AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

I can still knock out a creditable 'Chopsticks' and the first few bars of The Blue Danube. I'll do it for a nifty. You won't be sorry.

I'm still qualified in grade 1 recorder and I'll serenade the OP down the aisle to my haunting rendition of three blind mice for £100.

I suspect this is a reverse possibly? If not

1. the pianist was actually offering what I feel is a VERY reasonable rate.
2. You mention 'Mate's Rate when she isn't actually 'your' mate (cheeky)
3. You say how her work is all music related but then say she isn't a 'professional' which also got me thinking that what is it that would make her a professional and worthy of you paying her an acceptable amount.

Finally, good for her, she probably felt shocked at YOUR rudeness and audacity quite frankly.

I’m so embarrassed for you. Were you expecting to pay minimum wage? Sounds like she’s given you mates rates anyway that’s a bargain

She's a professional musician, not just a "wedding musician". I don't understand why you think that means she'd be cheaper. If your heart is set on a professional pianist playing at your wedding then gather some quotes and get an idea of what it costs, don't ask one musician and then whinge at them. If I were the friend you have in common I would be incredibly sorry I had given you anyone's details.

Crazy shit! You, not her. We paid £900 for a singer for one hour at our reception, And that was 20 years ago.

@FaitesVosJeux fancy forming a duet and splitting the fee 🤣.

Maybe you’d earn more if your maths was better…

Why would she give you mates rates? She’s not your friend.

And I’ve no idea why you are comparing her to a plumber, what’s that got to do with anything? Are you some kind of communist who thinks all professions should be paid equally regardless.

Exactly this. I would also add to this, that people working in the arts often don't have regular hours/regular jobs/employment contracts, (as they are usually self employed...) Ergo, no guaranteed income. So the 'well I don't get paid £220 a day' brigade are chatting shite, because lots of people in the arts don't either, not every bloody day.

Some may get £500 for a gig somewhere, and get no more work for 2 weeks. At least the OP and the few agreeing with her, are getting regular pay. People in the arts don't. Sometimes they don't know when their next gig is.

The ignorance from the OP, and a small handful of posters is off the scale!

.

'Money for old rope' just shows your poor attitude to a professional who's probably spent most of a lifetime, hours of practice and quite a lot of money to get where she is now.

Reverses are so tedious

YABVU

From her reply I don't think she would play at your wedding now anyway.

But it’s not £220 per hour is it.

she has to factor in the time to travel to the venue, the petrol to get there, set up time and then the time playing and travel back.

She is probably self employed so does not get paid holiday or pension contributions from an employer and she has to pay for her own insurance etc.

the long and short of it is, she can charge what she wants and you were entitled to expect to be treated any different to her other customers.

Pony each. I'm in!

I think £220 was a discounted rate because you had a mutual friend. Oh dear, you mucked up here, sorry.

Haha that’s a cutting wit.

Anybody else looking forward to the thread when the OP's wedding cake quotes start coming in? 😀

I hope she passes your name around so other musicians know to turn you down, Bridezilla, because you were rude and disrespectful of her skills.

She's a professional musician. £220 is already a low rate and you were after half that?? I'd have told you to do one as well.

The mutual friend must feel mortified, exposing g her pianist friend to such a CF.

I have no idea of the cost of hiring professional
musicians but I would think that quote quite reasonable. As pp have said she has taken years of lessons & practice to get there.

Yabu. She has a specific skill that you want. That is her price and worth. How dare you think that she is worth less than that. How entitled?

You started it.

Super. There you go OP, problem solved!

You are being very unreasonable. Why would you expect mates rates when she is not your mate, she is a professional pianist. You don’t appreciate her, if I was her I would not want to work with you, the price she quoted was cheap imo

She’s not your mate, though, is she? She’s a friend of a friend.

£220 is really reasonable for what you’re asking. 2 hours performance, plus potentially an hour either side to drive there / set up etc. Time before the day to rehearse the particular playlist you want.

Also adding an extra % because working at weddings is stressful and why should she do it for £100 when she could easily charge 4 x that?