AIBU to not give my DC extra money

[2AtUni]

I have two DC at uni (one 1st yr, one final yr), they’re both looking for more financial support

I think they’re unreasonable, they think there’s a CoL crisis and i am. I said I’d poll MN and see what the majority think.

they currently get £400 pcm. Rent & phone are paid for. Travel home is paid for. They get a big shop at beginning of term.

They get way more than most. Really ungrateful. Get a job would be my advice. My DS has just graduated and i’d have been disgusted if he ever had that attitude.

Why haven’t they got jobs?

Do they both have part-time jobs, work over the holidays?

Mine got the full student loan but nothing extra from us. They worked in the holidays and at termtime too.

£100 a week to cover food and going out is loads. They’re lucky!

They need jobs. All of my children and their friends, privately educated, have part time jobs at university.
It really focuses them, increases time management skills, and they learn the value of money.
Priceless.

Tell them to get off their entitled little backsides and get jobs like thousands of other students do. There's plenty of partime work in hospitality all year round.

They already get more from their parents than the majority of students do. They’re ungrateful.

Tell them to get a job like most other students.

Tell them that yes, there is a CoL crisis. Get out and get a job!

Agree they need jobs. £100 a week seems ok to me - £50 on food and £50 on fun stuff is pretty good going.

They are absolutely right, there is a CoL crisis, you’re actually glad they raised the issue because it’s given you an opening to inform them that you will be reducing their allowance to £300 a month.

How much student loan do they get?

some degrees in especially vocational ones like nursing do not allow for enough time to get a job as they have to do placements.

what degree are they doing?

Id tell them both to get jobs. Your not funding their go on the piss funds.

You said no and that’s enough. They’ll have to think this one through for themselves.

Do they do courses that make jobs impossible ? Eg healthcare

Did they work over the summer? Have they lined up some work for Christmas? Lots of places starting to hire Christmas temps

They’re not entitled to a loan as they haven’t been living UK - this also makes working during the year tricky as they can’t get back and forth home easily.

they’ve both worked FT over the past summers and have a good amount of savings. Eldest is planning on embarking on a masters and wants to use her savings for that.

we can afford to give them extra money and they certainly have friends who get more

Still £400 is reasonable if your covering everything else. Maybe knock back on the nights out and they wont struggle as bad.

We will be paying for DS’s accommodation next year and he will have his maintenance loan which will work out at c. £100 per week. That is plenty as far as I’m concerned. If he wants more he will need to earn it.

Are they able to work due to their course? How much contact time does it have?

I wouldn’t expect my kids to live on £400 a month, but that’s because I can afford them not to need to scrimp and save. However, I would expect them to be working to make the additional money themselves - unless they were doing a medical degree or similar where they really couldn’t afford to. Then I would definitely top them up myself.

Work ethic is what they need more than they need money. If they have the work ethic but their course doesn’t allow the scope for paid work (rare but possible), then that’s ok in my view. If they don’t have it, they need to get it and I’d probably give them less until they did. It’s a tricky balance to find.

Not really teaching them about the real world though is it?

They get enough. If you want to pamper them then go ahead. They're your offspring.

You don’t say where they are living but DD is in a cheap ish Northern city. Her rent is paid for out of her loan, I pay for her phone sim, and I don’t give her anything like that much. She pays for her food out of that (tho she does share with her friend), any going out, and her travel home. I got her a shop to start her off and a small shop when she went back for a week in August, but she had plenty in. She has near to zero travel costs. She knows she can ask for more if she needs it and I do check she’s not struggling.

I do not understand why they cannot work. Ds had a job at home in the holidays and a job at uni term time. Most students I know do. We did not give ds as much as you are but enough for food and he worked for the extras. He had to.

What are they spending on and what would they spend extra on?

rent and travel home covered - I think £400 per month is fine.

I read many years ago that students that have part time jobs are a fair bit slower to blow money on alcohol, than those living off the bank of mum and dad.
It has certainly been the case in this house.
Nothing like working a minimum wage job to focus them on their studies, the future, and the value of money.
Mine work 10-15 hours, no more.