AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding!

This is the kind of thing I'd love to have the balls to say to real life CFs but I'm never brave enough.

Have you asked the venue if everyone can bring a packed lunch to save you paying for the 3 course menu plus canapés, too?

Maybe you should learn piano and then in ten years you could!

Yabu and vvvv rude. Well done on the pianist on knowing their value. Tbh the price sounded cheap. Guessing reverse as no one can be as rude as you been and ask on mumsnet

But this kind of fee is normal for these kind of services, these freelancers wouldn't be able to live on the earnings it's simple logistics, they don't have back to back hours at weddings to play at all day to justify a lower hourly rate, it may be the only gig they can get to and play in a work day, no matter how short the gig.

Similar to a minimum call out fee for a plumber etc, or they'd be bankrupt. Skills aside, it's the nature of the beast.

But it’s your friends friend so why would you get mates rates? 2 hours work? You think that’s it, what about her time practicing, her travel to and from the venue? That’s all factored in

£220 for a day’s work is not massively high for a skilled profession. Are you the groom?! I think you are massively underestimating the time it takes to achieve grade 8/diploma level and beyond on the piano.

But she’s not your mate?

Where does £220 an hour come from? Two hours performance, you said. That's £110 an hour. Plus rehearsal time for her - maybe another 9 hours. £20 an hour. I bet

• you get paid more than her (and you get sick leave and other benefits)
• her qualifications are better than yours. (Partially basing this assumption on your maths skills)

You say 'she does other things' as if this was a justification. Most musicians have portfolio careers. Who are you to judge?

we are nice people.

In my experience people who talk like this about themselves are usually anything but.

Aunty Mabel bakes a mean sponge cake, to be fair, and OP can bring her own tablecloths and make her place settings using crimping scissors and a nice felt tip pen.

Loads of ways to avoid paying for professionals to do a professional job when you put your mind ot it 😉

She is a professional pianist if she is paid to play piano in any capacity. If she plays to a professional standard, then she deserves to be paid as such.

Are you really as thick and selfish as you are coming across here?

Why would you expect mates' rates from someone you aren't mates with?

So let's call it a standard working day. £220 for one day's work is quite high. As I said, the training that a pianist does is no more special than the training that any of us did in our chosen professions.

£220/day works out to an approximate annual salary of £57k. A lot of professions earn more than that.

Hahahaha. You're one of those people that think being a musician/artist/performer isn't a real job aren't you?
Why don't ask on Facebook? I reckon you'll get someone that can do it for £50 and they'll be fantastic 😆

The correct response would have been, thank you, it’s a little more than we had budgeted for.

It matters not what else she does- that’s her rate for playing the piano.

You were rude. The remark about your next wedding was off though, I’ll give you that. The rest was fair enough.

I earned £225 teaching a Level 2 course to adult learners. And I did nowhere near as much training as a professional pianist--in fact, I did next to none other than the 5 years of training in the subject itself.

I don't think It's high at all for a pianist.

Oh i laughed at this. Good on her! You were the rude one OP

Funny! Good for her.

BTW, for a freelancing musician that isn’t two hours work - what you’re paying for is also the travel time, warm up time, and practise time before (highly unlikely she would pitch up not having practised it a few times before, no matter how well she knows the songs already). That, and as others have pointed out, if she has to turn down her usual work in the diary to give you the slot, why on earth would she give you “mates rates” and lose money for the day? You’re not even her mate! 😱 Actually cringing for you!

But the point is scarcity. There's not many people spending their lives playing the piano, it's not office work. Needs practice and prep plus endless grief if they get it wrong...

It's not mates rates, as you're not her mate.

£220 is a very generous mates’ rates! It has to cover rehearsal time, travel, travel time and playing on the day. Good luck finding anything cheaper.

These threads do my head in too when it's 99% logical and reasonable opposition and explanations as to why the op is unreasonable, then the op replies to the tiny percentage if people who agree with the usual THANK YOU!!!! reply, ignoring the vast majority. Textbook.

"She plays in all sorts of places" = she is a professional musician.

It's hilarious that you're acting like your wedding is likely to be the pinnacle of her career. The "all sorts of places" will include far more prestigious venues and performances than your wedding.

It comes across like you think she should prostate herself at your feet because you are "nice people" getting married at a "nice venue" and she should be pathetically grateful to be asked to play.

In reality you are a rude person who has dismissed her life's work as "money for old rope" and are arguing about what is really a very small sum of money. If you're getting married at a "nice venue" then £220 will be a very tiny drop in the ocean compared to your overall wedding costs, which makes your response all the more insulting to her.

It sounds like you're all fur coat and no knickers.

Exactly this. It’s also possible to earn more than £57k with a lot less hours of training than a professional pianist has had!

That's her day rate. If she is playing for you, she isn't earning somewhere else.