Colleague sent me message by mistake

[Islandhopper10]

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

Yeah @Islandhopper10 there was no need for that at all

It won’t have been the first time he’s made comments like that. I don’t believe the first time he’s done it is the time he made a mistake and was caught. There’s at least one other person in the team who he feels comfortable sharing that kind of comment with and knows it will be accepted.

presumably OP isn’t new to the team, so she is in a position to get this stopped before, for example, an 18 year old joins the team and finds out similar comments are made about her, but she doesn’t feel confident to report, so she just leaves instead. If you’re in a position to fight sexism, I believe it is your responsibility to do so to help those who come after you.

Can’t even see the vulva, crack is accentuated though.

I mean my DP doesn’t complain when I wear them, so each to their own!

Was the colleague male or female?

I thought the same that she looked good in them.’

Now you sound like a bitch.

You wore clothes that accentuated your figure next to all your colleagues who you think are fatties compared to you, and are now acting faux surprised that it got the attention you clearly wanted. I think your male colleagues have got you bang to rights. You knew what you were doing.

I'm inclined to agree with him, you did know exactly what you were doing, you don't wear scrunch bum leggings unless you want to accentuate your rear, especially not with a regular length t shirt, and tbh I'm amazed it wasn't pulled up on as inappropriate work wear

😂

You are obviously too gorgeous for words OP 🤷‍♀️

I'm afraid I don't think ordinary leggings are appropriate casual workwear unless they're paired with a long top or dress. Multiple women at my work disagree, and honestly, it's embarrassing walking up the stairs behind them.

Scrunch bum leggings at work are something else. I am horrified that anyone could be so lacking in judgement as to wear them to work.

Scrunch bum leggings are literally designed to show off your arse so his comment was correct - you knew this when you bought them and chose to wear them. You can't really feign offense at someone noticing your bum in trousers designed to show off your bum.

It was still a pervy unnecessary comment for your colleague to make though.

My take home is.... You shouldn't really be wearing them in the office, but also your colleagues should not be making any sort if sexual comments towards you in the office either.

Why would he complain though? It's up to you what you wear and whether it looks awful or not isn't his business.

Word to the unwise: your partner may not complain if you dress as a clown or a stripper or a cheerleader, but that doesn’t make them inappropriate workwear.

I think I’m too old for this!
I thought scrunch leggings meant loose around the ankles. Then there’s all sorts of talk about vaginas and bum cracks. I am having a good laugh at some of the comments though.

OP - your idea of what is suitable as office wear is the reason why the multi national company I worked for, pre scrunch leggings, decided that dress down days would no longer be appropriate.

I don’t know, I’m getting to that size and those leggings look so comfy, size 12 no, too fat, size 14, don’t give a shit and don’t want to try any more trousers on that don’t fit (not scrunch because that would literally be obscene)😂

OP sounds like an outfit for the gym, not the office.

It does sound like they were not appropriate for work and have drawn attention. He deleted the message, assumed you had not seen so I would just leave it at that.

It is q interesting actually as my colleague wore something yesterday that I felt was inappropriate (top half rather than bottom). If she had seen a similar message I would have understood it.

I'm not sure I'd call it harassment since OP wasn't meant to see the message. It would be different if he sent it to her intentionally or said something to her or where she would hear it. If he's sending suggestive messages and then pretending they were accidentally sent to her, that would be harassment, as well, but this was just a poorly judged comment that he apparently sent to her by accident.

If this is the first issue you've had with him, I'd try to forget it and let it go. If it becomes a pattern of behaviour, that's the time to take action.

ETA: And it does sound as though the leggings were designed to attract attention, so... Can you really blame him for noticing? Still not wise to discuss them in messages (and then be careless about where he sent the message), but if you wear tight clothes that accentuate your bum, people will notice.

Sounds like your colleague has clocked you as a bit of an attention seeker. And rightly so.

Nothing surprises me anymore. I worked with someone who liked to wear short dresses to work and would bend down to pick stuff up whilst not wearing any knickers. When someone complained about it she demanded that they be taken into a room to describe in detail what tattoos she had on her arse, as though the complaint was worse than her behaviour.

Honestly, they walk (work) among us.

She had started an only fans account. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was filming herself doing it. She got sacked when she refused to go home and put underwear on and was last seen being dragged out by security while she screamed her head off about “human rights”.

I had to google scrunch leggings and am amazed you wore those to a work meeting. No wonder there were comments. And yes I reckon a bit of humble bragging and/or you are not very bright. Just waiting for you to tell us you are a size 8…

Spot on

Do you work in a gym? If not you can’t be surprised if a bloke comments on your scrunchie bum leggings in the workplace really. I imagine he’s not the only one who commented. I’m a heterosexual woman and I would have passed comment too but not with a sweat emoji!