AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

As if playing for a wedding was just the 2 hours you actually play on the day....

I don't think it is one though.

Also think you’re being extra unreasonable putting “wedding pianist” to have an extra dig when she is literally a pianist that plays at weddings…

Only £220?!

But it's not £220 per hour, you said a couple of hours. Then there's the prep, the travel, the breaking up her weekend. The instrument maintenance. So it's not £220 per hour, or even £110 per hour!

Just googled, pianist at a wedding for reception is around £450+. Yeah, she was already offering mates rates.

Why didn't you do the calculations before writing that? £220 a day, assuming a 5 day working week, is equivalent to a high salary of £57k+. Most skilled workers are not even close to that.

Grade 8 is roughly equivalent to an A-level. Most people have a degree, and many of us have professional qualifications or a PhD above that. But again, most skilled workers are not even close to a £57k+ salary.

As I said, people earning £57k and higher tend to people who are responsible for other people and/or customers (managers). The people who 'direct', not the skilled workers who 'do'.

You reckon? Difference is I'm happy to pay it...wait see what Bamsmam gets quoted for merely shoving her hair in a bun and sticking a tiara on top ...People that dismiss musicians piss me right off

It takes between 4 - 12 hours for a professional musician to learn six songs for a set (standard according to the internet) So let's be incredibly generous to the OP and say just 6 hours.

Let's also be generous and just say 1 hour of travel time which is included in any musician's fee

Then there is an absolute minimum of 1 hour to set up and take down the equipment so that she is not interfering with the wedding

1- 2 hours of coordinating time with the venue, this could include having to go and view the site but more likely will mean viewing photographs, some emails, possibly a couple of phone calls. Let's be kind and say 1 hour.

So you now have 9 hours of the time of a professional musician doing a job you cannot do and most people cannot do for only £220.

For the hard of thinking, that's about 24 pounds an hour to do a job you cannot do and most of us cannot do.

And when I checked with Bands For Hire (2025 Pianist Guide) the average cost quoted was £250–£350 average for up to 2 hours.

You are being incredibly silly and have embarrassed yourself completely. Do yourself a favour and never tell anybody else about this scenario. I'm embarrassed for you.

My friend (not a professional singer) sang two songs at my low-key, informal, wedding and I gave her a £50 voucher. (She said not to give her anything). I did that because of the time and care she took to practice the two songs I gave her. I can't believe you think circa £200 is expensive!! That's insanely cheap and you were so rude!!

The pianist can't work 40 hours a week. She has to include travelling time, practice time and expenses. She doesn't get sick pay, bank holidays off,annual leave. She has to pay into her own pension. You can't compare your hourly pay to that of a self-employed professional. Not can you compare a wedding pianist to a plumber, who will have much more regular and local work.

Maybe if you were more skilled and talented you would. You can’t tar everyone else by your standards of low achievement in life.

The minute you questioned the price you stopped being a prospective customer.

Reverse

😂😂

Don't have time right now to read all this, but I made do with a Mozart CD and as a young bride, thought I was very sophisticated. I would have bitten someone's hand off to get this sort of deal if I had been able to get the money.

It was perfectly lovely, but your options are in a massively different league. It really does take years to get to that skill level. Sorry you're offended, but I do think she's right.

I love her response! 🤣

I’m going to hazard a guess, based on your responses here, not you are not especially well qualified or skilled in anything…

You are paying for the time it takes to put together a play list, practice for you outside the event and travel to you. If you want a professional level of music service, that's a very reasonable quote. YABU. You'll need to decide if it's worth it to you or just play some music on a speaker.

People in the arts don't tend to work a 5 day a week job, plus after tax and NI, you're talking a little over 40k even if lucky to get 5 days a week. Not exactly a massive salary this day and age for a professional.

It is also supply and demand. Can't play the piano at a wedding yourself? Get a professional and pay them what they want. Don't want to pay them? Don't have one. It's really simple. People these days want everything for nothing.

Your skills obviously aren’t in demand enough to command that rate. You desire the skills she has.

And the price was for two hours? Plus her time to get there and back and prepare? She almost certainly can’t fit in another job that day, so it’s essentially a day rate, which she will have to pay tax from.

@Surgz You reckon? Difference is I'm happy to pay it

Why not use your common sense? A hair cut is about 10 - 15 minutes of labour. I'm going to be generous and round up to 15 minutes. So £120 for a haircut is equivalent to £480 an hour. If someone did 32 hair cuts in a day, that's £3840 a day. Even if most of that money goes towards business costs, that's still a massive salary.

Do you really think anyone should be paid that much?

@DownThePubWithStevieNicks Plus her time to get there and back and prepare?

Yes, that's called a "commute."

The overwhelming majority of people travel to a place of work... ...

What a magnificent reply

The OP isn't the only one who is embarrassing herself!