Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

[partytimed]

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

Yes what he said was rude and the remark was ill timed. And yes sometimes in school kids need to get on with the task they have been given.

I work in school and six year olds absolutely can be smart arsed and push boundaries. At six they are not babies and most will understand what the teacher meant in the scenario described by the OP- which was 'I am looking for you to work independently'

Urgh! Shouting at me because I dared take the fucking spinning, light-up, flower fan pen you gave your child for school because unsurprisingly, they weren't using it for writing! It was a toy. You gave your child a noisy, distracting toy so they weren't doing what they're at school to do... listen and participate in lessons to learn! And your child was 9. Old enough to stop and put it away after the first ask, not carry on until I had to take it and keep it in my drawer until home time. (No I didn't fucking "steal" your child's belongings you nut job).

Zero regrets for leaving teaching.

apples to oranges, fgs

I believe children. Especially 6 years olds, little more than babies. His answer was NOT him being a smart arse. He was pointing something out that he found needed clarifying. In his little 6 year old brain he needs an adult to help process things with him. To shout at him for it until he cries is unacceptable. They're small children, not inmates in frigging prison. I hate schools with a passion.

perfectly articulated!! 🎯🎯🎯

He's not 10, he's 6!! Different situation and badly handled by the 'teacher'.. You'd have given him a 'right telling off?.. You're a primary school teacher?? This makes me very concerned indeed .. 😡

Good for you for making that decision. Obviously was no longer a good fit for you.

blinkblinkblinkblink
If that's your language of choice, I imagine the education department, also, had zero regrets over your leaving..

Don’t use schools then, home educate. One less entitled family for teachers to deal with.

He wa being cheeky but not at all very cheeky. To be ranted at about by a teacher is pathetic. Really weak and self indulgent of the teacher.

What is wrong with a, “Ho hi, yes very good Cedric. Now, the rest of you keep schtum thank ms very much.”

I hope you find out what happened.

Absolutely, you’re well out of it. I am stunned at the lack of support amongst parents in my son’s class for behaviour, from adults who should know better.

My child (7) got rightly sent out to the deputies for chatting and ignoring reminders to stop. Mine and my DH’s response- apologise to his teacher and deputies, authoritative telling off from us both, DC told it was completely unacceptable, zero excuses, removal of privileges at home. We’ve nipped that in the bud pretty quickly. Teacher (who is lovely) was genuinely surprised and appreciative of our response, which speaks volumes of the general level of parental undermining.

Others sent out for the same- one Mum went round telling other parents in the playground the teacher is horrible, strict, her child only talks to help others, it wasn’t her child’s fault but other children, she will complain to the Head. My DS: her daughter is really naughty. Obviously! I’ve seen her appalling behaviour myself and her mum says absolutely nothing to correct her. What a joke.

Children have no right to constantly disrupt learning of both themselves and others.

So your son was being a smart arse, got a telling off, and the teacher is the problem?

tell me again why teachers are leaving the profession?

Sorry I disagree. I was a primary aht/senco and behaviour specialist. My School was given recognition from the LA for having no ft or pt exclusions for 3 academic years. It was in a challenging area. I don't believe this 6 year old behaviour warranted this response. I agree maybe the teacher was at the end of her tether and just snapped and it's not the end of the world reqlly but I don't agree that he was rude or out of order he did put his hand up and 6 year olds are impulsive and very literal too. I also know that children often get very sad if they were told off for something they genuinely didn't mean to do or didn't do. He was probably making an honest and genuine comment from his point of view and not trying to be rude and that's why her raising her voice is even more painful to him. op just needs to have a chat with the teacher to get her version of the events and go from there. I think if the teacher knew how much she had upset him she would want to make it right. In my experience the best way to get good behaviour from children is through asserting boundaries firmly (e.g maintaining them and not giving in) but gently e.g ensuring we are not humiliating or shaming them into compliance. It can be done.

Sadly they are both. 6 is very very young. The teachers are basically being paid by results ( as in Victorian times) Also now everybody has to have a difference or a syndrome. They probably need an early night.
30 odd children, the National Curriculum, no TA....no wonder it's shit.

Yes I am a primary school teacher, and a good one too.
No adults like children being a smart arse, and your son at six should know to follow the instructions of his teacher. I probably would have replied with a 'Just get on with your work!' but I can imagine how annoying the teacher found the comment.

Mine was always getting into trouble for things like this. He came across very pedantic and literal. It used to really upset him. Being told off constantly for being rude. I used to try to explain- if there is an emergency and somebody has told you to stop or be quiet, you need to do it right now and just think the literal meaning in your head. He is asd but mainstream- he can manage now he is older but he was always being told off when he was little.

Hrft but all I read about behaviour is that if you yell as a parent, that's what your child will understand, surely same applies to teachers.

And yes he was being smart, but surely there are better ways to tell a 6 year to be quiet than shouting.

This. And even if he was correct, he was rude to speak back and try to correct a teacher! He sounds precocious at best.

My daughter would have said this kind of thing, she is autistic though she wasn’t diagnosed as such at 6.
she wouldn’t have been being a smart arse, she would have been being factual in her head,

Reading between the lines I’m guessing the teacher was dealing with a lot of shouting out, comments about things that had nothing to do with the lesson and general fussiness.
Low level disruption, while low level, impacts on learning. What she was basically saying was to only put your hand up if you have something urgent to say.
Did your LO put his hand up or shout out his observation? If he did, was he pointing out that the teacher was wrong as that could have come across as disrespectful? Pain and injury aren’t the same thing, so perhaps explaining to your LO that if he has a question and needs clarification from the teacher, its best to put your hand up and say ‘I have a question about what you said.’
Obviously you don’t know what the context around the reprimand was, so you may want to ask the teacher what happened.
I would say the shouty response seems a little OTT but then we don’t have context.
I work in a school and adults understand they are not to use their voice to shout at children. I’ve very occasionally heard a teacher shout when a child does something unsafe.

Agree.

I'm shocked at people's responses on here. He's six years old! Children at this age think very literally- pain & injured to a young child will seem very similar in meaning. If the teacher did go off on him (I would check this before going in guns blazing) - it was a complete over reaction. I understand teachers have a job to do and there will be times when a quieter working environment is needed, but anyone working with young children (or who has young children) knows how impulsive they are. It doesn't make them naughty or as some have said "a smart arse"

She said in pain or injured which, while there is an overlap, are not the same thing. The same applies to hurt and injured.

I'm actually shocked at the number of adults on here who don't realise the words are not synonyms.

Edited as I responded to your post before you edited and when you said "hurt & injured is the same he wasn't wrong in what he said"

Yes, the DfE has a massive problem with anonymous adult teachers swearing on anonymous adult-only forums in their own free time. That is the sole cause of the teacher retention crisis, clearly. All these adults swearing in adult only places having to leave teaching. Nothing to do with behaviour/parents making excuses for shitty behaviour at all.