AIBU to not give my DC extra money

[2AtUni]

I have two DC at uni (one 1st yr, one final yr), they’re both looking for more financial support

I think they’re unreasonable, they think there’s a CoL crisis and i am. I said I’d poll MN and see what the majority think.

they currently get £400 pcm. Rent & phone are paid for. Travel home is paid for. They get a big shop at beginning of term.

They need to get jobs to boost their not inconsiderable income. Bank of mum and dad is closed.

Why would they have to come home to work? Most universities are in areas where there is work available for students.

Pub jobs/supermarkets jobs are great for students. They offer flexible shifts and hours and they can use their holidays to take time off to come back home or some places will agree to unpaid leave for students to do that.

It just sounds like they want an excuse not to and the easy option of the bank of mum and dad.

They have more disposable income than I have as an adult with a full time job. They can jog on, tell them they can work for extras.

£400 a month with travel covered gives them the same money as an English student living off the minimum maintenance loan outside London. Which is the money that a lot of students have. I'd question why they want more - are they mixing with particularly "rich" crowds?

To those saying "get a job" - it's often not that easy to get a term time job as a uni students as so many people are chasing them. But they could and should have worked over the summer.

Just saw you pay their rent and bills, so £400 pm is just for food, transport and fun? That's bonkers. My parents didn't give me anything but kindly did pay my rent. Everything else came out of my student loan - I got the minimum amount!

They can get agency work, waiting at silver service events. Then they can accept and reject shifts as they wish, they won’t be under any obligation to work if they want to return home or study.

Sounds like they need you to sit down and review what they are spending with them so you can give advice on saving. Oh and they also need to get jobs - appreciate the home/away situation but they just need to work, thats it. Money doesn't fall out of the sky.

That's a lot of support. If they want more they need to fund it themselves.
My ds has £300 from us (his loan pays his rent) and has a part time job in term time and the holidays.
We help him out in other ways when we can but that's what we can comfortably afford and he accepts that.
Unfortunately it sounds as though your dc are a tad entitled.

My daughter is living on much less than £400 a month

They wouldn’t have to come back for work but if they work in their uni towns then it would be difficult for them to come back for Christmas - they wouldn’t be able to work Christmas Eve (as so many Christmas jobs require) and get home for Christmas for example

plus we usually go away for a week so they wouldn’t be able to come with us

Do you think this is unique to just your children? I'm confused as to why you think this is a valid reason for them not working.

Bloody hell! DD is in her third year. Her SL pays her rent and living expenses. She also works her arse off during holidays. Tell them to get jobs!

Ditto.

Yes. Having a job is inconvenient to social and family life, that’s one of the lessons you learn by having a job. Better to learn it now than when having a job is actually necessary to be able to provide a roof over your head and food in your belly or when you’ve had to battle for a graduate position that you then lose because you don’t understand the expectations and reality of working for someone else.

As someone who hires lots of people for professional roles, I really hate hiring recent graduates with no work experience because having done it repeatedly in the past I have found that those employees tend to have significant problems understanding start times, prioritisation, ability to manage a workload and other core requirements.

So they can’t work because they are international students ?
you can afford to give them more ?
do a budget sheet with them - if they need it, sort it

You’re confused as to why I think not being able to get home for Christmas is a valid reason for not working over Christmas?!

I might be reluctant to give them a bit of extra cash but I would like to spend Christmas with them 🙄

How is that an excuse for not working? I’m genuinely confused.

I think we are confused as most of us with uni children have them home for the Christmas holidays but they still work term time at uni. It is very normal in uni towns snd cities, they just have to put the effort and in to find these jobs.

If you can afford to do it why wouldn’t you . Who doesn’t want to make their kids lives easier

I think it is low. I don’t know how people are saying it is plenty.

I send my younger DD in her 3rd year £700 pcm. She lives in half board catered halls with housekeeping. I pay for her phone separately. This covers: the rest of the food, the course fees above the tuition fee, transportation, prescriptions, dentist/eyes, society&club fees, etc.

She doesn’t drink anything other than water. She doesn’t party or go see shows as she is a bit of a hermit.

My other DD who is in gap year before PhD I send her €700 pcm which only covers her rent. She works and pays the rest of her expenses.

Exactly !! All makes no sense !!!
we can afford it but …. Nah !! And the bonkers thing about a job - can’t work Christmas Eve ?? Can’t work for rest of year ! Clearly 🤪

Why would they have to work? Or have a valid reason to not work? I never required my DC to work while at Uni. Their full time job is to be a student and land that 1st class degree.

And when do your DC finish up for Christmas?

Eldest did have a retail job in first year but quit when it was made clear she had to work both Christmas Eve and the 27th, meaning she couldn’t have spent Christmas with us

My parents gave me £100 pw plus rent paid for over 15 years ago and it was only just enough then. Still needed to work a few hours a week to be comfortable.