give you “mate’s rates ;)” - you aren’t friends and don’t even know her?

However £220 is very reasonable - this will cover prep work (incl. admin time weakling to you) travel time and costs as well as the time actually playing at the venue. Also doing “other music work” as well as weddings - sounds like a professional musician to me. Even the fancy bands like The Function Band you see on Instagram don’t exclusively play at weddings…

97% of the vote saying YABU is very conclusive but that wasn’t what you wanted to hear and from all your responses it’s very clear you aren’t taking that onboard!

How crass and cheap you are OP.

Ours is 150 call-out including a first hour, which doesn't involve all that much more then getting his stuff out of his van and blowing his cheeks and shaking his head when he sees the problem.

I was a professional musician until I retired 20 years ago. In the 1990s my "mates rates" would have started at £250 for something like that. And mates of mates were not MY mates.

Who was the pianist? Asking for when I need one next #teampianist

I mean that is a pretty good price.

We paid £300 for our bagpiper for 2 hours and then £1500 for the band for 4 hours, which was rather good price to be honest in the world of weddings.

Gordon Bennett! £220 was mates rates.

Ignoring the tens of thousands of hours of work put in to reach that standard, let's break it down.

1. She would have to discuss repertoire with you (sounds like she would need danger money for that). You presumably have particular pieces you want at particular times.

2. She would have to source that music. Standard stuff she probably already has, and can get hold of the "Wedding March" easily, but if you want the latest pop music, that is all copyright and will cost money. You sound like the kind of person who would then be contacting her twice a day to add in extras.

3. She will have to liaise with the venue to find if they have an instrument and of what standard it is.

4. She will have to spend several hours practising the music you want so she is ready to play it.

5. She will probably arrive at the venue a good hour earlier in order to set up without getting in everybody else's way. She may bring a change of clothes in case of a clash of colours. She may have her own instrument in the car in case the venue's instrument turns out to be terrible. She will then do a sound check to make sure all is in order.

6. She will probably start playing about half an our before the ceremony as the early arrivals start to come in.

7. Then she will do your entrance, and any hymns or other songs during the ceremony, including playing while you're signing the registry.

8. Then she will play your choice of music for exiting.

9. Presumably she would then be playing while you all mingle and congratulate yourselves afterwards.

I hope you're not also expecting her to play during the meal.

10. She will then have to wait until you've cleared the venue to pack up (unless she's using the venue's instrument, in which case she can just get away).

An absolute effing bargain if you ask me!

I absolutely love how big this thread has got 😂

You seem really tight and have no concept of how much things cost.

Just play a cd in the background if you don't want to spend money.

Also £220 is really cheap for someone to play music at your wedding.

Musicians Union rates dear - pretty well spot on for 2 hrs at a wedding

Just message her back op and say sorry, you realise you were a bit rude. You are working to a tight budget and finding it stressful.

Then forget about it; you'll have done your best to put it to rights.

Not sure what you will do for music though, as you won't find cheaper. I hate to tell you but that was mate's rates.

I think comparing rates to employed jobs is also unfair, as you get paid for all working days. Self-employed needs the paying hours to subsidise all the other hours in the working day.

Play a CD if you're too tight to pay the going rate.

We possibly need to come up with some appropriate suggestions, along the lines of tight...

I'm sorry so you got quotes for a lot more- you had someone offer you a cheaper rate and still thought it was too expensive and told her 😂😂 you also werent a potential customer at that point- you were a time waster!
Team pianist and would love her details to book her for all future events

What will you be paying a DJ or a band for your reception?

£220 for a pianist for a couple of hours sounds like the going rate.

the pianist was responding in kind to your rudeness.

YABU

I've cringed for you.
You were beyond rude to her. You come across as entitled and stuck up and im glad she put you in your place all be it a little too politely to be honest.

@Bamsmam also curious as to what your response to her quote actually said…

Poor friend getting caught in this mess too.

Meaness is very unattractive.

WhisperingAngelisnotbad

You are not being unreasonable to dislike the forthright response, which was offputting for a potential cloent.
Maybe the musician felt that, if that was your attitude, then she didn't want the gig?

I'm pretty sure the musician did not want the gig.
So why should she care if she's "forthright" to "a potential client".
I guess she'd written the OP off completely as any client whatsoever and wanted to ensure a bidding race of emails saying things like "Okay! 50 quid and you can take home all the leftovers you can eat" etc was nipped in the bud.

I think £220 is a very fair price. 2hrs of piano playing would require a lot of practise time, depending what else she plays professionally and if she has a repertoire ready for a wedding.

£220 is cheap. You have to factor in the years she has spent practicing and how much lessons have cost.
You also have to factor in the sourcing of sheet music, putting together a programme and practicing it. Plus she would have cleared her diary for that day.
As a performer myself nothing is more insulting than people massively undermining your worth, and having to defend yourself against it.
She was doing you a favour, and you threw it in her face.
YABU.

I'm now thinking there's a very lucrative niche for a piano-playing plumber...

£220 is what she charges - it’s irrelevant that it’s more than you pay your plumber! My lawyer charges £450/hour, should I say the same to her?
She is also sick and tired of people saying the same thing, and you expecting ‘mates rates’ when you aren’t a mate - though I agree her response was a bit rude it’s insulting of you to suggest she isn’t worth what she’s charging. And if she gets paid for playing she is a professional, doesn’t matter if weddings are her main be he or not.
It was a reasonable amount to charge and you should have simply declined if it wasn’t within your budget.

It's a skill you do not have. So you pay the going rate for someone who does have the skill to require. Good for the pianist for standing up for her skillset, and good luck finding someone cheaper 👍

She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

You sound so boorish and crass.

On the positive side, if your guests are anything like you, the 'piano playing' wouldn't have gone down well anyway. Stick to playlists OP.

That was a horrible response but her rates are very reasonable. She probably felt very insulted and thats why you got that reply.