For being a bit bored and slightly irritated by people constantly being offended by a word!!

[xlr8]

Why is it that a word used by someone from a different..part of the country, upbringing , culture , education or decade offends so many people? Why do we all make such a big deal about not liking a word that someone has used to describe something?
What ever happened to sticks and stones????????

so how do you decide which words are worse than others?

so does that mean I have to refer to dd as a spaz now?

xlr8,
forgive me if i have htis wrong (am skimming recent posts, and have small children begging for food...) but you seem to be saying htat if someone uses a word like "epi" in ignorance of it's true origins then we should just let them get on and do so. And not try to point out that it si offensive to some people?

I don't understand that. I do understand that people may be unaware of the origins of som words that they use. But I do not get why it offends people like you so much when others, who find the word offensive, say "please do not use that word, did you know it comes from XXXX and meands YYY?"

Why should people who are offended sit back and let others get on with using a word that causes upset? Especially when the very use of the word in a casual manner is going to eventually ensure that it is socially acceptable to ridicule disabled/ill people?

It is not right to say "oh, but some pople do not mean to offend when they use it". The word itself is offensive, and to argue that it is being used in a non-offensive way is dangerous. It means that it has become so commonplace in society to demean disabled people that it is not even noticable anymore. and that is awful.

Very well said, silverfrog.

I agree.

riven
'so why are racial slurs worse than disablist ones?'

I didn't say they were, it was just an example!
Unless of course I have to list every single word/phrase that I think is acceptable or not!!

silverfrog
' But I do not get why it offends people like you so much when others, who find the word offensive, say "please do not use that word, did you know it comes from XXXX and meands YYY?'

Well if it was said in that way then fine, but on here a wor used by mistake is usually followed with a few fuck 0ff's and quite a few more insults!!

xlr8,

you know very well that it is almost without exception initially said very politely. and repeated politely ad nauseam. and then, when the right to use offensive langusge is still defended, beyond any reasonable or rational thought, then occasionally people get bored and tell you to fuck off.

But it is nice to see that if you are asked nicely to stop using offensive terms, then you would.

So I am asking nicely - would you please consider not using terms which a lot of people find offensive, and could you find it in you to not be irritated by them being offended?

Thank you.

hmm what about when a word is offence in this country but not in the other country. For example a couple of Kiwi mates used the p word for the pakistani cricket team. They have said that is just what it is out in NZ - English are poms, Australins Aussies ect. No there are no racial concections there - so was it right to be shocked? By the same token why be offended with Epi for example if someone is not connecting it to epilectic

Hmm same point as silverfish - just not as articulate - but would be a shame to not post after going to the trouble of writting it.

riven
'no it isn't. Its usaully explained again and again and again.
And norms still defend their rights to use insulting offensive disblist terms until we think oh bollux to it.'
Not in my experience, iv'e mainly seen an instant attack!!
I have noticed that you always use the term norms, does this mean the rest are abnorms, or non-norms or something else? And who comes under the 'norms'category? Just curious, as I havn't heard it before.

Flashman
this is of course another point, and something that happens all time, a cross in culture and upbringing has a big affect on the words used that can be acceptable, sometimes with different meanings.

As I said millions of posts back- if someone uses a word without understanding its connotations then fine. If, after having the meaning pointed out to them and having been told why its offensive they continue to insist on their right to use the word. Well, then they have identified themselves as a twat.

hmmm I don't know - kiwi in the uk still argues he don't see why he should change now - it is our hang ups not his. I can see both points being a twat and i do cringe, and his point.

He sounds like an arse sorry.

I can say the word omanko quite happily. I wouldn't say it in Japan as it is incredibly rude and offensive.

I didn't get chance to finish my point last night. (pesky kids). And i'm afraid it will contradict you xlr8. "Words like nutter are used everyday and mean different things to different people" Actually no, I think everyone means the "mad" version. My point was that I had to search back into a very old dictionary to find the original source being a 'nut gathererer' I'm fairly sure that isn't anyones first thought whilst using it and it bears no correlation whatsoever to the context its used now. but if someone was to be offended by it some clever dick would come along and try to tell you it originated as something else. So what? it doesn't matter where it came from it matters why you are using it now. I would never dream of using words like spaz, mong, epi, paki etc. I know they are offensive. I will admit that in my youth I used epi a lot - I have since discovered the offensiveness of it and so wouldn't use it again.
I think for you to say you're bored and irritated by people being offended is very harsh on those being offended.
I will say though I am a little hurt myself to be 'lumped' in with being a 'norm' and as such being unsympathetic and segregated from everyone else. I don't think 2shoes/riven etc you should go back to the SN board "where you belong". We all belong to MN to roam where so ever we like, debate on what we like and be free from insults.

sadly it seems some people are more free than others.
they can name change and start a thread to attack a whole group of people. and what does mn hq do ............zilch

I'm sorry you have to feel that way. But it really isn't all of us 'norms' that do it. I probably took that too personally tbh. I'm oversensitive today and possibly shouldn't be on the AIBU threads.

I am sure that wasn't aimed at you or the other nice people on this thread. sadly there seem to be a handful of people on mn who like to stir things up.

I know like I said oversensitive!! I know some of these stirrers and seeing as I'm up for a ruck at the moment I seem to find myself baiting the buggers. Silly of me. Hopefully someone will insult me deeply and make me cry.
Anyway sorry to have dragged you into a silly side (non)argument.

I hope they don't make you cry(gets ready to defend mistypeaks)

Bless ya. I don't need (or really deserve) defending. I want to cry. You defend those that need/deserve it. Save your fight for your lovely children. (btw love the sign on your profile page - made me smile - thank you)

As a small child (about 6yrs old) who went to live in New Zealand on a £10pound ticket with family, I regularly found myself and my sister, being chased home from school by the local kids all shouting "you pommy bastards" at us. I ran home one day in bare feet to be quick! TBH I would still find it offensive today. Not joky at all, because of my experience. Nowdays families who did this are called "£10 Poms" in the press.

FROM wiki See POMY on page. Pasted here if you want to read it.
Use of the word "pom" remains slightly contentious. Some British people living in Australasia find the term offensive and demeaning, others find it harmless and amusing. Attitudes to the use of the word have varied over the years. In the 1960s, slogans such as "bash a pom a day" were heard on New Zealand radio. In Australia, it was frequently employed in the contemptuous phrase pommy bastard up until about the 1970s, when the wave of postwar British immigration to Australia began to decline; although the phrase is still heard nowadays it is often used in a more jovial way. The word has become so common that few Australians and New Zealanders see any reason to avoid using it, some even justifying the use of it as a "term of endearment". In December 2006, the Advertising Standards Board of Australia unanimously ruled that the word "pom" was a part of the Australian vernacular, and was largely used in a "playful or affectionate" sense. As a consequence, the board ruled that the word did not constitute a racial slur, and could be freely used in advertising. The Board was responding to a complaint filed by a community group called British People Against Racial Discrimination.