To ask who would date a man without a college degree and/or earning less?

[CleopatraSelene]

It's such a big talking point with sexist men now & also in general think pieces in media. So I thought I'd do an AIBU poll out of curiosity.
I personally would date someone who earns less & I would date someone without a degree. I would want someone smart but that isn't synonymous, esp when you look at idiots like Owen Jones & Boris who went to good unis.

However, I date women so not directly comparable

. Also housing is not an issue for me, and I know I am very lucky in this as right now housing costs are ofc out of control & the government fails to do anything...

I suspect housing & wish to be SAHM are big factors, and reasonably so.

I have a degree - I'm a teacher. My husband doesn't have a degree, he earns 5x my salary. I don't need to work but I'm happy doing so.

I was going to say this. My DH doesn't have a degree but we met through work. We had our jobs in common and we had a chance to really to know each other before going on a date. My DD is dating again after splitting up with a long term boyfriend she met in school and doesn't get a chance to meet a lot of men through her work so she went on a dating app. Her profile picture is one taken at her graduation and so far, 99 per cent of the guys asking for a date also have degrees. I think most people would be open to date anyone they had chemistry with, who made them laugh but when you go on an app all you have is a list of criteria to help you focus on the people you feel you might have more in common with. The internet has changed the way people date so much.

I've not said that higher-earning or degree educated partners are better.

I know. I'm genuinely curious about which degrees people feel give people a more rounded ability to be good company? Critical thinking, curious etc....

Sorry, I understand now.

My husband didn’t go to university and is the most curious, clever, driven person I know. He has an appetite for learning and understanding new concepts that quite frankly would exhaust me, the red brick educated straight A student one! And he earns less than me but has started his own business and has had a successful career in his chosen field for 20 years.

I would assume that a man who didn't have a degree was a high earner, because I'd assume he might be in a trade.

Yes I'd absolutely date a man without a degree.

No I wouldn't date someone who earned less than me. My husband earned considerably less than me for the first 17 years of our 20 year relationship (until he retrained into a trade). That's OK as he's earned my goodwill. However, were I to date again, I'd only consider someone who brought as much to the table as I do.

Pretty much this.

There's a lot to be said for a man who is "good with his hands" 🤪

I dropped out of uni after a term and then did well in the City when you still could. I had my own house in SW London by the time I was 27 and a very small mortgage.

DH was originally working class, Oxbridge, brain the size of a planet. Star Pupil in Chambers. He was on his uppers when I met him.

36/7 years on, we are still very happy. I got a Masters and professional qualifications and he got rich.

We were kindred spirits. He's cleverer than me, I'm more practical and social than him. I taught him how to appear confident, he grew my self esteem.

A tradesman in a solid trade is fine; millwright, speciality brickwork, tile setters.
The plumber I have arriving in 45 minutes charges $175 per hour! Yes Canada still a massive wage ( I’m hoping that’s for the first call out hour).

That's really nice 😍 I love hearing all these stories. The papers should report these rather than just doing stories about women rejecting men for things (which ofc should be our prerogative just as men can reject for stuff)

I’m degree educated and so is my husband. I would definitely date someone who isn’t and have done in the past. My ex boyfriend was in a trade, he had had a difficult start in life and family issues, he wasn’t very well educated in the traditional sense and had some issues with reading and writing but he was the most ambitious and hard working person I knew, he had such a drive to better himself despite his difficult start in life. We obviously split up but I really found his drive attractive and although we haven’t kept in touch I’m vaguely aware that he has been very successful through mutual friends and I do feel a strange sense of pride in him.

Anyway to answer your question yes I absolutely would as I find work ethic, ambition, a drive to better your circumstances attractive regardless of if that is through traditional education or something different.

Of course. I have 2 degrees - currently doing the third. But my dad was a tradesman without a GCSE and he’s as smart as me.. maybe smarter certainly at Maths.

As for earning less, it depends. So long as together we’re comfortable it’s fine but I wouldn’t want to struggle.

DH earns under 30k but I find him attractive . It's not about the money.

I left school at sixteen with five GCSEs and whilst I don't care one way or the other whether anyone has a degree, I'd be actively put off somebody who stayed in education well into their twenties.

I did. We married. We have been happily married 20 years.

2 of my friends married lower earner men. All are very happy

My first great love left education at 18 and did a variety of unskilled or semi-skilled manual jobs. I had a degree from a good university and a professional qualification. We loved each other deeply, and shared our passion for wilderness and the environment.

We spent several years travelling and doing seasonal or casual work, living cheaply. Even when I worked in the career I had trained for, I wasn’t a big earner — he usually earned as much or more.

I longed to stay with him. But we eventually split up because he was drawn towards more and more remote areas, while I discovered I was a city-dweller at heart and was ready to settle down.

My DH now is as educated as I am, and usually earns more than I do. Our backgrounds are similar but he is much more settled. He has always had a steady job.

On paper they would seem very different men. But like my first love and me, DH can live simply, values love and friendship, and puts job satisfaction before money. Turns out we differ in ways that don’t matter much, but agree on the big stuff.

As long as they could afford a similar lifestyle to me then i’d be happy. it would be uncomfortable if I wanted a pricier holiday or nice evening out and he can only afford KFC and leaking tent. (extreme example but you catch my drift!). i wouldn’t be bothered about a degree either.

A university degree is important to me because I want someone who values education.

It's bizarre to imagine that not having a degree is the same as not valuing education.

No and no. They aren’t the only or most important deciding factors, but I’ve never dated anyone who didn’t have a postgrad degree and seriously outearn me (I earn low six figures). DH went to Harvard and earns three times what I do.

I have had a few differernt situations in differernt relationships but have never minded dating someone with a lower education level or income. It is important to me that someone isn't a lazy arse.

I do think a fair number of women do prefer a similar education and income level though.

My DP doesn't have a degree and earns significantly less than me.

I've found over the years that being considerate, respectful and kind hearted are all more important to me.

DH earns less than me but he does have a degree. He can afford a similar lifestyle to me which is all that I feel matters when it comes to finances.

I find men who work in manual jobs more attractive than office workers. It seems more masculine . I don't care about the money because I can earn my own money, but often tradesmen earn well anyway.